Having absolutely ruined your own face, for a minute you start to think you've screwed yourself out of seeing again--until you remember the assortment of things you tossed in there... anything that couldn't be folded was just shoved into the bottom drawer. Things that weren't necessarily 'clothes', but you didn't have anywhere else to put them. You know the type--costumes... toys...
But after rummaging your free (and only) hand down there, your fingers wrap around a pair of glasses--and without hesitation, you slip them on... only, it's hard to get the leverage with one hand, and you've never worn glasses before. They're haphazardly affixed to your face, slanted diagonally, and the error only makes itself known to you when you're staring at the mirror just above the dresser... disoriented by the way your eyes are angled--everything at a 45 degree tilt. Your right eyes higher then your left eye, both not straight on the way they should be...
But as much trouble as that might be, it's not nearly distracting enough to stop you from playing with your face and leaning in, looking over your new sex, exploratory toes tugging at your new hole. You're a sexed up freak, that much is true. The only question is, what will your girlfriend think if you can't fix this before--"I'm home~!", she sings, barging into your bedroom before you can even hope to hide your screwed-up face.
You turn to face her, in shock, but are too afraid to reel back, and the subtle flexings of a lewd hole where your mouth should be fortunately keep you from screaming... but she doesn't even look phased, blinking at you. "Oh, panties off today, hon?", she questions, sending your mind reeling--and that's before she steps up to you and french-kisses you so hard, your slanted eyes roll back. Her lips feel heavenly on you any other day, but the way they press against her... y'know. And when she slips her tongue into her own, misplaced hole, kissing you for all you're worth, you just about pass out...
But you manage to stay conscious as she peels away from you, snickering--patting your crotch, which is saying more then you ever could on your own, now. "I got off of work early... come watch something with me? We can make it more fun, if you want...~." She winks--and the door closes.
You're left standing there, staring at the door, your perverted-picasso-lookin face in disbelief.
Apparently "one size fits all" refers to more then just your body... reality, too, fits around your new style...