After speeding down the road for several miles, Chris pulled the car over when he thought the coast was clear. When they were safely parked, Chris, Freddy and Michael panted in a state of panic, while Sofya kept a more calm composure.
“Holy fuck!” Michael yelled. “We almost died back there!”
“You’re telling me!” Chris replied. “I’m the one who had a split second to save us all from getting crushed by a tree!”
Freddy panted, before he looked down at himself. He could see his ass and legs were covered in mud, which had already ruined the upholstery of the seat he was sitting on.
“Oh man” he said. “The seats are ruined now.”
Michael smacked Freddy on the shoulder, who rubbed it tenderly in response.
“There’s more important things to be worrying about right now, Freddy!” Michael scolded.
“Like if we actually lost the cops” Chris added, as he started to calm down considerably. “Sofya, are they off our tail now?”
“I don’t sense any sign of them” she replied. “However, that doesn’t stop the mayor from phoning another police department in another town and asking them to pursue us for them.”
“Oh great” Michael muttered to himself.
“So for now” Chris said “we’re safe.”
The four of them sat in silence for a minute, before Chris spoke up again.
“So now that we are alone and can talk, we should try to figure out what our next course of action is going to be.”
“Later” Michael replied dismissively “after we figured out what happened with Freddy first.”
Freddy gulped nervously, as Michael stared at him with an intensity that greatly worried him.
“Freddy” he continued “what happened while you were away from us at Tom’s house?”
Freddy gulped, before he answered.
“Well” he began “after Tom took me back to his place, we get stopped by my brother Josh.”
“We hadn’t seen him in months. Where did he run off to, exactly?”
“I’m not sure. He didn’t say. So anyway, Josh comes up to us and asks Tom about using his dog, me, in this commercial he was filming in town. Tom agreed, so Josh snaps a few pictures of me and sends them to his producer friend and then I got cast. I was really hoping then that I wouldn’t change back right away.”
“If need be” Sofya replied “then Josh would just have to find another dog or, well, that’s show business for you.”
“Still, I wanted to be able to help my brother out with this. If it’ll help him get himself back on his feet, then I wanted to help.”
“And how will this help him get back on his feet, exactly?” Michael asked.
“Maybe the commercial will lead to other opportunities for Josh.”
“I highly doubt that. After the pandemonium you caused on set today by leaving in such a huff, I doubt that director will ever want to work with your brother again.”
“I couldn’t help it, though. The mayor must have read the inscription and I started changing back. I couldn’t let the crew see me like this.”
“Totally understandable, as that’s the priority here, but with the disaster of the shoot, your brother’s chances of success coming from this are slim. We’ll be lucky if the commercial ever airs.”
“That wouldn’t be good. Evan seemed so excited to be there today. I’d hate for him to not be able to say he was on tv. Speaking of which, when you ran off, who was watching him, exactly?”
“Oh, his grandmother came to set with us. I brought her to set precisely for this reason. If I had to bolt out to go after you, then I’d know that somebody would be watching him until we got back.”
On the set of the commercial, the crew continued to pack up their belongings and load them onto trucks parked on the street. Watching this happen was Evan and his grandmother.
“Grandma?” Evan asked. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know, Evan” she replied.
In that moment, the director came up to talk to them.
“We’re wrapped for the day” he said. “It means you can go home now.”
“Really?” Evan asked. “I thought there were going to be other scenes we had to film.”
“There would have been, but the dogs ran off and we can’t keep everyone here all night until they get them back. The sun will set in a few hours, so I decided to just wrap for the day. We have enough footage to use for the commercial. We’ll just splice in some shots of dog food in a studio to add filler, if need be.”
“Ok” Evan’s grandmother replied. “So then, how do we get home?”
“Huh?”
“My dad drove us here” Evan said. “He left to go find the dog, so we have no way of getting home.”
“Eh, I’m sure you’ll think of something. Have a great day, Evan.”
“Wait!”
The director turned around to look at Evan.
“You think I have a chance of being in another commercial after this?”
“I doubt it.”
“What?!”
“Are you serious?” Evan’s grandmother asked. “I thought my grandson did a great job today.”
“He couldn’t throw a frisbee to save his life” the director replied. “Who doesn’t know how to throw a frisbee?”
“Hey!” Evan shrieked. “I did my best!”
“Whatever kid. Have a good life. Nice knowing you.”
“When is the commercial supposed to air?” Evan’s grandmother asked.
“Sometime during the holiday season.”
The director walked off, as Evan and his grandmother stared with their jaws wide open.
“Wow” Evan said. “I really thought I was doing a good job today.”
“Maybe he’s just mad about the dog disappearing” his grandmother replied, as she put her supportive hands on his shoulder. “Let’s just call a car and have someone take us home.”
Evan nodded, as they walked off the set. Back in Freddy’s car, Freddy continued to recall the events from the previous two days.
“So then” he continued “Tom takes me into his house.”
“With that dog in heat” Michael replied with a growl. “Freddy, that thing looked like it was ready to hump you on set today. Don’t tell me you did it with her, did you?”
“Uh oh” Chris muttered.
Sofya looked at Chris with a knowing expression on her face, but said nothing. Freddy looked at his naked lap and began to feel himself blush.
“Freddy” Michael said with a sharp tone in his voice.
Freddy continued to stare down at his lap, not wanting to make eye contact with Michael.
“Freddy.”
Freddy continued to ignore Michael calling his name.
“Freddy!” Michael snapped.
“Yes, Michael!” Freddy snapped back. “Yes, I did it, ok?!”
“You did what?!”
“Oh no” Chris grumbled.
“I fucked that dog Lady, ok?” Freddy answered.
“You—“
Michael began to smack Freddy, as he put his hands up to defend himself.
“You fucking, scumbag, piece of—“
“Michael!” Chris yelled, as he turned around and pulled him back.
“Get off of me!” Michael yelled, as he was being restrained. “This good for nothing, piece of—“
“Michael, I’m sorry!” Freddy yelled, as tears began to roll down his eyes.
“I bet you’re sorry. Sorry you got caught!”
Michael managed to escape Chris’ grasp, as he continued to smack at Freddy.
“I told you we shouldn’t have gone on that walk, you fucking asshole!!!! You insisted that I take you out of the house and then you got taken by Tom!!!! You should have listened to me!!!! You should have stayed inside of the house and then none of this would have ever happened!!!! Fuck you!!!!”
“Michael!” Freddy replied, with tears in his eyes. “Just stop! I said I was sorry! Please hear me out!”
“Fuck you!”
“Michael, enough!” Chris yelled, as he pulled Michael back.
Michael’s face was a deep shade of red, as he angrily glared at Freddy. Freddy had tears rolling down his eyes, as his face also began to turn red.
“Michael” Freddy whimpered “I tried so hard to resist her, but she forced herself on me. Tom locked me in his basement and I had no way of getting out of there. The door was locked and there were no windows. She chased me around for a while and I did my very best to hold her off. She lowered my defenses and the dog inside of me just did what it’s naturally inclined to do.”
“Fuck you” Michael spat out.
“I tried to resist her, Michael, believe me. I did the very best I could, but as a dog—“
“As the dirty animal you are!”
“Hey! I’m not the only one who has been unfaithful in this relationship. You let Chris fuck you yesterday.”
“You prompted it! You insisted that I do it!”
“You could have said no! You could have just told Chris no and that would have been the end of it!”
“You pushed the both of us onto the bed and insisted that we stay together!”
“So that Chris could protect you, Michael, not so you two could get it on on the bed we share!!!!”
“There was an amnesia spell! No one was after us at the time! He could have slept on the couch, like I insisted he should have! You, on the other hand, fucked that bitch, the third bitch you’ve fucked while we’ve been a couple!!!! I bet you fucked her more than once, too, didn’t you?!?!?!”
“Three times” Freddy mumbled.
“Huh?! Speak louder so that everyone in the car can hear what you just said!”
“Three times!!!!! I fucked her three times!!!!”
Michael smacked Freddy harshly across the face.
“Ow!” Freddy yelped, as he rubbed his face. “The fuck, Michael?!”
“Three times?!?! You fucked her as a dog three times?!?!”
“Hey, I bet you and Chris went at it again when I wasn’t there, now didn’t you?!”
“What? No!”
“Liar!!!!!!!”
Freddy glared at Michael, who began to blush.
“Oh shit” Chris thought to himself, as Sofya smacked him on the shoulder.
“I should have taken bets” Sofya thought to herself, as a grin came across her face.
“I bet you that when you and Chris were alone together last night” Freddy continued “that you were so lonely without me, that you had him cuddle you and then he probably got another boner in the morning. Feeling angry at me for leaving you and horny, you probably let him fuck you again, didn’t you?”
Michael looked down at his lap, embarrassed as to how easily he was giving away the truth on his face. He was embarrassed with how accurate Freddy was getting what had transpired between himself and Chris that morning.
“Admit it” Freddy ordered. “I’m not the only one who made a mistake here.”
“Fine!” Michael snapped. “Yes, Freddy, we did it, again, twice this morning.”
“Son of a bitch” Chris muttered to himself.
“See!” Freddy replied, as he pointed an accusatory finger at Michael “I’m not the only one who has been unfaithful in this relationship, now was I?”
“Freddy, I’m sorry” Michael said with a sob.
“You have a lot of nerve, you know that? Flipping out on me for basically being forced into having sex with another bitch in heat, but meanwhile, you go and have Chris fuck you two more times today while I’m not at home. I have an excuse at least, especially considering you were the one who had me placed under this curse in the first place.”
“That’s not true! You read the inscription on the back when we first got the ring! I never told you to do that and, in fact, warned you that it was a bad idea!”
“It was still your insistence that I take it from the old man in the magic shop.”
“Fine, yes, that’s true, but that doesn’t excuse anything that’s happened since.”
“You let Chris fuck you again.”
“You said it was ok.”
“I said it was ok the time you did it yesterday. I didn’t say you could go at it with each other until I came back home.”
“Freddy, man” Chris said. “I’m so sorry. I knew it was a bad idea, but he kind of forced himself on me.”
Freddy glared at Michael, who became more embarrassed in that moment.
“What?!” Freddy snarled.
“He had me cuddle him last night and then this morning, I wake up from a sex dream to find I’m fucking him in the ass. He must have pulled down my bottoms while I was sleeping and inserted my dick into his ass.”
Freddy’s face turned a brighter shade of red, as his body shook angrily, while glaring at Michael.
“You son of a—“
“Freddy” Michael plead. “Wait.”
Freddy and Michael duked it out, as they began to beat each other up in the back seat of the car.
“Guys!” Sofya yelled, as Chris tried to break up the fight. “Guys, stop this right now!”
“Fucker” Freddy growled.
“Fuck you, asshole” Michael growled back.
The two of them continued to beat each other up, as Chris failed to pull them apart. Finally, Sofya’s eyes turned red and she yelled at the top of her lungs.
“Enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The fighting immediately stopped, as the car became silent. Sofya turned around and glared at Freddy and Michael.
“Shut the fuck up!!!!!” she yelled. “I’ve had it with you two fighting like this! We are on some backwoods road in the middle of nowhere and we need to figure out what we’re going to do right now! We don’t have time for a couple’s therapy session because you two fucked other people, or dogs for that matter, behind each others back!
“Our priority is getting back the ring from the mayor and making sure Freddy doesn’t change back into a dog again! Everything else right now is just a distraction! Now behave yourselves!!!!!”
Freddy and Michael blushed and became embarrassed as a result of her scolding them.
“We should probably try to find a more discrete place to park” Chris suggested. “We don’t want to attract the attention of—“
Before Chris could finish his sentence, they could hear the sound of a police siren approaching them. Pulling up behind them was a police car, registered in a different town.
“Son of a bitch” Michael muttered.
“We’re in trouble now” Chris added.
Back in the dog park, Tom approached Josh with his dog Lady by the Flower street exit. Adam and Dennis were being loaded onto stretchers to be taken into an ambulance.
“They’re going to be alright now” Josh said.
“I don’t give a fuck” Tom sneered in reply.
“Whatever. I get it. The mayor’s a huge piece of shit, but I’m the bigger person. I wasn’t going to just leave them out like that. At least they’ll get treatment now. It seems like they broke some stuff. They’ll probably be out of commission for a while after this.”
“I don’t care. Those assholes have given me more trouble than they are worth. They threatened to have me prosecuted by the police, they confiscated my car, they put pressure on the tax board to send my house into foreclosure. They are scum of the Earth fucking assholes and it’s karma and good riddance that those fuckers may never walk again.”
“Listen, Tom, I get it. I know how tough life can be, but I don’t hold grudges with people like that anymore. It’s not healthy to keep up such anger.”
“How the fuck would you know anything about that, fucker?! And who told you that I cared about what your opinion of me was, anyway?”
“I haven’t had an easy life, Tom. If you want, we can talk about it back on the set. Speaking of which, did you find Buddy in there?”
“No, actually! Somebody stole my dog. I found Buddy’s collar and leash in a bush and there were some foot prints leading out of there in the mud.”
Josh saw the dog collar and got incredibly nervous.
“That’s not good.”
“Your fucking asshole brother in law stole my dog again! I knew we should have gone after them when they passed by us in their car! Why didn’t you listen to me?!”
“Hey, Tom, listen. That’s my brother in law you’re talking about me. Sure, he talks plenty of smack about me—“
“See? He’s a huge asshole to you, too. Why are you defending him?”
“Because he’s my brother’s husband and I’m not going to go low when he does. I rise above it.”
“What’s with the fucking pep talk shit, anyway?”
“I’ve learned through drug counseling and therapy to let go of my anger and not let the small things get to me anymore. It’s been a long process staying sober and clean, but I work on it everyday, one step at a time. The process of healing has made me a more empathic and patient person as a result.”
Josh put his hand on Tom’s shoulder, who quickly rebuffed it.
“Let’s talk about this some other time” Josh continued. “Let me call up the van to come pick us up.”
Josh tried to dial the driver of the van on his communication device, but could not get through.
“He must be busy” he said aloud, before he saw a message pop up on his display screen.”’I’m off work now. Can’t come pick you up. Commercial has wrapped’ Son of a bitch. When were these fuckers going to tell me this?”
“What?!” Tom exclaimed. “They fucking wrapped already?! Those fuckers never paid me!!!!”
Just as Tom finished yelling, he heard a beeping noise from his communication device. Pulling it out, he was informed that he received a payment from the production company.
“Oh, never mind” Tom grumbled, as he opened his banking app. “They paid me already, like they said they would, after all. I don’t give a shit then.”
When Tom got to the deposit amount, he let out a roar.
“What?!?!?!? $1400?!?! Fucker, you said the initial payment was $2000!!!!!!”
“That’s before the cuts” Josh replied defensively. “I get a 20% commission as your referrer.”
Josh noticed his cut was deposited into his bank account.
“And then the production takes out money to pay taxes” he continued.
“Son of a bitch. Well, you said more money was coming later, right?”
“Yes, after the commercial airs, they will pay you the rest.”
“So this should keep the town off my ass for a month, at least. That way I can fight to stay in my home.”
“I’m sorry to hear they’re trying to kick you out of here. Do you need a place to stay for the night?”
“No! I don’t. I have my own place, though I don’t have a means of getting home now.”
“Neither do I. The production van picked me up this morning and was supposed to take me home when we wrapped. Now I’m going to have to walk back and it’s quite far from here.”
“Maybe we can split a cab or something.”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s what I’m going to do. I need someone to take me grocery shopping for Lady and I anyway.”
Tom bent down and pet Lady on her back. She was increasingly feeling nervous and uncomfortable as a result of her heat.
“And for Buddy too” he continued. “That is, if we ever find him again.”
“Alright, I guess” Josh replied, as he pulled up a cab app. “Ready to split a car?”
“That I am.”
As Tom and Josh worked on getting themselves a vehicle to take them and Lady home, Freddy, Michael, Chris and Sofya nervously watched as two police officers exited their vehicle and walked towards their car. Freddy tried to hide under the seat, but one of the officers spotted him.
“Sit back in the chair” the officer ordered.
Freddy nervously got up and sat back in his seat. The officers walked around to Chris’ open window.
“We got a report from the town over of a man wanted for assault on the police” the other officer said.
“Well” Chris replied “none of us have ever assaulted a police officer, ever. I myself was a police officer for—“
“Sir” the first officer replied “we’re not interested in your excuses. Our job is to take that naked man in your car into custody and transfer him back to the town you came from. He’s a fugitive and we’re on orders to bring him back.”
“Officers” Sofya cooed, as her eyes turned pink. “I think you might be mistaken. This is not the man you’re looking for.”
“Sure he is” the second officer replied, ignoring her seductive glances. “That’s the naked, anti-cop commie in your back seat. We’d recognize him anywhere.”
“Well, he’s not guilty of what you or the town we came from are accusing him of. He’s an innocent man.”
“That’s for a judge and a jury to determine” the first officer replied. “Not for us to say. We’re just doing our jobs by upholding the law.”
“Sir, you’re making a mistake here.”
The officers walked around from Chris’ window to the side door where Freddy was sitting. Going into a defensive posture, Michael held onto him tightly.
“Sir” Sofya said, as she got out of the car and approached them. “You’re making a mistake.”
“Miss” the second officer said angrily, as they turned around to look at her. “Get back in the vehicle, right now.”
“Sir, wait. Listen to me.”
“Stay away!” the first officer yelled.
The two officers pulled out their guns and pointed it in her direction. Freddy and Michael gasped, as Sofya stood stoically, watching them with fury in her facial features.
“Get back in the car now!” the first officer yelled.
“No” Sofya replied calmly.
“Miss” the second officer said “put your hands up where we can see them.”
“Jesus fucking christ, you stupid pigs” Sofya replied, as she pointed her finger at them.
“Put your hand down!” the first officer yelled.
“Sofya” Chris said nervously. “Maybe you should—“
“I’m unarmed, you fucking pig bastards!” Sofya sneered. “But of course, you trigger happy bastards don’t care about that. Any excuse you can use to kill an unarmed person is ok in your sad, pathetic fascist books.”
“Put your finger down now!” the first officer yelled.
“We mean it!” the second officer yelled.
“Threatening to shoot a harmless, defenseless woman like me?” Sofya asked with a snarl. “How dare you fucking pigs. You don’t deserve to walk on two legs ever again.”
“Don’t threaten us!” the second officer yelled.
“Or we’ll shoot!” the first officer yelled.
Sofya snickered, as she gave them a menacing look.
“Try it” Sofya said coldly.
“We will!” the first officer yelled.
“Don’t make us do it!” the second officer yelled.
“Sofya” Chris called out to her. “Just come back in the car.”
Freddy watched the scene outside of his window, nervous that the police were going to kill her in that moment. Michael looked on more calmly, suspecting that Sofya had a plan for dealing with this.
“Listen to your driver!” the first officer yelled. “Just get back in the car and let us take Freddy Benson into custody! We don’t want to shoot you!”
“Liar” Sofya sneered. “Of course you want to shoot me. I’m a witch, I know these things.”
“You’re crazy miss!” the second officer yelled.
“Just cooperate with us, ma’am!” the first officer yelled. “We really don’t want to hurt you!”
“Shoot” Sofya said.
The officers tried to fire their guns, but they exploded in their faces.
“Ow!” the first officer yelled, as it blew off his arms, with blood gushing out onto the grass below.
“Son of a bitch!” the second officer yelled, as his arms blew off and blood rushed out from his shoulder blades.
Unable to grab anything else, the officers cried out in pain, as they found their severed limbs bleeding onto the grass below them.
“You stupid, fucking piggies” Sofya said coldly. “You stupidly fell for my taunts, like the dirty animals you are. I can lower the inhibitions of most men, but somehow, I can’t lower yours. I know you’re attracted to me, as most men are, but your rage and anger towards my friend, Freddy Benson, consumes you so much, that it overrides your feelings of love and lust. Your anger controls your entire being, making you a danger to the public you are supposed to serve.”
The officers continued to cry out in pain, ignoring her words, as their blood continued to seep onto the grass below them.
“You live your lives as pigs for the thin blue line and you shall die as pigs for it.”
“Please don’t kill us!” the second officer pleaded.
“Just let us go!” the first officer pleaded. “We’ll get the other boys to get off your behinds! Just please let us go. Please let us live!”
“Begging for mercy now, are we?” Sofya asked with a smirk. “How an explosive gun can humble an arrogant pig.”
“We have families we want to see at night!” the second officer cried out. “Kids we care deeply about!”
“Wives we love!” the first officer added. “Please let us live! We were just doing our jobs!”
“You should have thought about that” Sofya replied, as her finger began to glow “before you decided to try to shoot me.”
Sofya set off a beam of light onto the officers in front of her. They began to glow, as they internally panicked, scared of the unknown that was to come. Their worries were soon realized, as they were forced onto the ground, as their bodies began to shrink.
“Argh!” the first officer yelled in pain.
“Fuck!” the second officer yelled, as he felt his body mutate.
The officers began to transform and change into the creatures they were always meant to be. Shrinking in size, their stomaches grew fatter, as their limbs grew shorter and stubby.
“Help!” the first officer cried out, feeling his feet shift into hooves under his clothes.
The second officer, already losing his ability to speak, began to squee like a pig. Sofya began to chuckle, as the officers turned into two fat, pot bellied pigs before her very eyes; one pink and one black. Their faces stretched out, forming into fat snouts.
“Oink oink!” the black pig squeed.
“Cop speak” Sofya chuckled. “I like it. I don’t understand it, but it’s an amazing language, if you ask me.”
Chris looked out in horror, as the officers finished their transformation. Shimmying out of their now oversizes uniforms, the pigs, with regrown front legs and hooves that replaced their detached hands, approached Sofya, angrily oinking at her as they did so.
“What’s the matter, piggies?” Sofya asked with a mischievous smirk. “Don’t like showing your true form to the world?”
Sofya laughed manically, as she made their clothes disappear.
“That’ll remove all evidence that these two little pigs were anything other than the dirty animals they really are. Though, maybe they could use one little accessory.”
Sofya conjured up two police caps to place on the pigs’ heads.
“Perfect” she said with a giggle.
Sofya walked back into the car, as the pigs tried to approach her.
“Drive” Sofya said.
Chris put the car into gear and began to drive off down the road. The pigs tried to chase after them, but could not keep up the pace. Unlike with Chris’ transformation into a gorilla, the officers knew of their former identities. The pigs began to squee out in distress, as they realized their fate. They may have been born human, but they were destined to die as the pigs they really were on the inside.
"That was quite dramatic" Michael commented, while Chris drove down the road.
"Well" Sofya replied "it's true what they say, I guess. All cops are bastards."
As Chris continued to drive off….