In West Philidelphia, Born and raised, where the shooting range is where you spent most of your days, Chillin, relaxin, playing with little kinks, shooting out and hearin the plinks.
Then one day some guys who were up to no good
Started makin trouble in your neighborhood
You shot them all, they went down
and you are at a mercenary training center out of town.
You were great by god
the issue was your bod
so you had looked a bit like a dork
and the instructor said "Maybe become an orc?"
So you went to a transformation room
drank a potion, hurt so much you thought you were doomed,
Ears went pointy and painful
Got some tusks grow out, what a mouthful.
Then when it was all done and you fell a bit,
You looked at yourself and damn! you were fit...