Driving down to the park where Freddy and Josh used to play as kids, Freddy had trouble finding his brother at first.
“I hope he didn’t run off” Freddy grumbled, as he found a spot to park in and got out of his car.
Looking around, he noticed that the place hadn’t changed much over the years. It was better maintained than it was in the past, with government money going towards improving it, but for the most part, it was how he always remembered it.
Sometimes, Freddy felt remorseful that he didn’t take Evan here more often. When they went to play outside, they generally went to a different park another town over because it had a soccer field. However, this place had many memories in Freddy’s mind; both good and bad.
Looking around, Freddy started to worry, before he spotted Josh sitting on a park bench.
“Josh!” Freddy yelled, as he made his way over to his brother.
His brother had been here since he had called him a few minutes earlier. Despite getting nasty glances from joggers and dog walkers, Josh ignored the judgmental eyes and waited for his big brother to get him. He planned to stay here for only an hour. If Freddy hadn’t shown up, then he would have assumed that he was unwanted and would find a place to sleep on the street. Fortunately for him, Freddy came to his rescue.
“There you are” Freddy said, as he stood over Josh. “Let’s go.”
Josh hesitantly got up and slowly began to walk. Seeing a sadness in his brother’s eyes, Freddy extended his hand, which Josh reluctantly took.
“It’ll be ok” Freddy said, trying to be reassuring. “Just come with me.”
“They’re not going to take me in” Josh replied “but I’ll come with you. I trust you, Freddy.”
“You should. I’m your big brother and I’ll always be there for you.”
Josh nodded, as the two brothers made their way to Freddy’s car. Once inside, Josh stared out the window, as Freddy took the drive out of town towards their parent’s apartment complex.
“I haven’t been driven around in a car like this in many years” Josh said, as he continued looking at the various sights in town.
“Oh?” Freddy asked curiously. “Then how’d you get up here?”
“I took a bus.”
“Well then somebody drove you.”
“It’s not the same, Freddy. I meant someone driving just me, not being packed on a crowded bus with everyone and their mother.”
“Hey Josh, listen, everything is going to be alright, ok? I’m glad you came to me and asked me for help. I know it must not have been easy for you to do it, so I’m going to do everything I can to help you get off the street and onto your feet.”
“You didn’t have to help me, you know.”
“I know, but I wanted to. I love you.”
“Ugh, don’t get all sentimental on me, Freddy. I’m not worth it.”
“Josh, don’t say that. You’re a good person. You’ve just had a lot of issues in your life. Not everybody understands that. Every person down on their luck has a story to tell. I saw it every day when I was public defender. There were so many people I represented who reminded me of you.”
“Useless drug addicts that everyone in society hates and wishes were dead?”
“Don’t say that, Josh. You’re sounding too much like Michael.”
“Well he’s right. I am a good for nothing loser. Everybody thinks so.”
“No they don’t. For one, I don’t think so.”
“That’s nice of you, Freddy, but you’re only saying that because you’re my brother.”
“Josh, let’s try to talk about something positive, ok?”
Freddy tried to put a hand on Josh’s lap, but was rebuffed from doing so.
“Don’t do that” Josh said, as he flicked Freddy’s hand away. “I don’t like that.”
“Sorry” Freddy replied earnestly, as he put his hand back on the steering wheel and continued to drive to their parent’s complex.
Josh’s chaotic high school years took its toll on Freddy’s parents. His bad behavior, constant arrests and lack of prospects in life grayed both Douglas and Linda Benson at a slightly premature age. The stress emotionally weakened them, leaving them unable to enjoy life for a long time.
When Josh dropped out of high school at sixteen, his parents gave him a stark choice. Either he needed to re-enroll back in high school, get a job or leave their house. Not wanting to be told what to do, Josh packed his meager belongings and moved out of the house.
Life on the streets was tough for Josh. He barely struggled to survive the first year of homelessness in their town. Freddy’s parents, upset at seeing their son in this condition every time they went into town, tried to ask the authorities for help. All that did was see Josh arrested multiple times for pretty crimes like theft and property damage.
Feeling resentful about his parents making his life on the streets even harder than it already was, Josh turned to drugs to deal with the pain of his situation. With harder crack downs by concerned residents making such drug use harder to maintain, Josh had another stark choice to make. Either he had to get clean or leave the town he grew up in. Not wanting to be boxed in, Josh took his meager belongings, paid for a cheap bus ticket and made his way down to the city of angels.
In Los Angeles, Josh had lost touch with his parents, not that he cared. Freddy’s parents spent a whole year trying to track down their son, who did not bring his cell phone with him. Finally, Josh’s parents managed to find him amongst a group of artists and asked him to come home. Josh refused at the time, saying he wanted to make it in show business.
Josh had hoped to start working in Hollywood. He didn’t care what he did, just as long as he could be making art and get paid for it. He took odd jobs here and there, working as a PA for one day on a set of a television show, before getting fired for pissing off the main actress. He tried his hand at post production, but found he wasn’t very good at it. He also tried being a personal assistant to a rocker he greatly admired, but found out by working for him that he was a huge dick. Josh never could hold down a job, leading him into further despair.
Throughout his years of struggle, Josh made no efforts to contact his parents or Freddy. He didn’t want them in his life and they gave up trying to reach him. That’s why it greatly upset Freddy’s parents so much when they saw Josh show up at their front door that day.
Driving into the apartment complex, Josh took the scenery in.
“I’ve never seen this place before” Josh said, as he took in the views of the complex. “When did mom and dad move here?”
“Pretty much as soon as you moved out and left for LA” Freddy replied, as he found a parking spot and put his car in park. “I was already living on my own, so they didn’t really see a need to pay for and maintain a house anymore. Once you were trying to chase your dreams in show business, they just wanted to downsize.”
“Interesting.”
Josh got out of the car, as Freddy looked for some items in his glove compartment. When he managed to find them, he got out of the car and put a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“Ready?” Freddy asked.
“I guess” Josh replied nervously,
The two brothers made their way into the apartment complex and down to a forked hallway.
“They’re down that way” Freddy pointed out to Josh, as he led him to the elevator bank.
Pushing the up button, Freddy took Josh up to the second floor and made their way down the hall. A number of apartments down on the left, at a door marked 2B, was where their parents lived. Freddy rang the bell and waited for a moment. Josh stood silently next to him, nervous about what might happen when his parents opened the door.
“Who is it?” Freddy’s father asked from the other side of the door.
“Dad, it’s me” Freddy replied.
“Freddy! I wasn’t expecting to see you. I—“
As Freddy’s father opened the door, he spotted his son standing next to his other son; one he hadn’t seen in fifteen years. Immediately deducing who it was, Freddy’s father shut the door and locked it on the other side.
“Dad?” Freddy asked, as he quietly tapped on the door. “Dad, come on. Open the door, please. We need to talk.”
“I knew we shouldn’t have come here” Josh said, as he tried to turn back to the elevators.
“Don’t.”
Freddy grabbed Josh’s arm, pulling him back to his side.
“Who was that dear?” Freddy’s mother asked on the other end of the door.
“Nobody” Freddy’s father replied on the other end of the door. “Nobody at all.”
“Mom” Freddy called out. “It’s me, Freddy.”
“Oh Freddy” his mother replied. “I—“
When Freddy’s mother opened the door, she saw Josh standing next to him and immediately crinkled her nose.
“Hi mom. How are you doing today?”
“Freddy, who is that standing next to you?”
“Freddy, let’s not do this right now” Josh said, as he tried to turn away again, stopped by Freddy’s powerful grasp on his arm.
“Stop. Mom, Josh is back in town.”
Freddy’s mother face showed a mix of emotions; anger, worry, fear, disgust, resignation. This was not who his mother was hoping to see this afternoon. After so many years of distance, she just pretended that Josh was dead, rather than own up to how his life had turned out. Being reminded of her son’s existence infuriated her and she was not happy to see him standing there, to say the least. Still, she knew how to compose herself in stressful situations, so she coughed and went to whisper in Freddy’s ear.
“Can we talk privately?” she asked. “Without him here?”
“Can we come in, mom?” Freddy asked.
“No!” Freddy’s father beamed out. “I will not have that—“
“Shh!” Freddy’s mother hushed at her husband. “Quiet! We don’t want to attract the attention of the neighbors.”
“Whatever, just tell him that Josh isn’t welcome here and to get lost.”
Freddy’s father went inside, as his mother looked at him with an intensely serious expression on her face.
"Privacy, Freddy?" his mother asked.
Nervously, Freddy looked at his brother.
"I'll wait by the elevators" Josh said, as he walked out of their sight.
When they were alone, Freddy's mother spoke up.
“Freddy?” she asked. “Why is he here?”
“Josh came into to town because he got sober and wants to try to stay clean” Freddy replied. “He’s moved away from LA and wants to try to start a new life here. He’s been living on the street and needs a place to stay. I was hoping you two could host him for a while.”
“Freddy, dear, we really can’t put Josh up. Condo rules and all.”
“Mom, it’ll just be for a couple of days until Josh’s number is called on the housing lottery and then he’ll be out of your hair for good. He’s fallen on hard times and just needs a place to crash so he’s off the street.”
“Freddy, we can’t do it. We’re sorry, but no.”
“Mom, aren’t you concerned that Josh might fall off the wagon again if he continues to be homeless?”
“Freddy.”
Freddy’s mother sighed, as she looked at him in a serious way.
“Freddy” she continued “for the longest time, your father and I have just lived our lives pretending that Josh was already dead. We figured that, even if he hadn’t died of an overdose yet, he was bound to eventually, so it was only a matter of when, not if. We tried for years to help your brother out, but he refused to listen to us.”
“He’s willing to listen now, mom” Freddy replied. “Please mom. Please help him out here.”
“Freddy, we can’t do it anymore. We tried so much, that we just gave up. If he had come back a few years ago, we may have been amenable to letting him stay here with us and helping him get on his feet. But Freddy, we’re not getting any younger here. Your father is already over seventy and I’ll be hitting that magic number soon too. We just don’t have the energy to deal with this anymore. We’re old and want to enjoy our final years together in peace. We don’t want to have this added burden ruin what should be an enjoyable final years of our lives.”
“But mom, aren’t you considered about Josh giving up on his sobriety or killing himself?”
“If you’re that concerned about it, then why don’t you host him?”
“I would, mom, but I can’t. Michael won’t allow him to stay in our house.”
“I wonder why” Freddy’s mother replied sarcastically, as she rolled her eyes.
“Mom, don’t act like Michael here. He’s your flesh and blood.”
“Well, he’s right to want to protect your son, Freddy. I just wish you would see that we need to be protected too. Besides, once we pass away, who does Josh really have anyway? Who would miss him if he goes?”
“Mom!”
“Calm down, Freddy.”
“No, you listen to me. I care about Josh and I don’t want to see him go. He’s my brother and I love him. When you’re long gone, I’ll still be around and I want to be able to have him there for me as I get older.”
“You have Michael. Isn’t that enough?”
“How can you say this about your own son, mom? What kind of person would say this kind of thing about their own child?”
“Freddy, we’re obviously not getting anywhere in this conversation, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Mom, please listen to me.”
“Freddy, we’re not kicking you out, but we’re not letting Josh in here either. Once he enters, it’ll be almost impossible to get rid of him. We really don’t want to have to spend years going through the courts in order to force his eviction. We can’t take the stress, Freddy. We’re too old for this now.”
“Mom, I’m warning you now. If Josh falls off the wagon and dies because you wouldn’t let him stay with you, then you’ll have to live with that on your conscious for the rest of your life.”
“We’ll live, Freddy. We’ve done it for so many years now. At this point, we just assumed that your brother was already dead. All hearing about it would do is confirm what we already believed would inevitably happen.”
“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”
“Is Josh still out there?!” Freddy’s father asked loudly.
“Freddy, come on” Josh called out, as he continued to stand by the elevators. “Let’s not put them through any more aggravation. Let’s go.”
“Listen to your brother, Freddy!”
“Shhh!” Freddy’s mother hushed. “Stop making so much noise.”
Freddy’s mother looked at him and tried to give him a kiss, which was rebuffed. Feeling hurt, Freddy’s mother clasped on the door and made her refusal to host Josh final.
“I wish you luck in finding a place to put up your brother, but it’s not going to be here. I’m sorry, Freddy. We can’t do this anymore. You’re welcome to come back here anytime, as we don’t get to see you or Michael or our grandson nearly enough. However, as long as you keep bringing your brother with you, we won’t let you in.”
“You’ll regret this” Freddy said, as his mother began to close the door.
“Doubt it. Bye Freddy. I love you very much.”
Freddy’s mother closed the door, as he stared at it angrily. Lost in his feelings of rage, he only just heard the elevator door open, as he turned to see Josh entering it without him.
“Wait!” Freddy yelled, as he ran to catch the closing elevator door.
Freddy stuck his hand out and forced it to reopen. Josh groaned, as Freddy got inside and gave his brother a hug.
“Don’t listen to them” Freddy said. “They’re just being difficult because they are old. Seniors lose their filters and say shit they don’t mean.”
“You mean what they actually feel” Josh replied, as he let go of his brother’s embrace. “Listen, Freddy, I appreciate you trying to help me out, but there’s nothing else you can do. I knew they wouldn’t let me stay and since Michael won’t let you put me up, there’s really nothing else I can do but sleep on the street.”
“No, Josh! I won’t let you do it.”
“What are you going to do, Freddy? There’s no place left for me to go.”
As the elevator door opened, Josh sprinted out, which caused Freddy to chase after him and grab on to him tightly.
“Get off of me, Freddy” Josh said insistently, as he struggled to break free of his brother’s grasp. “Let me go.”
“Not until you promise me you’ll stop trying to run away from me” Freddy replied, as he put more pressure on his grip on his brother.
“You can’t make me stay. I’m an adult and I can do what I want to do. You obviously can’t help me, so why are you even bothering anymore?”
“Because I can help you, Josh. You just have to let me try harder.”
“Don’t bother, Freddy. No one wants me around anymore. I know when I’m not wanted.”
“I want you! I love you and I’m begging you not to leave!”
Freddy let go of his grasp, as he began to sob hysterically. Josh quietly looked at his brother, feeling increasingly nervous, as he scanned the hall to see if the coast was clear.
“Let’s take this outside” Josh said, as he made his way to the entrance of the complex. “I don’t want people seeing you like this…or seeing me.”
Freddy continued to sob, as he walked with his brother outside. Once they made their way to the car, Freddy signaled to his brother to enter his vehicle.
“We’re far away from town now” Freddy insisted, as his tears began to let up. “If you try to walk back, it’ll take you a day at least, maybe two.”
“I can manage” Josh said, as he tried to walk away, before Freddy grabbed on to him tightly.
“Let me at least drive you into town. It’ll save you the long walk back, at least.”
Josh sighed, as he followed Freddy into his car. When he drove off, Freddy made a scenic detour, before Josh noticed this change of direction.
“Where are we going?” Josh asked nervously. “I don’t remember you taking this route on the way over here.”
“It’s a shortcut” Freddy convincingly lied in response. “Trust me on this.”
Josh shrugged, as Freddy continued to drive. After half an hour, Josh spoke again.
“This is taking too long, Freddy. Pull over the car.”
“No.”
“Pull over the car, Freddy.”
“No. Not unless you promise me that you won’t get out and leave if I do.”
“Freddy, you can’t keep me prisoner in your own car.”
“Josh, please just trust me on this, ok?”
“What are you doing? Are we even taking a shortcut?”
“Josh…”
Freddy pulled over the car and placed it in park. He quickly adjusted a setting on his car to make sure that his brother couldn’t unlock the door and let himself out. Josh noticed this when he attempted to open the door, to no avail.
“Let me out, Freddy.”
“No. Not until you hear me out first.”
“I don’t need to hear any more of your pep talks, Freddy. Let me go now.”
“Josh.”
Josh smacked his brother across the face, which caused Freddy to recoil in horror. Immediately feeling guilty, Josh attempted to apologize, while his brother gently rubbed his cheek.
“Freddy, I didn’t mean to do that. I’m so sorry.”
“Josh, I’m vert angry with you right now and I’m using every bit of strength I have not to lash out at you at this very moment. I’m holding back from lashing out because my overriding fear is that you’ll run out of this car and I’ll never see you again.”
“Why do you care? No one else does.”
“Because I love you very much and I don’t want to see you die. I want you to be around for me, Josh. I need you to be here.”
“I haven’t been there for you for all these years, now. What makes today different?”
“Because you’re here now and the past is the past. Let’s try to move forward and turn your life around. Please. Please let me help you.”
“You’ve tried helping me, Freddy, but there’s nothing else you can do. You’ve seen the reaction I get from other people. No one cares about me.”
“I care about you and if you live for any reason at all, even if you don’t care about your own life, then at least stay alive for me. I cannot, and will not, allow you to die so young. Not as long as I have anything to say about it. And despite what he says, Michael doesn’t want you to die young either.”
“If he cared that much about me, then he’d let me stay with you guys.”
“He’s just worried about you slipping back into drugs and getting Evan hooked on them. Our son doesn’t exactly come from good stock.”
“Freddy, what else can you possibly do for me? If you can’t host me and our parents refuse to put me up, then what else is there left to do?”
“I’ll pay for your fucking rent, Josh!”
“What?”
A silence fell over the car, as Freddy signaled to his brother to hand over his communication device. Reluctantly, Josh handed it over and Freddy began to search for apartments on the web.
“If no one else will put you up, then I will pay for you to have a place to stay until you get called on the housing lottery or you can make enough money to afford your own place.”
“Freddy, you don’t have to do this.”
“That’s not true, Josh. I have to do this. I don’t have another choice. Ideally, I’d have preferred that someone put you up for a while, but since that’s not possible, it’s the only other choice I have. I refuse to let you sleep on the streets anymore, especially since you said you’ve been sober for over a year now. You aren’t lying to me, right Josh?”
“No, Freddy. I’m telling you the truth.”
“So then I want to make sure it stays that way. Ah, here’s someone.”
Freddy found a listing for an apartment not too far from him, where the landlord took payments on the lease in yearly increments. Contacting the owner, Freddy was able to come to an amenable agreement.
“That settles that then” Freddy said, when he ended the call with the landlord. “You have a place to stay for the year.”
“Freddy, you didn’t have to do that for me.”
“I had to, Josh. I had no other choice.”
“You could have let me stay on the streets.”
“I couldn’t live with myself if I let that happen to you.”
Freddy gave his brother a quick hug, before he turned the car back on and drove towards Josh’s new apartment.
“While you should work on finding a job in the meantime” Freddy said on the drive over “if I win the race for mayor this year, then I promise you I will give you a job in my administration.”
“How come I can’t work for you now?” Josh asked.
“Because I don’t have any money to pay for anyone at the moment, though Michael is working on that. I’m also concerned about dragging you into this race. The mayor is a nasty son of a bitch. He will say all sorts of horrible things about you if I hired you to work for me and so will the vultures in the media. You don’t need that right now, especially since we’re trying to keep you sober.”
“I guess you’re right.”
The rest of the drive over was silent, before the apartment was spotted off in the distance.
“There it is” Freddy said, as he drove up to the building.
Getting out of the car with Josh, the two brothers made their way over to the landlord, who was standing there expecting their arrival.
“Payment?” the landlord asked gruffly.
“Can I borrow your device?” Freddy asked.
“Why? You don’t have one? How can I know you have any money if you have no communication device?”
“I lost mine. I have to get another one.”
“Why don’t you use mine? Josh suggested.
“I don’t trust you with my financial information, ok?
Josh sighed, as the landlord handed over his communication device. A few short clicks later and the rent was paid for one whole year.
“Don’t use this for anything other than rent payments” Freddy said, when he handed the communication device back the to the landlord.
“And any damage or incidentals that may occur” the landlord added gruffly.
Freddy sighed, as he gave his brother a big hug.
“The landlord will show you up to your room” Freddy said, as he smiled at his brother. “Stay safe. Stay clean. I’ll call you when I have a new communication device. If you have an absolute emergency, call Michael, but please don’t call him unless it’s absolutely urgent. I’m trying to keep the peace in my household. Please help me do this.”
“Thank you Freddy” Josh replied. “This means so much to me. I promise to get my life together and make you proud of me.”
“I’m sure you will. I have faith in you, Josh.”
Freddy waved goodbye, as he got back into his car. He felt happy that Josh finally had a roof over his head, after a big up front payment to the landlord. He didn’t know how Michael would feel about this arrangement, but there was no other choice. Hopefully, his husband would see this as well.
Making his way home, Freddy parked in the driveway and entered the house. He saw Michael sitting on the couch, helping Evan with his homework.
“You’re back late” Michael noted, as he got up and kissed Freddy on the lips. “How did it go?”
“They wouldn’t host him” Freddy replied nervously.
“Surprise, surprise.”
“Hi papa” Evan said, as he looked up at Freddy.
“Hi Evan” Freddy replied, as he smiled and gave his son a kiss on the forehead. “How was school today?”
“Better, but still not great. The kids in my class are still being mean.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully it’ll get better soon.”
“I hope so, too. Say, is that big scary man still here or did he finally leave?”
“That’s my brother, Evan. Your uncle Josh.”
“That was uncle Josh?”
“Freddy” Michael interrupted, as he put a hand on his husband’s shoulder. “Let’s talk upstairs.”
Freddy sighed, as he made his way up to their bedroom. Once inside, Michael confronted him about his brother’s appearance.
“So if your parents didn’t put him up, then where did he go? Where is he now?”
“I found an apartment for him” Freddy replied, with a tinge of anxiety in his voice.
“I didn’t think he had enough money to afford a place of his own.”
“He didn’t.”
“So then how did he get a place so fast? Was his number called on the lottery already?”
“I put him up in an apartment and paid for it.”
“You what?!?!?”
“Michael, calm down.”
“Where do you think that money is going to coming from? If you’re going to spend our money like that, then you needed to consult with me first before putting down such a large amount of cash on an apartment for your good for nothing brother.”
“Michael, knock it off. Enough trashing my brother. I’ve heard more than enough of it today.”
“So I’m assuming your parents shunned him too.”
“Yes, Michael, and I don’t need you to pile on with them.”
“There’s a reason they did that, Freddy.”
“Michael, enough.”
A silence fell across the room, before Freddy spoke up again.
“I used my own money to pay for Josh’s apartment, on an account that we don’t share. You didn’t have to pay a cent for it, even though it would have been nice to help me out on this one. Considering you wouldn’t let him stay with us and how much money you have in your bank account, it would have been a nice gesture on your end to help me out with this.”
“It wasn’t my problem to deal with. However, so long as it’s your money going towards it and not mine, then I don’t really care.”
Michael sighed, as he confessed his true feelings to Freddy.
“I admit it, Freddy. A part of me would have felt like absolute shit if something had happened to your brother because I said he couldn’t stay. However, you know that my concerns about Evan were legitimate, don’t you?”
“Yes. That’s why I didn’t put my foot down on this and force you to let Josh stay with us. Even though I held my feelings in when we hosted your father at our apartment years ago, I realize this is different, so we had to keep him away.”
“I just hope he finally gets his act together, Freddy. I don’t want your extreme show of generosity to be taken for granted as money thrown down the toilet.”
Michael kissed Freddy and Freddy kissed him back.
“You’re a good man, Freddy. It’s one of the many things that makes you the perfect husband.”
Freddy smiled brightly, as Michael exited their bedroom and went back downstairs to continue helping Evan with his homework. Sitting on the bed, Freddy lost himself in his head. He was happy that Josh was finally off the street, at a considerable personal cost. Despite the financial hit, it was worth it for Freddy to feel that he did what he could to help his baby brother out in his time of need. He hoped Josh would turn his life around this time, just as he hoped his own personal fortunes would change.
“Michael’s meeting with Diya is coming up next week” Freddy thought to himself. “I hope it goes well.”
When Michael met Diya….