"This is SNORT bogus," says Nate, "I'm getting out of heEEEEEEEEre. No way am I goOOOOOOINK to fuck up anyone elsSQUEAL - else's life!" He thrusts his balloons into your hand and turns to walk off. He gets about two steps before running into the balloon seller. You cringe.
"Oh, hello," says the seller. "How are things, Pig-Nate?"
"Um." Nate says. "They're. Uh. SNORT. Fine."
"I call you Pig-Nate," says the seller, "because you have some piggish features. Do you like talking like a pig?"
"Well, I, uh SQUEEEEEEEEE - no."
"Would you like to be known as just regular old Nate once again?"
"Yeah, I wouOINK like that a lot."
"I am sorry to hear that," the seller says, "because I was thinking about making your little affectation permanent."
Uh oh. You've seen Nate lose his temper before, and you can tell that he's about to fly off the handle and forget how important it is to be polite to the balloon seller.
"You fuckerrrrrOINK!" Nate exclaims, "Turn us baSNORT - back, now!"
You put a hand on Nate's shoulder. "Hey, come on," you say, but Nate shrugs you off.
"Careful, there, Pig-Nate," says the seller, narrowing his eyes.
"I'm SNORT not SNOOOOOOORT fuckiOINKng Pig-NeeeeeEEEEEEEeeeete!" Nate yells. He gets himself back under control. "Fine. Fine. Don't change meEEEEEEEEE! ...Back. That's fine. I can learn, OINK! I can learn to control the way I speEEEEEEEEak. Nobody will know."
"In that case," says the balloon seller, "I'll just have to make it more apparant what you are. Pig-Nate."
"SQUEEEEEEEEAAAAL!!!" Nate lets out a hefty bellow and grabs his sides, doubling over.
"Nate? What's going on?" you ask in concern.
The balloon seller waves to you. "Only one customer? Sales aren't too brisk, are they, Monkey-Chris?"
You feel a warm tingling in your bare feet, like numb appendages waking up. You look down to them, afraid of what might happen. You lift one foot, then the other - so far nothing. But wait - your big toes seems a bit longer! Oh, fuck, you're getting monkey feet.
You sit down and bend your legs, bringing the feet toward your face to watch the process more closely. The strings of your balloons are all tied to weights, so they sit placidly on the ground next to you.
First, your big toes grow longer, to the size of your thumbs. Then they start moving slowly down the sides of your feet - you can wiggle them as they move. It feels weird to flex your big toe so adroitly; it's just like a finger now.
Next, the flat part of your foot starts to move backwards from your toes; like a fleshy sleeve being pulled back, your foot seems to pull backwards, revealing longer and longer toes. And longer. And longer. Christ, your toes are long now. Your feet look like huge monkey-feet - in fact, they ARE huge monkey feet. You wiggle your toes, which are now just like long, slender fingers.
The last step of the transformation is quick - starting from your heel, the feet start to inflate. Your skin turns a shiny, smooth brown, puffing up softly. First the palms of your new feet inflate...then your new thumbs get puffy and round...and then your finger start ballooning up, from the base all the way up to the tip. The new feet are much bigger now that they're inflated, about twice as large as your old feet. You can still wiggle the toes, but they're stiffer now, and they make that familiar squeaky noise when they move.
You stand up, experimentally testing our your new feet. Since they're twice as big as your old, human feet, they're easy to stand on and find your center of gravity. You feel a little wobbly, though, so you bend your knees to help yourselve balance.
You must look pretty stupid, standing there with your giant balloony ears, and your huge balloony ape-feet, and your knees bent - as though you actually LIKED being a monkey! Actually, now that you think about it, there is something kind of cool about your new look. You gaze down at your huge feet, admiring them for a moment, before you realize what you're thinking - no! You CAN'T like being turning into a balloon monkey, that's not possible. You MUST hate it ... right? You straighten your legs, trying to look as human as you can, but you nearly lose your balance so you have to bend them again. It feels so much better to have your knees bent a little. You like it.
The balloon seller, at this point, is gone, as if anyone cared. It's just you, with your goofy, foolish ears and feet, and Nate. Nate's still holding his sides, squinting in what looks like great discomfort. But he doesn't appear to have changed physically at all.
"Hey...are you okay, man?" you ask him.
Nate seems to recover somewhat; he draws up and opens his eyes, blinking a little.
"SNORT! I feEEEEEEEEEel a little...seasickOINK!" he says. Then he sees your feet. "Ha ha haOINK! Dude! LooOINK at your feEEEEEet!" He laughs, oblivious to how stupid he sounds with his fucking pig-talk. You feel a little embarassed, and you cover one foot with the other, spreading your toes like fingers to hide the other foot. "Hee hOINKeeee HeeeSQUEEEEAL!" Nate giggles. "Man, you look soOINK dumb! OINK! And your eEEEEEEEEEEearsSQUEAL!"
"Shut up, asshole," you mutter. Without realizing it, you've started bend your legs even more, crouching down in shame until your knuckles almost reach the ground.
"SNORT! OINK! OINK!" Nate's laughter is becoming more and more piggish, but he doesn't notice as he keeps pointing to you and laughin. "YouOINK're turnOINK into a - SQUEAL! - a monkeeEEEEEEEE! SNOOOOOOOOORT SNORT SNORT!"
Nate used to be so calm and suave, but he's acting all light-headed now. That balloon seller must've filled his head with air, he's behaving so irrationally. Not that you're any better - you find yourself looking around for a tree, wishing your could scamper up into some branches and hide. What the hell is wrong with you two? You've got to pull yourselves together.
You drum your toes nervously on the ground. "SQUEEEEEEEEAL!" Nate howls, pointing and laughing.