It was ten past four when Ruthanne Shoore returned home from work. Glancing through a few documents, she reached for her key and slotted it into the door, before letting out a big sigh. At last, things were finally looking up! She made six sales today, more than enough to secure a bonus for her next check, and the wedding was just 3 weeks away. She and John decided to go halves on the whole event and both have worked themselves to the bone. At 22 years, Ruthanne was an inch short of average and 4 pounds over 170. By no means supermodel level, but pleasing enough to the average man. Light blue eyes, shimmering blonde hair, and light freckles scattered around the middle. Her hair, usually set in a shoulder-length bob cut, was tied into a bun for the office. Being nearsighted, she wore glasses but kept two pairs, one for work and one for the house. Her workplace attire consisted of thick black square rimmed glasses, a blue blazer, A white collar shirt, blue slacks, and black high heels. With the door now unlocked, Ruthanne made her way inside, eager for some rest.
“WATCH OUT!”
Turning her head all she saw was a white ball soaring toward her. Hitting her smack dab in the face, the young woman was thrown to the floor, the contents of her purse spilling all over. The thick white cream and smell were a dead giveaway to its contents, a coconut cream pie.
Someone had thrown a pie at her?
She suddenly heard thunderous laughter from outside. Wiping away the cream, Ruthanne sought to get a better look at the devious culprit but by the time she could properly see, the culprit was long gone. She was distressed, why would someone do such a cruel thing? The young woman had the sudden urge to cry but thought better of it. Now wasn’t the time for sobbing, her parents were coming over for dinner and she had but an hour to straighten herself up and prep dinner. Cleaning up the mess, she discarded her now cream covered work clothes and took to the shower to freshen up.
A block down, Mimmee was giggling uncontrollably. Pulling out her cell phone she called Buttons and gave him the news.
“ALL SET!” she cried out.
“Good Job, Silly-Doodle! You know what to do next?”
Yes she did. At the circus, Buttons had taken the liberty to introduce her to Mesmero and he brought her up to speed. Because of the rewrites to reality, some complications had come into play. Though Buttons and Mimmee remembered their old friends, their friends no longer remembered them. Why? John and Ruthanne were never fans of clowns, so why would they associate with any? Mesmero, however, made some adjustments to his “enchantments”.
“Pie or Spray em. They won’t change immediately but once they even so much as let out a teeny bit of laughter, they’ll turn.”
Mimme was ecstatic about the whole situation. Watching Ruthanne, a woman without a single funny bone in her body suddenly transform into a clown? It would be a sight to behold! She always did find her humorless demeanor slightly annoying every now and then. Grabbing her pogo stick, the clown girl hopped away to her friend's house and hid, eagerly anticipating the what was to come...
“Can you pass me the salt sweetie?”
“Sure, thing dad!”
The time is now 6:35 and situated at the kitchen table, Ruthanne and her parents sat as they indulged the usual evening meal. Spaghetti was on the menu tonight, a bit of a cop-out for someone like Ruthanne but her folks understood (Money was tight after all!). She had no intention of telling them about the pie incident. No, maybe some other time. She was still slightly rattled by the experience. As they ate, Ruthanne could hear the rattling of the dryer in the basement. She managed to wash and steam press her blazer and work shirt while cooking dinner but she couldn’t afford the same luxury with her slacks, so she just threw them and set it to low heat. She put no thought into what she should wear tonight and just threw on a dull blue T-shirt, denim jeans, and white sneakers. She was also wearing her “home” glasses, a pair of round frames, and thin metal rims. The three conversated, most of which consisted of unimportant daily banter. That is until her mother popped the big question.
“So, have you two finally settled on a date?” Ruthanne looked at her smiled.
“Yep! The 15th of next month! At Devotions Chapel!”
“Really Sweetie?!” Her mother congratulated her with a hug while her father asked.
“Indoors or Outdoors?”
“Indoors” The man breathed a sigh of relief,
“Thank god! Need I remind you what we had to go through at your Uncle Marty’s wedding...” Her mother chimed in. “I swear by the time they reached the “I do’s” we were all soaked to the bone...” Her father chuckled. “Yeah, I feel worse for dad though. He was still paying for that wedding eight months after they divorced...”
Ruthanne let out a courteous snicker. She had heard the story countless times but it was always amusing. As she reached for the pepper the young woman suddenly froze as her vision started to blur. It appeared to be a slight dizzying spell. Holding her head up, she just stared at her plate as she tried to shake it off.
“You okay honey?” Her father asked.
“Yeah, just a little...heh-heh-heh...” she chortled. “Dizzy is all...ah-ha-ha,” gripping her forehead, a series of unbroken giggles started leaving her mouth. Her parents glanced at each other; now concerned.
“Ruthanne? Are you alright?”
The giggling episode soon escalated into a full-blown fit. Snorting and cackling, Ruthanne suddenly started slamming the table in a vain effort to curb her hysterics. With all the willpower she had, the young lady covered her mouth and excused herself with a quick “pardon me” before fleeing to the bathroom. Slamming the door and locking it, Ruthanne sunk to the floor, laughing like a total madwoman.
“Ah-Ha-Ha-Ha-Uh-Huh-Huh-Huh-Huh-Huh-AH-HYA-HYA-HYA-HYA-HYA-HYA-HYAW-HYAW-HYAW!"
What in god’s name was going on? Her laughter had grown to such an intense level that her jaw started to hurt. Forcing herself on her feet, she opened her eyes and came face to face with a most unexpected sight...
A clown...
It was staring at her through the bathroom window, an excited look on its stupid face. Ruthanne had always hated Clowns. She found them more creepy than funny and this one did nothing to dissuade that notion. Was she behind all this? As she rushed toward the window, Ruthanne once again fell to the floor, this time face down. Her hysterical fit intensified, making it difficult for her to breathe. With her eyes now shut, her right fist pounding and her feet kicking the floor, a change began to take hold. It started with a memory from her childhood. When her father brought her to work...but instead of going to an accounting firm...like she remembered...he had taken her to the circus...because that was his job.
He was a clown. As was her mother.
BULLSHIT! Ruthanne knew her parents and they were NEVER clowns! Her father was an accountant and her mother an attorney! They were educated and well-respected people! The more she denied it, however, the more damning the memories became. She remembered going to park with them one day and watching them do a complicated juggling act for onlookers, her father letting her ride on one of the elephants, and even donning the white face and red nose so she can participate in an act with them.
All lies! None of it was true!
Soon enough, Ruthanne experienced various pains throughout her body. Disregarding how different her clothes felt, she could feel her hair growing, her teeth being moved, her mouth stretching, and her feet growing. As this happened, her laughing fit gradually lessened until it was no more. She had no idea how long she laid on that floor but she dreaded opening her eyes. Something seemed different, and if these strange memories were any clue...
Curiosity getting the better, Ruthanne opened her eyes and glimpsed something red in between them. The frames of her glasses also seemed slightly larger. Touching her nose. It felt like some unnatural cross between rubber and flesh. Seemingly on instinct, she gave it a squeeze...
*HONK*
The sensation caused her to break into laughter. It felt...comforting somehow. She had no idea why but it just did. Rising from the floor, toward the mirror, Ruthanne braced herself and upon looking at her own reflection, her suspicions were confirmed.
She was a clown!
Her skin was now a smooth white whilst her blonde hair had changed to a light blue, its length reaching down to her chest. A yellow hairband, complete with bowtie smilies rested atop her head whilst her bangs now covered her entire forehead. Like she suspected, her glasses had grown in size but rather than thin metal rims they were now a thick orange plastic, the bridge resting comfortably on a small red nose. Her freckles had shifted to blue dots and her lips were now a crimson red affixed in a permanent grin. Her teeth appeared much more straightened while her gums looked slightly more pronounced. Finishing the whole display was a slight blush of light pink on her cheeks.
Her clothes had also changed. Her T-shirt was now a mock neck long-sleeved shirt with purple, pink, and white stripes. Over it, she wore a blue and red diamond-patterned jumper that reached down to her knees. Between the straps was an overly large red polka dot bowtie, slightly crooked. What was visible of her legs showcased pink and indigo stripes. Were they socks or pantyhose? Ruthanne couldn’t tell, but they were thick and felt like they extended over her knees. Rather than white sneakers, she was now wearing a pair of comfy oversized yellow and blue mary janes with smiley faces on the toe caps. And finally, a pair of purple cotton gloves covered her hands.
Ruthanne didn’t know what to think. While a part of her was disgusted and terrified, another part was amused and curious. Touching her face, she discovered it felt no different from normal flesh. Not only that, but none of the supposed “makeup” would leave so much as a smear. Her hair also felt real. Glancing back at the window, Ruthanne discovered the peeping clown still there, grinning abroad. Rather than shoo her away she just smiled and waved at her. Why did she do that? She couldn’t say...
Returning to the mirror, she continued gazing at her reflection, seemingly mesmerized. Soon enough her real smile became one with her clown smile. Grinning wide with pearly white teeth, she adjusted her bowtie before brushing her hair.
She then started to laugh.
Unlike the forced hysteria from before, this was all sincere. She was laughing at herself. Laughing at how funny she looked, laughing at her job, and laughing at how silly the whole situation was! During all this, her surroundings started to change. The square mirror she was looking into was now circular, the tiles of her bathroom were now wildly different colors, and her toilet was now blue with swirl patterns. Her shower curtain now showcased numerous clown faces and the pictures she had on the walls all displayed various circus activity. Ruthanne watched with glee, laughing as her old life faded away.
Reaching for her nose, she squeezed and...
*HONK*
It was done.
“I 'am a clown,” she told herself proudly.
Her name was Sillianne Shoe, Clown Daughter Extraordinaire! Her parents were Ringling Bros alumni, Chuckles and Sherri Shoe! She started clowning at 6 and as a teenager, she participated in many of her parents' acts. She loved being a clown! Sure, she wasn’t educated (neither were her parents) but that hardly mattered! Being a clown ain’t about being smart! It’s about being funny! And while her appearance garnered a few ugly glares over the years, it never bothered her! Right now, her goal was finding a circus but so far, the search proved fruitless. What was she to do?
Her answer would come from the window. It was her friend Mimmee.
“A-HYUCK! Shucks Meme! Were you spyin on little ol me?” She greeted as she opened the window. Helping her in, Mimmee just chuckled. “Kinda Sills! Those honkers of yours always make me jealous! Hyuck, Hyuck!” Same old Meme! Sillianne playfully slapped her friend on the shoulder before inviting her to dinner. Mimmee, however, had something important to tell her...
In the kitchen, her parents had since finished their plates and were passing the time. Her father was juggling three plates while her mother was perusing an issue of Big Top Monthly. The former Charles and Sherilyn Shore were now just a pair of washed-up goofballs. It wasn’t always so. At one time, they were the cream of the old Barnum and Bailey circuit, the highest paid as well as the most decorated. Since its shutdown, however, they’ve been reduced to birthday parties and church events. It would be a lie to say they weren’t bitter. When Sillianne and Mimmee entered the kitchen, Mrs. Shoe rushed over to her daughter.
“Aw Honeybun! Awe you awwight?! What was the pwobwem!” As her father caught the remaining airborne plates with his left hand, Sillianne explained: “Hyuck! Just a mild stomach discomfort! I gots rid of it! L-O-L!” Her father laughed. “A-HYUCK! If dat’s da case I hope ya sprayed! I wouldn’d wand do ged a whiff of dat!” Mimmee burst laughing while Sillianne objected to her father’s rude joke. Looking at Mimmee her mother asked: “And how awe you doing deaw? Did my honeybun invite you over fow some gwub?" Mimmee shook her head. “Actually, something important popped up and we gotta split. If all goes well, we might have us a circus tomorrow morning!” The news brought a rush of excitement to her parents but time was of the essence. Approaching her father Sillianne asked...
“You still have some of that funny gas from the circus?”