Kyle hears a regular, repetitive beeping noise. Slowly, he opens his eyes and finds himself stretched out on his back in a tissue-thin hospital gown in a private hospital room. The beeping is coming from a monitor that's attached by cables and wires to different locations on Kyle's elderly body.
He's aware of a flash of green and moves his head to glance to the side at his leprechaun master wearing a proper green suit seated in a chair next to the bed. The red-haired elf regards him with dark, suspicious eyes and straightens his green tie.
"Are you awake, boyo?"
Kyle tried to speak, but found his mouth extremely dry. He coughed and heard a raspy noise deep in his lungs.
The leprechaun laughed. "Boyo might be stretching it a wee bit, eh?" The malevolent sprite smirked. "So, you found a portal, did ye?"
Kyle remembered details... the cabbage patch, the glowing fissure in time and space, being trapped as a 10-year-old boy!
He tried to lift a hand and point accusingly at the leprechaun, but even that simple effort proved too much for Kyle's weakened condition.
"And now you're an old codger in his dotage, I warrant you," the leprechaun remarked accurately and disdainfully.
"I did warn you," the leprechaun continued. "Time, it doesn't work the same in your world as it does in mine. You need special spells to use me portals, boyo."
Kyle's parched lips moved almost invisibly.
"What?" The leprechaun leaned closer.
"Water..."
"Whatever ye want, boyo," the sprite said and moved a glass to Kyle's ancient face. Kyle opened his mouth and sipped some of the water and immediately began strangling and coughing.
"Easy does it, boyo. I'd hate for you to keel over from simply trying to drink a glass of water."
The creature rose and stood next to the bed. With a grin, the leprechaun used a hand to lift the thin hospital gown. Whistling in dismay, the leprechaun declared, "Boyo, you're even less impressive now than when you had that tiny nub dangling between your legs as me houseboy."
The water strengthened him slightly. "They said I am 90 years old!"
The leprechaun laughed. "No, no. Not ninety."
Kyle felt a second of relief before the leprechaun snatched it away. "The way you measure years, you traveled 102 years from my world to this one. Let's see now... you were 10 when you left... I guess that makes you 112."
Kyle's face paled, if that was possible considering the parchment-like nature of his skin.
"I reckon a soft breeze could finish you off," the leprechaun said, snapping stubby fingers. "Just like that!"
Kyle's watery green eyes widened. "Help me," he coughed. "Give me back my body."
"I tell you what, boyo. You make it through the weekend and I'll think about making you my wee houseboy again."
Kyle wanted to shout and protest, but he feared he might overwork his heart. "You...promise?"
"I give ye me word as a gentleman, boyo."
Kyle sighed and sank back in the bed. "Saints preserve you, you old geezer," the leprechaun taunted. "By the way, I hear there's a nasty bug going around."
Kyle would have lost his temper at that point, but the leprechaun sort of faded in a swirl of sparkling green lights. Kyle coughed softly only for the episode to turn into a coughing fit that caused some of the monitors to beep alarmingly.
"That...fucking... leprechaun..." Kyle cursed feebly.