The two stared at each other for a moment, Brian with a look on his face as if he enjoyed the view that his friend was giving him, yet, at the same time, one that suggested he was feeling he had over-stepped some boundary, whilst Jason, who was suddenly having trouble thinking of herself as anything but Eli, was torn between telling Brian to get out or shrug it off that her friend had walked in on her and instead continuing with finding something to wear. The moment passing, Eli quickly self-consciously and subconsciously crossed a hand over her chest. Reaching over to her bed, she extracted one of the over-sized baseball-style shirts she liked to wear.
As she pulled it over her head, Eli listened as Brian nervously laughed and said, "You're acting really weird. I mean. It's not like we haven't seen each other naked before. Well. I suppose you have seen me naked. Not since we were kids. You know what. Um. Never mind. I'll be downstairs," and as she pushed her arms through the three-quarter length sleeves, Brian spun about and practically fled back the way he'd come.
"Is this what my life is to be like?" Eli asked herself as she located a pair of faded skater jeans and a pair of panties. Pulling them on, conflicted with how tight the jeans were, how she felt she look good in them, and the fact that she was wearing what was clearly girl's clothing as if it was something she did naturally and not because she had somehow been turned into a teenage girl, Eli buttoned up the front. Wondering, "Are girls really this self-conscious about their bodies, especially when they are naked?" before deciding that she needed to say something to Brian.
About to head back downstairs, she stopped and glanced back at the pile of clothes. Staring at them, she thought how, when she had been a boy, she wouldn't have minded leaving the stuff piled on the bed until she shifted them onto her desk to be picked through as needed, crammed into the dresser, or put away by her mother. But now. Now it didn't feel right to leave them there. Returning to the bed, she proceeded to sort, fold, and put away the garments in their appropriate location, stopping long enough to take a bra out of the dresser, pull her arms out of the sleeves of her shirt, then pull on the bra. Adjusting her breasts so they rested comfortably inside the cups, liking how the soft material felt nice pressed against the sore and tender parts of flesh, Eli pulled back on her shirt and headed out of her room.
And immediately detoured into the upstairs bathroom. Inside, she clicked on the bathroom and stared at her reflection. Running a hand through her short hair, what she remembered her dad constantly called a crew-cut, what was on top of her head longer that which was on the side of her head, she noted the holes in her ears, piercings her mother had insisted she get and had, at first, disliked having her ears pierced, but now didn't mind, and the round, feminine face that, along with the haircut, could either be the face of tomboy or a young boy. Liking how she looked, Eli thought of the way Brian had reacted, both when he had shown up whilst she had been making dinner and when he had accidentally walked in on her when she had been changing out of the ridiculous dress, which she thought she had only put on because she had need clean clothes. Chastising herself for not having done her laundry before she had gone to bed last night, "Or asked mom if she could," Eli decided it was her own fault for not having anything to wear after she had come home after soccer practice and taken a shower without first making sure she had something to change into.
Something about this train of thought bothered her and as she continued to study her tomboy features, it slowly came back to her that it wasn't exactly right. That when she had come home from soccer practice, she had been a boy. And that she had only turned into a girl sometime afterward. Conflicted by this, feeling it was both accurate and inaccurate, that she had always been a girl, yet that, a couple hours ago, she had been a boy, she gritted her teeth and told herself, "Prove it. If you were a boy, what was your name?"
Drawing a blank, Eli stared into the mirror and thought, "Donald? Andy? James? Thomas? George? Lonnie? Patrick? Nathan? Leon?"
None of these names, or any other males name that came to mind, felt right and after a moment, she stepped back from the mirror. Turning away, she walked over to the toilet and sitting down on the seat, Eli wrapped her arms around her torso and leaned forward until her elbows rested on her knees. Certain that, no matter how weird it sounded, that she had been a boy mere hours ago, she tried to remember who she had been before she had become Charlotte May Elizabeth. Looking over at the rolling cart her mom kept stocked with feminine hygiene stuff, she absently reached for two boxes that her mom insisted that she would eventually need and sometimes used herself
One box being an item called panties liners, whilst the other contained pads, she read what was printed on both without taking a word in. Recalling back on the conversation her mother had had with her six, seven, eight months ago, "About three months after my twelfth birthday," when she had started developing breast buds and that she would need to start wearing bras, she then thought, "No. This is something mom would talk with my sister about. Not me," then stopped as she found this to be silly, as she did not have a sister.
Suddenly alarmed by this, Eli tossed the boxes back where she had gotten and stood. Clicking off the bathroom light, she muttered, "I'm sure I have a sister. She's older than me, by about four years," but found herself doubting even this as she exited the bathroom and headed to what her mind insisted was a spare room, yet, at the same time, she could faintly recall being the room of an older girl.
For a brief moment, she fumbled to find the light switch and when she finally located it and turned it on, she stared at the room and breathed a sigh of relief. Still decorated sparsely, Eli stared at the bed, which would be made if they had guests, the dresser that had the drawers open a smidge, and the few tasteful decorations her mom had hung on the walls. Turning off the light, she smiled and reasoned, "If I do not have a sister, then I certainly wasn't a boy a couple hours ago," and turning away, she told herself, "I mean. I may act like a boy. But I do not want to be one. And I am happy being an only child, even if, sometimes, I do wonder what it would be like to have a sibling, often an older one," and trying to believe this, as this line of reasoning seemed the most likely, Eli stared downstairs.
But still troubled, sure she had missed something, or that something had been taken from her, she tried to figure out what it was that had changed. Sniffing, smelling the dinner she had started preparing before going to change, she headed for the kitchen, deciding to talk to Brian, to assure him it was no big deal that he had walked in on her. Stepping into the kitchen, spotting her friend by the stove, stirring the contents of the saucepan, she was about to say something when he glanced over and announced, "Hey. You know your kitchen phone is missing."