"Hello everyone," said Sarah, starting the latest Episode of Animalia Ambassadoria, "And welcome to a new Episode of Animalia Ambassadoria."
"Today, we'll be looking back at some of our more unusual members, where they are today," said Malice, "And some unusual things that happened with some of our other members."
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"We all know that some of our newest members had gotten hurt by using alternative medicine instead of tried and true, 'scientific' medicine," said Sarah, reading over some files from Project Phoenix, "But one that really got the attention of the medical authorities was an 'alternative health spa' that came under investigation before the pandemic."
"As it turned out, they were using medicines to either treat medical conditions without the 'dangers' of modern medicine, or fight the signs of aging using Chinese 'medicines' or remedies that contained toxic materials in small enough doses to not kill a person outright, but still cause damage." said Malice.
"Shortly before the pandemic," continued Sarah, "The final thing that got the medical authorities enough evidence to shut down the spa was an 'organic' alternative to 5-Hour Energy that, while it was fully organic, unfortunately contained strychnine."
"Strychnine, for those who don't know, is actually a component of rat poison." said Malice, who was reading the notes provided, much to the snarky comments of many who watched the video. "But apparently, in the late 19th to early 20th century, it was believed that strychnine could be a stimulant in small enough doses." That was enough of a shocker to those who had posted snarky comments.
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"It's no secret that we've had a few military men join Animalia to 'help out', but have found some problems they never considered." said Jen-Jen, "But it's not just the enhanced senses they have to worry about."
"Henry and Andy, who are now a bald eagle Animalian and horse Animalian respectively," said Julie, setting things up, "Have not only discovered problems that their Animalian forms and abilities could have in warfare, as well as unexpected attention from female Animalians of the same species." The Big Lebowski: 'That's marvelous.' "But what can best sum up what these men are thinking is this picture of Andy on a dinner date with of the girls from Animalia's own 'Mane Six' from the Seven-on-Four Night".
The picture she showed was of Andy and Sara-Jane at a fine restaurant. While it wasn't the state of dress that was surprising or too funny, which was actually pretty standard evening wear dress for Animalians, it was the expression on Andy's that was both surprising and funny. While Sylvia was clearly flirting with him through their conversation, the silent scream on Andy's face said it all.
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"We all know that occasionally, Animalia gets something so unusual that the internet starts crying hoax when it's actually real." said John Eecks, setting this up. "Such was the case when Horizon got an enormous orange koi that seemed to be the missing link between goldfish and koi, even though they're both members of the carp family. But what was probably the biggest shocker was after he was uplifted, since his feral size seemed to translate over to both his overall size and his musculature, which gave Alice, when she first met him, a bit of a shock."
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"We've also had some Animalians show up on TV shows like Jimmy Kimmel Live, Ellen, etc.," said Sarah, bringing up the clip, "But sometimes something happens that becomes accidentally hilarious." The clip that showed this showed Anastasia Romanov and her pendant getting an interview on one such show, but one of the question upset her so much she began acting frustrated while venting her frustrations in Russian, causing Dmitri to come on stage. When he got close enough she said to him, while still speaking in Russian, something along the lines of 'please remove him from my sight', which, while it didn't have any subtitles or other means of translation, Dmitri's follow-up question of "What have you done to her?" as well as the host's reaction, did make the scene qualify as accidentally hilarious.
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"Next week will be the start of Animalia's first dedicated comic book convention, or A.C.C," Said Abby, reading the upcoming event announcements. "Which will include a 'New Hero' Cosplay Contest, which will focus on originality but with Edna Mode's restriction in place." Edna Mode: 'No Capes!' "Social distancing rules will still be in place, so keep that in mind."
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"And finally," said Sarah, as Anton entered the room, "We're meeting up with Anton about his newest members of Project White Lily."
During the interview, Anton made it clear that the primary reason these male bodybuilders had joined was because their taking steroids had compromised their immune systems, and with the pandemic going on it was considered a good idea. What they didn't talk about, but what was clearly guessed due to the comments on the website, was the fact that using steroids tended to make men's "equipment" smaller due to not having to produce as much testosterone with "newer" sources being introduced.
"So how many new members do you have?" asked Malice, wrapping up the interview about what Project White Lily was.
"Fifteen this time." said Anton, "But fortunately the first 'class' will be helping out."
"And that's all the time we have for this episode." said Sarah, finishing the episode, "See you all next time at Animalia's Comic Convention. Stay safe, and stay well."