"...so you can get dressed now. Except, since it's my first case like this, can I also get your measurements before you put your clothes on?"
"Yeah, okay. Let me just clean up a bit... again"
"Thanks man. And don't worry about it, really. Sam is bi too. I wouldn't call myself bi but I've slept with pre-op trans- anyway, point is, it's fine, really. We don't care about it" Jim tried to make Elliot feel a bit better since he still was pretty ashamed and couldn't make eye contact.
Elliot also appreciated Jim's friendship. He always defended him, even when other guys ripped on him for crying, or not being good at sports. Sam was alright too I guess. Pretty tactful but he was usually too polite to get to know him very well. Carl was an asshole kinda friend. He meant well, but often bonded by making fun of people as a joke. He would always help if Elliot asked him for something, but he had a tough time differentiating what was a 'touchy' topic and what wasn't, so sometimes he said things that made Elliot feel bad.
"Thanks, Jim. I appreciate it"
"Yeah, we are here for you. Even if ya scream like a tortured cat every time you cum with Jim's fing-"
"*cough**cough*" Since Carl was already pretty pissed about getting hit, Sam opted for fake coughing and a cold glare to get his point across this time.
"Okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Your scream was more like a little girl's rather than a cat's." Carl responded and looked for a favorable reaction to his joke.
"...No." Seemed like Sam found the whole situation too serious and wasn't in the mood for his jokes today. But that's okay cause he still had Jim, who was pretty easy going so he'll probably get a smile outta him.
"Hmm, I like the execution buuuut... content wise I dunno. Does Elliot really have girly enough voice for the joke? " Jim joked back by evaluating the joke as if he was giving a grade.
"Fuck off, content's perfect. Elliot's voice could be mistaken for girl's if you heard it over the phone. I demand satisfaction, good sir!"
It was true, Elliot's voice was pretty girly even by girl standards. Most people would, and often have, mistaken him for a teenage girl when they heard him over the phone.
"Fine, fine, I'll approve. But you shouldn't make too many girl jokes around Elliot. He pretty much heard them all at his point and I'm pretty sure he's sick of them by now."
"Fiiine, whatever"
"Elliot, did you clean yourself up?"
"Yeah, I'm ready"
"Great. We'll use this measuring tape I use to measure my waist. I just want your height, and your penis dimensions. But given previous experiences, I think it'd be best if someone else measured you. Just to avoid another... accident"
"Oh, yeah. No, I totally get it." Elliot wasn't feeling that comfortable with someone else getting the measurements but he didn't really have skin thick enough to ask Jim to do it again after he came twice from Jim's exams.
"OOh, ooh, I'll do it" Carl's hand jumped up. "After Jim I know Elliot the longest and I kinda wonder how big Elliot is."
"Okay, but you have to be serious. No jokes, just measurements."
"No jokes, I promise"
"Elliot, it's up to you. You gonna let Carl measure you?"
"Hmm, okay" Again, why did he say yes? Even if Carl said no jokes he'd probably still make a couple, and even if he didn't he'd think some up for later. He didn't want this to be one of Carl's 'interesting stories' he said while drinking either. Well, whatever, it''ll probably be okay.
"Alright, Carl start with height and tell me the measurements in centimeters. All the formulas use the metric, plus centimeters are more exact that inches."
"Sure thing, boss. Let's see now... About 4'11 (Sorry I wrote 4'9" before. But 5'5 - 6 inches is 5'11. I don't proofread these things). Maybe a tiny bit more?"
"Centimeters, Carl, I said in centimeters"
"Geez, fine, I have to turn the tape around now. Iiiiit's exactly 150cm. Congratz, Elliot, you can ride the big kid roller-coasters."
"Carl, you said no jokes. And now start with the penis. We'll need both flaccid, and erect measurements, for length and circumference." Jim said, while sitting on the bench, writing the measurements on a clip board in front of him.
"Buzzkill. Alright, let's start with the fun one, let's see how big you are hard"
"Carl, it'd be easier to start with flaccid, rather than wait for him to get soft after measuring him erect."
"Dude, relax, he's already rock hard again, must've been thinking of you or something" Carl lied while stepping in between Jim and Elliot and putting the tape on Elliot's penis. He assumed by the time Jim saw, Elliot would already sport a quarter chub, or be halfway there so no point in stopping him then.
"He is?" Jim said, incredulously. He stood up from the bench and put the clip board aside to see, and it was true. Although the size was small it was definitely erect. "Oh, okay then, let's start of with the erect ones then". He said, returning to his seat behind Carl.
Elliot was once again getting red. Even if he had a really big libido, getting hard so soon after cumming twice wasn't usual. Even with his ability to have multiple orgasms. But for some reason, he couldn't get Jim's body out of his head and he ended up getting a boner. Well, at least he won't cum all over himself this time. Hopefully.
"Okay, let's seeee... measured from the side, it is standing proudly at 1.25 inches. Who wouldn't be scared of such a huge specimen?"
"Damn it, Carl, I said centimeters. How big is his penis in centimeters? Is it about 2 and a half?"
"Yeah, actually. Maybe a tiiiiny bit more?" Carl responded as Elliot lost another quarter of an inch from Jim's bad quick conversion. "And circumference looks abooouut 2, two and a half..." Carl started eye balling the circumference of Elliot's penis as he moved the tape to wrap it up.
"2, 2 and a half what, centimeters? It better be cause if it isn't Sam isn't the only one who'll hit you today" Jim responded from his seat behind Carl. He saw Elliot's penis before and it should be about 2 and a half inches in circumference. Way less than the 4.4-4.5 that's the average, but it still gave his penis the actual penis shape.
"Yeah, man, relax, this time I'm saying centimeters. He is 2.2cm around. 2.3 At the thickest part."
"Oh, cool. Finally, you started listening to me". Honestly, he felt that Elliot's penis looked more like an oversized clitoris rather than a penis. In fact, he saw a few clits that were bigger than Elliot, both in length, and girth. But he wouldn't say that in front of Elliot. "Now all that's left is the flaccid sizes. Elliot how long do you think it will it take you to calm down?"
"A couple of minutes? 5 minutes tops."
"Wouldn't it be faster to just jack off?" Carl asked.
"I think I'd rather just wait it out"