"What the hell is that?!" Andrew asked loudly.
Darren frowned in confusion and pointed to his mouth and said, "A toofrush?" Andrew saw the toothbrush but shook his head.
"No, not that." He gestured to Darren's stomach. "That! What happened?!" Darren looked down. Instead of freaking out like Andrew, he looked at Darren in confusion before walking over to the kitchen sink and spitting out what was in his mouth.
"Dude, I get it," Darren said to him. He rubbed his distended stomach as he spoke. "You can stop acting like this is so new. It's been like three or four months now. I get it: this is what happens when you have unprotected sex with your roommate."
"Huh?" Andrew asked incredulously. Was Darren really saying what Andrew thought he was saying? The front door to their apartment swung open and slammed shut. Mark was home. Andrew was about to say something when Mark practically sprinted into the room, dropping everything in his wake. To Andrew's increasing surprise, Mark said nothing about Darren's changed appearance. Instead he quickly crossed the room and kissed Darren right on the mouth.
"Hey, sorry that I couldn't get off work sooner," Mark said to Darren. He placed a loving hand on Darren's stomach. "How's the little guy been treating you? Not too rough yet, I hope."
Darren smiled lovingly into Mark's eyes and replied, "A little bit. But I took a shower and that seemed to placate him for the time being." He looked over at Andrew. He was just too stunned for words at what he was witnessing and hearing. "That guy is still pulling the 'How did that happen?' routine, though. He's acting like he's never seen someone pregnant before."
Mark glared at Andrew uncharacteristically and said, "Will you knock it off with that? That joke is not fucking funny." Andrew gaped at him. "What? You're acting like I've never told you that."
"You've never talked to me or anyone like that," Andrew said, finally finding his words. "But that isn't the strangest thing that's happening right now. Darren, before you walked into the shower, you did not have, uh, have..."
Darren raised a confused eyebrow. "My baby bump?"
"Uh, sure," Andrew said. "That. But when you came out of there, you did. And now both of you are acting like Darren's been pregnant for three months."
"Four," Mark growled. He still wouldn't stop glaring at Andrew.
"Okay, four months..." Andrew stopped talking. He suddenly stared at his phone. Olivia had said something about his mom being four months pregnant. He looked up at his, previously believed to be straight, roommates.
"What do you know about my mom being pregnant?" he slowly asked.
"What does that have to do with-?" Mark started to ask angrily. Darren placed a hand on his shoulder.
"It's okay, babe," Darren said. He looked at Mark. He hid a smirk. "Um, you've got some of my toothpaste on your mouth there. Go wash up. I'll chat with Andrew about this. Hopefully this joking thing stops." Mark nodded and marched into the bathroom, his eyes without leaving Andrew. When he was out of sight, Darren asked, "Why do you all of sudden care about your mom's pregnancy?"
"Just, tell me what you know," Andrew said.
Darren raised his hands up in defense and answered the question, "She is about four months pregnant, like me. Your dad immediately quit his job when he found out, which is sweet of him. Mark wanted to do the same, but I insisted that he did not."
"Four months pregnant? Just like you?" Andrew asked. He recognized the similarity.
"Well, not exactly like me," Darren replied. "She became pregnant about a week before I did." Andrew thought he heard a noise in the bathroom, but it was just Mark turning the water off. "Look, I'm not sure why you are acting like all of this is strange to you. It's kind of disconcerting if you ask me. Are you sure you didn't hit your head?"
Andrew chuckled in spite of himself. "You know, I'm starting to wonder that as well." He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for freaking out on you guys. Could you just give me a minute to try to collect my thoughts? Oh and could you tell Mark not to come in here and beat the shit out of me?"
Now it was Darren's turn to chuckle and said, "Can do." He walked out of the room, leaving Andrew alone with his thoughts.