Next thing you knew, you were sitting up in a bed, a man rubbing your back. You looked around. You were in a hospital bed. The man rubbing your back was your best friend, Jake.
“I know that you were upset I got you pregnant, bro,” he said to you. “But on the bright side, I always wanted kids, you always wanted kids. Neither of us figured that it would happen by knocking up another dude, though.” Jake laughed. “That study you were in in college was a blessing in disguise. You weren’t happy about getting a uterus transplant, but look at you now! About to give birth!” You felt an intense pressure in your abdomen and groaned. “Doc, he’s ready to push!” Jake called. A doctor rushed into the room.
“All right, sir, you’re almost there,” the doctor said, taking a seat in front of your genitals on display. “Push!” You pushed. “Push!” You pushed again. “I can see the head, push!” You continued to push. Eventually, you heard a baby’s cry. “It’s a beautiful little girl!”
“Oh no, we don’t know how to take care of a girl,” Jake said. Despite his words, though, he smiled. You felt another contraction and pushed again. “Uh, buddy, what are you doing?”
“Pushing,” you grunted.
“I- I see another head,” the doctor said, surprised.
“It’s twins?” Jake asked.
“I didn’t see that on the ultrasound. But given his unique physiology, getting an accurate ultrasound was difficult. Push!” You pushed again. A baby cried. “It’s another girl!” You were ready to relax, but yet another contraction wracked your body.
When you were done giving birth, you’d had five babies total, all girls. Jake was ecstatic as he watched you breastfeed.
“Five at once! And all of them can be flower girls at our wedding!”
“Wedding?” you asked.
“Uh, yeah! Did you forget? We’re getting married next week.” Jake sat on the bed next to you, smiling at the two babies currently breastfeeding. “You having five kids right off the bat is a good sign. We’ll have a whole army of kids!” He sighed. “Honestly, I kinda wish that I could bear them or breastfeed them, myself.”