"And you said Susie had it?" said Phil, turning the device over in his hands. "How'd she get it?"
"I have no idea, but it look like the kind of thing you'd have," said Anna. "You didn't leave it out, did you?"
"No, It's not mine... No brand name or other identifying marks, either. It's obviously an electronic device of some kind, but there's no FCC 15 clause. It must be some kind of foreign knockoff."
This wasn't going great for Roy. He had almost reached the device when Brittney moved it closer to her to look at. Now that Phil had it, he could do no more than shift around in his comically large padded high chair and feel his diaper crinkle. He had been so close...
Anna thought for a moment. "We never did find the remote for the old TV, before we sold it?"
This caused Brittney to look up out of her phone and smirk at Phil. He returned it with a glare. "What, you're still on about that old thing? We lost it years ago! If it was still in this house, we would have found it since." Roy was incredulous. The device looked nothing like a TV remote (maybe a cell phone, if anything). Did the device's reality altering effects act as a sort of camouflage?
Brittney lowered her phone. She theatrically exclaimed "Well gee dad, obviously we mustn't've looked everywhere. If even dear Susie could find it, it must have just been right under our noses the whole time! Can you fancy that-"
"Brittney!" scolded Anna. "That's no way to talk to your father! And Phil, of course that's the TV remote. If you had looked a little harder, I'm sure you would've found it!"
Brittney dropped the theatrics. "You guys have got to learn when an argument isn't worth it." She left the table and retreated down the hallway.
Phil's frown deepened. "I did look hard, I spent hours!".
"Oh yeah? Is that how long it took for the delivery people to arrive? You promised me that we wouldn't upgrade until we found the remote!"
Phil gestured with the device dramatically. "Well, it's damn convenient that we lost the remote right after I started shopping for a new TV!"
Liz stared intently at her doll. Roy nervously played with what was left of his hair.
"It's not my fault that you keep buying things we can't afford!"
"Ah, to hell with this!" Phil turned and threw the remote at the nearby trash can. It bounced off, and clattered to the ground. Roy felt his stomach drop.
"Phil, that's no way to act around the kids!" Liz stared a little harder.
"I'm sick of this marriage! You keep trying to control me, tell me what to do!" Phil picked up the remote again and more gently dropped the device in the garbage can. Roy felt a wave of despair as he lost sight of the remote. No, this couldn't possibly be happening! He can't lose the remote like this! He'll be trapped as a baby forever! He felt the emotion wash over him, and soon enough he was crying again, kicking and screaming.
"Shhh shhh. I'm here Susie, it's alright!" Roy found himself once again cradled in the arms of Anna. "Phil! Look what you've done to Susie!". He saw Phil storm back the other way, carrying a toolbox, and go out the front door. His wails only got louder.