Ken stared at his neighbor, reduced from the epitome of handsome jockhood to a wimpy, pathetic nerd. What Ken failed to realize, however, was the immense danger he put himself in by being in such close proximity to Melvin. You see, the Chronivac had a bit of a side effect. If changes made to a person would fresh enough, they tended to radiate off of that person and affect those in the surrounding area, subjecting them to the same changes as the original target. By going over to mock the new Melvin, Ken has unknowingly condemned himself to the exact same nerdy fate.
Ken stood around with Melvin and entertained his ramblings about physics homework and Star Trek. God, he was such a dweeb. Ken didn’t know if there was anyone on earth who was as much of a speccy, dorky, clumsy, antisocial poindexter as Melvin Finklefart. But as he listened to Melvin. Something softened inside of Ken. Frank was a complete asshole, but that was completely gone with Melvin. He was innocent and, dare he say, kind of sweet? Ken shook his head. Who was he kidding? Melvin was rock-bottom on the social ladder. Nobody would be caught dead with him. But still, Ken himself was into Sci fi and fantasy, thought not nearly as much as Melvin. Maybe he could sympathize with the dork on some level.
Finally, something inside of Ken twinged, and he decided to show sympathy. “You know Melvin,” he said “I actually like the new Star Trek as well. I’ve been watching it for a while.” That wasn’t true, was it? Ken has never gone as far as fanboying Over Star Trek. But some part of his brain slowly trickled memories of the show into his conscience. Despite Ken never having watched an episode, character names started to echo in his head. Plotlines and reboots, he was starting to develop memories and opinions on all of them. And as, on the periphery of his vision a digital Star Trek wristwatch emerged, he knew he could assert and argue that Kirk was in fact better than Picard. What was going on?
Melvin talking snapped Ken back into reality “R-really? Well golly, that’s swell! I *sniff* havent met anyone at our school who watches Star Trek. This is super!”
You know, Melvin wasn’t that bad of a guy, Ken thought. Sure he was way more of a nerd than Ken had ever been, but couldn’t Ken relate? He had also been bullied by the football team (had he?), maybe Melvin was the one person he could relate to.
The two discussed Star Trek, and slowly Ken shifted a bit more. His t-shirt silently tucked itself into his jeans, and a black leather belt wrapped itself around his waist, with a Pokemon pin clipped on the front. Imperceptibly, Ken’s sneakers switched from laces to velcro. Then a bloating feeling came over him, as small amounts of pudge emerged around his body, including a now visible potbelly. This weight gain carried on to his face, which rounded out with boyish cheeks. His face also became oily, likely from the amount of junk food he seemed to remember eating, which would also explain the pudge. And his teeth shifted into the slightest bucktooth overbite, which displayed whenever his talks about Star Trek caused him to break out into a goofy smile. Though Melvin would never admit this, he found the overbite to be cute.
After talking about their love of The Original Series and debating the movie rankings, Ken gave Melvin another look. For the first time he could appreciate the depths of Melvin’s dorkiness. Ken no longer saw him as a complete outsider compared to Ken. He was more of the master of all the things Ken secretly loved himself. Melvin completely dominated Ken in his knowledge of all things nerdy. But lucky for him, Ken liked being dominated like this.
This was enough talking. Ken decided to invite Melvin over. “You know, Melvin, I don’t think I ever realized how cool you are.” This was the first time anyone had used Melvin’s name in the same sentence as the word “cool”. “My cousin works at Target and he got me a copy of the new Star Trek game early. Want to come over and try it out?”
Ken could tell by the look of surprise on Melvin’s face that this was probably the first time he had ever been invited to someone else’s house. But why shouldn’t Ken? Melvin was a complete loner in school, but didn’t Ken also stick to himself. Memories of his friends seemed to fade away, only vague faces and name. In their place, Ken was remembering the names of TV shows, movies, and video games that he seemed to remember. Didn’t he come home every day after school and engage himself with this media, chowing down on Doritos? His mind was hazy, but a voice kept telling him this was right. His brow furrowed, this headache was probably just his contacts acting up (Did he wear contacts??)
“Oh w-w-wow, the n-new Star Trek? G-gee whiz” Melvin stammered and fidgeted with his suspenders and tie. He hadn’t expected Ken to ask him over like this. “I-I mean if that’s okay with you mother I-I-I guess I could visit for a bit.”
Ken broke out in that same goofy bucktooth smile. “Neat-o” he said, inadvertently mimicking Melvin’s phrases. “My mom isn’t home right now, we can head over now.”
Ken walked Melvin over to his house and up to his room, giddy with glee the entire time. This was his chance to prove himself in front of Melvin Finklefart, and show that he was just as much of a gaming and sci fi expert as his former subject who was quickly becoming his close friend.
As Ken opened the door to his room, he saw anime and Sci fi posters on the wall, along with a bookcase full of fantasy and fiction written by all of his favorite authors. This all seemed completely right to him, a room that reflected the guy he was. Across from Ken’s bed (adorned with Star Trek bed sheets) sat a TV with the latest gaming console plugged in. In the corner of the room, the Chronivac whirred silently.
Ken invited Melvin to sit on the edge of his bed as he got the game ready. Once it was good to go, he handed a controller to Melvin and sat on the edge of the bed next to him.
“So this is a sequel to the one that came out a few years ago. I’ve played a bit of it, it’s pretty fun” Ken said.
“Alright, but I have to warn you” Melvin turned to look at Ken “I was *snort* pretty dang good at the last one. You could say I was a-a master.” He gave a crooked smile and cocked an eyebrow, trying to make some kind of joke with his awkward sense of humor. Still, Ken couldn’t help but laugh at Melvin’s joke, and it was no small laugh either. Ken broke out into a full-on guffaw, and by the end of it he was wheezing. Why did he find Melvin’s oddball humor so funny? And although he couldn’t remember, he felt like he snorted at least once during the laugh.
Ken started the game, and immediately he and Melvin were absorbed. Ken beat his opponent at first, just from virtue of having played the game already, but as they went on it became clear Melvin wasn’t lying about being a master. He quickly racked up win after win against Ken, who was enjoying himself nonetheless. He couldn’t explain why, but some part of him enjoyed this feeling. Getting constantly bested at his own game, humiliated even, it felt right. Ken may have enjoyed ever-so-slightly higher social standing than his geeky companion, but in the realm of nerd-dom Melvin was king, and Ken loved it. That voice again spoke to Ken, reminding him of how Melvin had come up to him during their freshman year, having noticed the Next Generation pin on his book bag and wanting to inquire into his love of the series. Ken’s head spinned as he recalled three years spent with Melvin after that fact. They attented premieres, waited for midnight releases, and went to conventions together, and everyone could clearly see that although he was slightly more outspoken, Melvin was the active voice in the friendship. Every niche piece of media, foreign release or limited run, Melvin had been the one to show it to Ken. He was a nerd genius the likes of which Ken could hardly keep up with, and he loved it. Ken found himself so inseparably attached to Melvin, his closest and truest friend. And although he had never told this to anyone, Ken felt something more for Melvin. As the two sat on Ken’s bed playing the game, Ken slowly scooted closer to his friend.
Finally “Player 2 wins” flashed on the screen, signaling that Melvin had indeed bested Ken.
“Well, w-what did I say?” Melvin turned to look at Ken, who had changed considerably over the half hour they were playing, though neither realized it. Ken’s jeans had changed into black slacks, and his t shirt had shifted to show the cast of Star Trek: Discovery. His contacts had become proper thick-framed horn-rimmed glasses, at least an inch thick. His hair had turned a ginger color, like Melvin’s, and it had been severely gelled and combed into an almost impossible square combover shape, cleanly parted except for a cowlick standing up in the back. Ken’s face had become even rounder, and he now had prominent freckles across his oily cheeks, which heightened the boyish look of his dorky smile that Melvin couldn’t get enough of.
“Hey, I would never want to *hyuk* doubt the all-knowing Grand Master Melvin” Ken delivered the attempt at a joke with the same awkward flair as Melvin’s earlier joke. Still, it caused Melvin to break out into the nerdiest snort-laugh he had ever heard.
Ken couldn’t help but smile. Melvin was such a total goober, but that’s what made him a good match for Ken’s own dorkiness. As he listened to Melvin hyuk and haw, he felt the voice push him again.
Go on, you want this. You’re attracted to this. You want the total unappealing loserness of Melvin Finklefart on your body, because you like it. And Ken couldn’t deny it. From the beginning, he knew he felt something more for Melvin, but his timid nature had paralyzed him from action for two years. But with a sudden unexpected determination, Melvin knew what he had to. He pushed his glasses up, patted his gelled hair into shape, and looked Melvin straight in the eyes
“You know, Melv,” Ken called him an awkward nickname, “I’m real glad you could come over today.”
“Oh no, friend-o, the pleasure is all mine” Melvin retorted, “ you are a *snort* diligent host as always.”
“Thanks-a-million buddy. But I, uh, had s-something else I wanted to ask you to-today” Ken’s face went bright red and he started to stammer.
“I’m glad we’ve been friends for years now. But I have to say I’ve always thought you were a swell guy. Like real swell, if you understand my lingo.”
“Wow Ken.” Melvin turned bright red and fidgeted with his pocket protecter. “Well I-I must admit, the *snort* the feeling is m-mutual.” And his eyes locked with Ken’s.
The two nerds sat in total silence, neither one daring to make the next move. It was the dorkiest, most palpable tension, only capable of two dweebs of their scale. The Chronivac continued to watch silently.
Finally, Ken was caught by one last wave of confidence, and he slowly leaned over to Melvin.
And he kissed him.
And kissed him again.
And finally pulled Melvin on top of him.
The two unleaded all their repressed antisocial teenage hormones in the most awkward, fumbling makeout session of all time. And as Melvin thrust his tongue into Ken’s mouth and ran his hands over Ken’s pudgy body, Ken was pushed to the height of his transformation. His t-shirt spun into a deep green plaid dress shirt, buttoning itself up along his now more rotund torso. Over the top of this appeared a sweater in brown argyle, and a dinky red polka dot bow tie tied itself around his collar. Ken’s glasses got thicker, his ears bigger, and he could feel his nasal cavities tighten, pushing him towards a high-pitched nasally voice. His room shifted from a fanboy’s den to all-out geek HQ. every inch of the walls were plastered with Sci fi posters of all kinds. His TV turned into a gaming afficionado’s master rig, and his walls grew shelves that adorned themselves with knick-knacks, action figures, and Funkos of all sorts... and also, hidden under his bed, a Pavel Chekov body pillow. Ken was now the ultimate nerd. Well, second only to his now-boyfriend Melvin (Ken got giddy thinking about that word).
His wristwatch beeped, and the transformation was sealed. Ken sat up and looked at Melvy (as he liked to call him) laying there.
“Gee whiz Ken, I have to say you have make me the luckiest guy on the planet.”
Ken broke out into his goofy buck tooth smile again. “Aw golly, Melv. I’m real chuffed to hear that. But you know you can call me Kenny. Kenny Doinkberg.”
The two perfectly matched nerds scuffed their feet, neither one sure of what move to make next.
“Well w-what do you wanna do now?” Asked Melvin.