You are not logged in. Log in
 

Search

in Mad Science by anyone tagged as none

Mad Science

Animalia Ambassadoria: Strangest News...

added by makutamon 5 years ago O

"Hello everyone, and welcome to a new episode of Animalia Ambassadoria." said Abby. "This episode is dedicated to the strangest news involving Animalians."

---

"Probably the strangest recent news involves the attempted theft of Anastasia Romanov's topaz-and-diamond pendant." Said Sarah. At the name, there was a scene from the 1997 Anastasia where Bartok responds, "Just one problem there, buddy. Anastasia's dead. All the Romanov's are dead." "We still don't know her real name, and thus call her 'Missy'. But because she was attacked so viciously by both comedians and the infamous internet 'trolls', the FBI gave her a private, quiet trial and paid for her conversion."

"To help her feel a little better, if she's watching this," said Malice, "There was a case of someone who attempted to rob several banks after covering his face in lemon juice, since lemon juice is often used to make invisible ink. One psychologist called it the... something-Krueger effect, where someone is so stupid they can't perceive their own stupidity." At that there was a scene from Wedding Crashers where one of the characters says "What an idiot!"

"It certainly was a little confusing when the FBI AND the CIA payed a visit to look at several of the gadgets Missy had on her person, especially those that are able to bypass home security systems." said Sarah. "Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up in real spy hands, or at least the next Perry Platypus Movie." At that there was a scene from The Big Lebowski where one of the characters says, "That's marvelous."

"But Missy has finally chosen what she wants to be as a new member of the Rhino Guard's Stealth Division." said Malice, "She's chosen to become a bat because she has a personal, childhood hero, in a bat named Rogue, even though I don't know who that is." At that there was a big debate on the comment section. While some mocked her for not knowing who Rogue the Bat was, there were those who countered that she couldn't know about her, having been uplifted relatively recently.
---

"If you think that's unusual," said Jen-Jen, sitting at a table at another location. "then this will top that."

"It's no secret that those who undergo conversion often develop Regressive Hypersexuality Syndrome, which has been used by a hypocritical federal government in an attempt to control Animalia, which then reverses when they (appropriately or not) learn that the Animalia Virus can be used as a 'cure' for Homosexuality." said Julie Jenkins. "But since the disorder is more prone to appear in women rather than men, it can cause headaches for both the government and Animalia, but sometimes there are cases of it appearing in men that leaves the feds scratching their heads."

"This case actually goes back to the original outbreak of the virus, but it's only apparent now." said Jen-Jen. "According to our records, Steven Blair is not only one of those converted during the original outbreak, but is currently Animalia's first, and so far only, billionaire."

"It's often said that With great power comes great responsibility.," said Julie, "But in Steven's case, he would add on to that and with great money comes great headaches.." Then they both continued the story in a similar way to a real news story.

The news story says that Steven Blair was one of the last to be affected by the original outbreak, and also the wealthiest. He had been infected with the virus with "fox strain" on the last day of his 99th year without knowing it. This was due to one unfortunate reality of extreme wealth and extreme age: heirs fighting with each other over how much they should get as inheritance when he finally dies. His grandson was complaining that he needed the money for a surgery (for what he couldn't remember), while his granddaughter said that her two kids, who were in high school, needed money for their college education, while a third (he couldn't remember his name) was complaining about 'not having slept in a bed for years'.

He had inadvertently gotten his second dose the next morning, which also happened to be his 100th birthday. He had been converted into a fox Animalian during the night while he slept from the first dose, and was restored to youth by his second dose, much to the chagrin of those who were after their inheritance from him. They did get the money they were after, but only after Steve sold his old mansion to move to Animalia to have a new mansion.

It was a little more obvious when you saw Steve's before-and-after measurements. While it was no secret that, even those Animalians who were of the same species, could be either shorter or taller or more "built" than other members, Steve Blair, after double dosing, was on the high end of size. He was both taller than Robby by a head, and had enough musculature to be in the heavyweight class of Animalians while other fox Animalians were on the High-middleweight end of similar things.

It was also no secret that Steve Blair was also diagnosed with Male Regressive Hypersexuality Syndrome after it was officially labeled, since he was not only registered as part of the A-BC and the UFC-A, but he was also enjoying his new lease on life as those who were known to be diagnosed with RHS. He had also sold his limo and gotten a custom bike made especially for him; when it was discovered how to get tattoos to show on fur, he had gotten a tribal design on both his upper arms, back, and shoulders, and he was often seen as a regular at both Claw Coliseum and the Meat Market.

When Fleur became part of the Homosexual Anonymous program, Steve immediately took up with her. While there were those who accused her of being a "freeloader" or "gold-digger", Steve was helping her deal with both her awakening heterosexuality and insecurities that were rising to the surface.

---

While it is true that cultural shock can be pretty, well... shocking, Anne's new husband Oscar had a minor one that was more amusing than shocking, especially when it was recorded for Animalia Ambassadoria. Courtney Hedges was sent to interview both of them, but only managed to get to them over the weekend. This resulted in coverage of what a real "traditional" French breakfast was. Both Oscar and Courtney were looking forward to breakfast, thinking that it would involve French toast and/or French fries, but the result was a little surprising, both for Courtney and Oscar.

"Cheese, sausage, and soup for breakfast?" asked Courtney, who had the worst of it.

"This is one of those things that you get used to over time." said Oscar, who was a little more used to this. "So don't worry too much about it and have some sausage." Later there a clip from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy where Double D responds (after he tries some of Rolf's "fish sticks"), "A gastronomic coup," but it had the part where Double D says Rolf's name clipped out since there was nobody named Rolf in Anne and Oscar's Household. But the comments were more focused on Janice, because she was swelling up fast due to being pregnant with twins, and thus was eating a lot more. While some of them were considered inappropriate, most of them were in sympathy.

---

"Well that's all the time we have for this episode." said Abby, winding up the episode. "See you all next time in the Wilds of Animalia."


What do you do now?


Title suggestions for new chapters. Please feel free to use them or create your own below.

Write a new chapter

List of options your readers will have:

    Tags:
    You need to select at least one TF type
    Tags must apply to the content in the current chapter only.
    Do not add tags for potential future chapters.
    Read this before posting
    Any of the following is not permitted:
    • comments (please use the Note option instead)
    • image links
    • short chapters
    • fan fiction (content based off a copyrighted work)
    All chapters not following these rules are subject to deletion at any time and those who abuse will be banned.


    Optional