When Michael heard the noises from Sofya’s house go quiet in the bug software, he suspected that they were fast asleep. It was just after 11, so it wasn’t such a late night. He thought he had enough time to reach his friend Diya, but when he went to call her, it went straight to voicemail.
“Must be hitting the hay early tonight” Michael thought to himself. “That’s so unlike her, though. She’s usually a bit of a night owl. I wonder what that’s all about.”
Deciding to leave a message by text, Michael sent Diya an encrypted message in the app that they used to communicate with each other privately.
“Diya: U r in danger. Txt or call me tomorrow asap to discuss plan to protect u and ur family.”
When Michael was done sending the message, he decided to stretch his legs and go use the bathroom. When he was done, he saw that the lights were on downstairs and decided to make his way down to see who was still up. When he made it down the stairs, Michael could see his mother sitting on the couch in the living room; quietly thinking to herself. After a moment of silence, she turned up and motioned to him.
“Have a seat” his mother called to him.
Hesitantly, Michael made his way over to the couch and sat down next to his mother.
“Is dad still up?” he asked his mother.
“No” his mother replied.
A moment of silence passed, before Michael’s mother addressed him.
“You’ve been cooped up in your room all night” she pressed. “That’s not very good for you to being doing that. You should at least stretch your legs and walk around every once in a while.”
“I know” Michael replied. “It’s just that I’m still mad at dad and don’t want to have to keep looking at him right now.”
“I know, sweetie.”
“I’m still mad at him for grounding me.”
“I know that, but you have to understand things from his perspective.”
“I guess…”
“He could have died. We almost had to take him to the hospital. He’s deathly allergic to dogs and we’re all lucky that he didn’t succumb to his allergies. He wants to be there for you, Michael. He just sometimes doesn’t always know how to say it. Or show it.”
“Well, he certainly knows how to disparage you.”
Michael’s mother stared at him nervously, as she composed her thoughts and proceeded to address this sore subject.
“Michael, I know you heard a lot of things from your father today that might have come across as very harsh towards me, but he’s not being fair in his description of events.”
“I figured as much, but tell me what he got wrong.”
“Well, for starters, it wasn’t exactly love at first sight.”
“What do you mean?” Michael asked with a frown.
“Well” his mother answered “he was kind of the one who pursued me.”
“Huh?”
“Well, much of what your father said was pretty accurate, even, admittedly, about my previous problems with drugs. But that only happened because I got mixed up with the wrong crowd. I just wanted to fit in and so I did things that I shouldn’t have. I made some mistakes, but I’ve managed to clean myself up and kept myself composed despite the challenges we’ve faced. I’m happy that you haven’t succumbed to that fate. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.”
“I wouldn’t though….”
“I know that, so know that I’m proud of you for being as straight laced as you are. And it’s what drives me absolutely crazy about your father being so nasty toward you since you came out to him last year. He knows what could happen to you and yet he allows his bigotry, which is what it is Michael, no matter what he says, to lead you down the path I went on or worse. It’s amazing that he didn’t comprehend this sooner.”
“For me, though, it’s more about just having a good relationship with him, mom. I love him very much. He was such a good dad to me up until this point. For him to throw that all away now, to throw me away now, hurts me so much.”
“I know, sweetie. And I’ve mentioned this to him a number of times before. But he’s stubborn and that trait always drives me nuts.”
“Agreed.”
“And he’s persistent too, which, speaking of which, is one of the things your father didn’t mention to you in his little trash talk about me this evening. It was not love at first sight between us. He may have felt it for me, but I just saw him as some sweaty teenager who my father was mentoring. I had seen many boys like him before and I didn’t see him as any different when we first met. Plus, my father always warned me not to get into a relationship with one of the men he was training. He said it would complicate his working relationship and cause problems. So before I met your father, I never did go out with one of the wrestlers he was training, even when I thought they were very sexy. And I didn’t really have any major feelings for your father until my own father passed away.”
“Huh?”
“I felt sorry for him. He lost everyone important to him in his life the night of your grandparent’s car crash. Sure, I had siblings, but none of them were nearby, so I kind of was in his boat, but at least I had people I could call upon if I really needed help. Your father had no one left. My father was kind of like his surrogate dad to him for a time. When my own father died, I didn’t really have anyone to rely upon and he didn’t either. When I sold the house and the apartment your father was living in, your aunts and uncles got their share of the profits and I got mine. That money would only keep me for a short period of time. It wasn't much after taxes and splitting it five ways. I wanted to allow my father to stay in the apartment, but we all needed the money, so he had to move out, which killed me a bit inside. I could work to make ends meet, but I decided to stay in school instead. I thought it would pay off for me in the long run if I finished my degree. I mean, it has, to an extent, but with our situation as it is now, I wonder if it was worth it.”
“It kept us going through hard times though, mom.”
“It did, but still. I never really liked school and I only did it because my father kind of insisted on it. I almost dropped out when he died, but I decided against it. I’m glad I did stay in hindsight, but that’s not the point. I’m getting off target. So anyways, when my father died, your father was like a rock to me. Sure, he was only 17 at the time and there was a huge ten year age difference between us, but he had this maturity beyond his years that I found very appealing, It didn’t hurt that he looked older than his age and had the body of a full grown man as well, which my father helped create with his training. I think what first attracted me to your father when I allowed myself to start seeing him romantically was his looks and the masculinity he exuded so confidently. However, it became about his personality the more I got to know him. He comforted me in hard times, even with his own stuff he was dealing with. He gave me the emotional support I needed at that time, which I credit with helping me avoid a relapse into drugs. If it hadn’t been for my father dying, I don’t know if I ever would have had a relationship with your father. He proved himself worthy of my love during that critical period in my life. I grew to love him then and it’s why I hesitated in my decision to have an abortion.
“Mom…”
Michael put his hand on his mother’s shoulder as she shed a tear.
“I didn’t want to lose him, since he had been so supportive of me up until the time I conceived you. He was adamant that I had to keep you, even though logically, I didn’t think it was a good idea. It was largely his fault. He should have pulled out, though I should have warned him I wasn't on birth control anymore. A part of me feared losing him forever over this decision and that the loss could cause a relapse back into drugs. I figured that even if I did give birth and we struggled to raise you, that having your father around would be critical in preventing me from going down a bad path. I know it was risky considering what could have happened if I had relapsed while raising you, but I wasn’t thinking logically.”
“It’s ok, mom. If I were in yours and moms shoes, I would have aborted me as well. I don’t blame you for wanting to do that.”
“I know and that still bothers me sometimes. I love you so much, Michael. I know he complains that I love you in an unconditional way that I don’t with him, but you're my flesh and blood and it’s crazy that he doesn’t understand the difference. But sometimes, I wonder if we made the right choice in bringing you into this world. We struggled so much during those early years, that I really thought at moments that we made a huge mistake in hindsight. We got lucky that things worked out in the end, but it was no guarantee and I wouldn’t wish the experience upon you or anyone. Your father makes it seem like it was all roses after you were born, but we struggled so much afterwards that it’s amazing that we survived.”
“I know, mom” Michael replied, as he took his hand off of her shoulder.
“And yes” his mother continued “your father did pitch in and help raise you, even with school and wrestling wearing him down, and for that I am grateful. However, a lot of the early child rearing was done by your uncle.”
“Seriously? I never knew that before.”
“Yes, Michael. When I was a little bit along in my pregnancy, I called your uncle and asked him to stay with us for a while to help in raising you. Your father and I were in school full time and couldn’t afford to pay for child care. Your uncle was a bit of a wandering nomad, as you already know. He’s never held down a job for more than a year. He just up and moves on to somewhere else when he’s done living in a place. So, he agreed to stay with us for a while and he helped cared for you in our apartment for a year and a half. Then, I got a job as a nurse and was able to stay home during the day, while your father watched you in the evenings. Your uncle left to go wander around the country again after that. It may have been the longest he had ever been in one place since the late 70’s or early 80’s. Once you enrolled in school, though, your father and I both worked during the day full time. Well, despite the rough patch your father faced after his wrestling career was over.”
Michael nodded, as he took all this information all in. He knew some of this beforehand, but some of the information was entirely new to him. It made him see his parents in an entirely new light.
“And when I went to try to get an abortion when I first learned I was pregnant, it’s not that I didn’t want to keep you. I wanted you, but only when I felt I, we, were ready to give you a good life. We’re lucky we managed to make it work in the end, but it would have killed me if we had failed you as parents.”
“I know.”
“Which is why it is crazy that your father has been pushing you away so much. He advocated for you more than anyone else and now he wants to throw that support away because you’re gay? Crazy.”
“Maybe he’ll come around. It seems like he’s trying to accept it.”
“I hope he does, for your sake. I hope the therapist he'll start seeing on Monday helps him too. You deserve to have him around, Michael. As your father, he owes that to you, at the very least.”
Michael gave his mother a hug and embraced her for a short while. When he was done, Michael went to head upstairs and looked down at his mother to ask her a question.
“Mom?”
“Yes sweetie” she replied.
“I have a bad feeling that something might be wrong with Freddy. I know I’m grounded and all, but if I hear he’s in trouble, will you let me go so I can go help him?”
“I don’t know, Michael. I don’t know if your father is going to allow you to do that. And besides, can’t the police help him?”
“They may not be able to help him in time.”
His mother paused, as she looked up at her son standing on the top of the staircase. After a brief silence, she answered.
“I’ll see when it happens and make a decision then.”
“Alright mom.”
The two of them nodded, as Michael went back into his room and shut the door behind him. This was the best he could hope for if he needed to break out tomorrow to go rescue Freddy. Although his father was still going to be a challenge to overcome, at least Michael would have one advocate in his corner. Taking off his clothes, he plopped himself down on the bed naked and proceeded to drift off to sleep. Michael hoped that he and Freddy would survive the danger that they’d face the next day. It was going to be a difficult request to fulfill.
The next morning…….