"Hello everyone and welcome to a new episode of Animalia Ambassadoria." Said Sarah, kicking off the latest episode.
"Because April Fools Day is this week," said Malice, "Let's take a look at some of the biggest fools, and biggest surprises, that Animalia has ever seen."
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"First off, once you get a new form, one of your (understandable) impulses is to show off your new form on social media in an attempt to break double digit likes." said Sarah, bringing up one such video, "But if that showing off involves twerking, make sure you don't twerk on a glass table." The clip, from two years ago, showed one of the first willing horse conversions showing off her new form, but then she got the idea to show off with some twerking. But the problem was that she seemingly forgot that she was now considerably heavier than she was as a human which resulted in the glass-topped coffee table breaking, much to the amusement of many a viewer but to her embarrassment.
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"This one was actually a bit of a surprise for everyone." said Sarah, after a few more clips of dumb accidents committed by newly converted Animalians. "We all know that Daisy is a lobotomy victim from back when lobotomies were considered a miracle cure for all kinds of mental problems. We also know that the end result ended up with Daisy's bovine mentality filled in some of what was missing due to the lobotomy she had back in the 50's." Sarah then showed several clips of Daisy's "adorable stupidity" causing exasperation for members of Animalia but while all of them were different, everyone about the clips being 'cute'.
"What was probably the most surprising result of this was the fact that it helped answer a lot of questions about neurology and brain surgery." said Malice, still a little surprised at the announcement. (Stewie: Say WHAAAT?!) "Before her conversion, someone had the foresight to get CAT scan images of her brain before as well as after her conversion for, quote-unquote, 'comparison', and managed to find some answers. Because of this, there are a number of people who were unfortunate enough to get lobotomies, or worse yet illegal lobotomies, after the practice was officially banned in 1967 but fortunate enough to escape vegetable-dom (is that a word?) who are becoming part of Project Phoenix. One of the earliest members is Jioni, who was a Japanese girl who had a lobotomy in 1975. While she is similar to Daisy in that she wasn't a hollow shell of a woman, and was capable of moving around her room in the mental hospital she was at, the lobotomy's end result was that her long-term memory was completely erased, including her original name. While she did choose a cat for her conversion, it (again) caused some similar problems to Daisy, which can be illustrated here."
The clip that Malice loaded up showed Jioni taking part in an "introductory" photo shoot at ASM, and showed her as a 6'7", heavyweight build, domestic cat Animalian with dark grey fur with light grey hair, as well as matching patches on the tips of her ears and on her chest at the top of her cleavage. After a few poses, a bit of her new, feline, mentality showed itself in a funny way.
"Nya..." yawned Jioni, "Getting a little sleepy." She then went over to a sunbeam from a nearby window, and curled up for a nap. It also showed that she was quite a heavy sleeper as it took Maggie biting her (lightly) on the ear to wake her up after 25 minutes of "yelling and poking", although none of it was sexual in any way.
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"One unofficial rule of Animalia you have to be aware of, especially males, is that nature doesn't look too kindly on douche bags who think that being male lets you get away with what you want. Especially with females" Said Sarah, bringing up two such cases that were caught on tape.
The first one showed an (unconverted) college jock, after a few glasses of beer, trying to get fresh with Fiora after one of her performances only to get thumped, showing that Fiora's muscles were not just for show.
Another clip was of another clear douche bag who had just converted into a water deer making a lot of flirty moves on Ling, who clearly didn't like that. Mr. Hyun didn't like it either, and when Ling began calling to him in Korean to "save me", he clearly intended to make the unwanted suitor know that she was off-limits. Fortunately Thurston was there to prevent an international incident, and arrange a Claw Coliseum "Mutual 'Mateship' Match". What made it even funnier was the fact that Mr. Hyun was able to win by TKO that was only a little longer than the second shortest World Heavyweight Boxing match.
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"It's no secret that we all think that the upper classes live glamorous lifestyles of relaxed luxury, but Nicole and her mother, Joanne, actually show us that there's actually a lot of 'social obligations' that must be maintained in order to preserve a family 'image'." said Sarah.
"Animalia, however, doesn't care about such things." said Malice.
"Joanne came to Animalia due to 'emotional suppression' seemingly being part of their family's ways." said Sarah, "But when she had her falling out with her daughter, all of those emotions not only boiled to the surface, but also boiled over."
"I don't understand a lot of that," said Malice, "But from what Dr. Jones told me, If you try to completely suppress all your undesirable thoughts and feelings, they would 'build and build, and eventually explode'. He also said that Joanne was one of those who hit the 'eventual explode' part."
"While becoming a fennec fox Animalian did help with the aftermath of that part." finished Sarah, "You can't fix a familial falling out that easily, so here's hoping that Miss Fabina, Miss Vivian, and Dr. Jones can do it to bring a family back together.
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"And that's all the time we have for today