Lincoln hated Christmas. He had since childhood. His parents split when Lincoln was 11, leaving him to basically fend for himself during the holidays. Some kids for two Christmases, but Lincoln barely got half. He hated the cold, hated the New England snow, hated presents, hated the same old Christmas specials on tv... basically, he learned at a young age to want nothing to do with anything Christmasy. To Lincoln, it was just a day in December.
Now more than a decade older and living independently for the first time in his life, Lincoln had the perfect plan for the holidays. He and his ladylove Zoe were going to fly to a resort in Mexico for the week of the 25th. Lincoln’s parents would never have to know, and Zoe had already celebrated Hanukkah with her family.
Lincoln was 24 and a recent college graduate. He stood a towering 6’3, and weighed about 190lb of muscles on a good day. His unkempt blonde hair and scruffy face made him look occasionally like a golden retriever, but sexy and... human. Really he was the picture of a modern American man, working a 9-to-5 in finance and making himself a decent paycheck. Decent enough to pay out of pocket for this vacation to say the least.
The plan was perfect, Lincoln got to spend the holiday the only way he enjoyed: without celebrating.
—— —— ——
Two days before the trip, Lincoln was packing his bags. He had pretty much everything he needed, although Zoe pointed out one flaw.
“Hey just a heads up, you're going to need flip flops or something for your feet. I’m pretty sure you won’t just want to wear sneakers on the beach.”
Lincoln knew she was right, so on December 21st, he went to a place he was already dreading: the local mall.
The mall was a wintery hellscape. A sign said “FOUR shopping days to Xmas!” and there were people running everywhere. Lincoln popped in his earphones and drowned out the Bing Crosby crooning through the loudspeakers. He walked through the mall to the footwear store, grabbed a pair of flip flops he liked and walked out. He would have gone to Mexico without a problem had he not paused for a second to look at sunglasses, something he didn’t need in the first place.
As he turned the rack, he noticed a large man with a round belly and a red coat staring at him. Lincoln looked at this discount Santa and scoffed. The man just stared at Lincoln, a twinkle in his eyes.
“Can I help you, buddy?” Lincoln asked.
The man stared at Lincoln and chuckled before speaking with a loud and deep voice. “I think I can help you instead, young lad. You seem to be lacking in the Christmas spirit!”
Lincoln blinked at the man. “Uh...”
“Your shoes aren’t very wintery!” The old man pointed at Lincoln’s recent purchase. Lincoln just stated at the Santa in confusion. The man tapped Lincoln’s bag with his hand a few times, then uttered another low chuckle to himself. “Let me tell you this much, I think you will realize that I’ve given you a far nicer Christmas than you had been asking for. You’ll be really in the spirit of the season this year, and I think I could use all the help I can get!”
Lincoln held back a laugh. This man was clearly senile. “Okay, Santa. I appreciate it. See you at the North Pole, asshole.” And with that, Lincoln left the mall.
—— —— ——
Sitting on his bed, Lincoln pulled his shoes out of the box and was fully pissed to find someone’s idea of a joke. Instead of Lincoln’s size 14 flip flops, he instead discovered little kid shoes, something for a kid no older than four. They were green, and decorated to look like a Christmas elf.
“Of fucking course” Lincoln said to himself. He threw the shoes in his trash can, deciding to fly without a pair of sensible shoes. As Zoe came into the room, she didn’t even notice the shoes.
“Why did you do that?” Zoe said.
Lincoln looked at her. “Oh, the shoes? I dunno, some prank or mix up or something at the mall. I’m just gonna dig around for an old pair I think.”
Zoe laughed and went up to Lincoln’s face, caressing his cheeks. “No, you shaved! It looks good, makes you look a lot younger.”
Lincoln’s own hand bolted up to his face. It was smoother than he had thought. Lincoln vaguely remembered shaving in the shower this morning, but he thought he just trimmed it up. Maybe he had gone deeper then he thought. He gets dazed like that sometimes.
“Uh... yeah! Just decided to I guess,” Lincoln said. He laughed and stood up next to Zoe.
Funny, Lincoln thought, she must be wearing heels or something. He could have sworn he was at least an inch or two closer in height to his 5’4 girlfriend. But who knows, could all just be an optical illusion.
Lincoln kissed his girlfriend and went out to the gym, a last work out before hitting the beach in only two days. As he grabbed his gym bag, Lincoln decided he probably needed to double up his usual routine. Not only would he be missing a few days with the traveling, but his bag felt heavier than usual too.