“Welp, back to the ol’ grind.” Colin sighed as he buttoned up his polo. Today was his shift at Bargain Co, meaning he’d be trading hanging out with his lovely ladies for annoying Karens, kids wrecking the shelves, and Wendell.
“Have a good day, big guy.” Sam smiles as she pecks his cheek.
“I can try, but I probably won’t.” Colin sighed.
***********************************
“Go get everything sorted out on aisles twenty to twenty six.” The manager said.
“Will do, Chet.” Colin smiles.
He frowned and muttered quietly, “Wendell never has to deal with the toy section.”
The toy aisle was, no surprise, one huge mess of boxes and figures thrown everywhere. He groaned and sat there, rounding up a huge stack of Chuckin’ Charlies and sliding them back on the shelf. No surprise, one of the balls from the cage nearby pegged him in the back of the head. And again, and again, and again, and-
“Hey ma’am could you do something about your kid?!” Colin asked in the least aggressive tone possible.
The woman just sat there and stared at him blankly, blushing a deep pink.
“Ma’am? Ma’am?” Colin asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Mommy?” A toddler in the cart asked.
The woman just kept on staring as Colin rushed to get everything back on the shelf, snatching the ball before turning back to the lady.
“I assume you’d like to purchase this?” Colin asked.
“Whatever you want me to do.” The mother said dreamily.
“Ooooookay then.” Colin said as he slowly backed away and went to another aisle.
“Mommy!” The toddler yelled.
The mother snapped out of her trance, grabbing her second son’s hand and walking out of the aisle.
“Excuse me sir?” An old lady asked.
“I need help getting down the LEGO set my grandson’s after.”
“Oh, of course!” Colin smiled. “Yo Tina, there’s a top shelf purchase on aisle twenty two!”
The ladder was plopped right next to him.
“Thanks Tina....” Colin smiles.
He tries to pull it away but ends up falling over.
“Tina, thanks means let go.” Colin chuckled awkwardly. “Tina?”
The raven haired girl gazed at him with the same mesmerized stare as the mom earlier.
“Are you alright, dear?” The granny asked.
“Just looking at a handsome boy.” Tina smiled.
Colin raised an eyebrow; the goth never complimented anybody.
“Thank you!” The boy smiles.
“Not you kid...” Tina smiles as she leans bust-first against Colin, “Him.”
Colin noticed her hands were behind her back, yanking the ladder away and scrambling up it before sliding down.
“Here’s your LEGO set ma’am, I’m gonna go to the next aisle.” Colin smiles to the granny covering the boy’s eyes.
“This used to be a nice place to shop.” She muttered.
“That was weird.” Colin said as he turned into the bike aisle and started stocking the pumps.
He was halfway across aisle twenty four when the strangeness continued. He heaved and wheezed as he got a massive princess palace set onto the shelf.
“Can I have your number?” A girl asked.
Colin reaches for the next set, “Our delivery number? It’s 505-232-24....”
“No... YOUR number.” Said another mesmerized girl.
“Now’s not the best tiiiiime!” Colin strained as he got the last set on the shelf.
Suddenly his head was grabbed and he heard a sniffing sound.
“What are you doing?!” Colin yelled.
“It smells like the ocean... and sandal wood...” the brunette sighed.
“Jeanette!” An older woman yelled, “We’re finding your sister a birthday present, not a date!”
The brunette sheepishly adjusted her glasses in a fit of embarrassment.
“I’m so sorry sir, my daughter and I are looking for a Princess Patricia Crystal Palace.” the old woman said.
“I have one riiight here!” Colin gritted as he placed the last palace in the cart.
“Thank you, sorry again for the disruption.” The older woman said.
“That’s okay!” He smiled as they walked off.
‘So weird... usually I have to apologize to HER.’ Colin thought.
‘Aisle twenty six, last one before my break.’ Colin thought with a smile.
He wasted no time loading up the tents and throwing on the pile of soccer balls. The sports section thrown on the end was the most positive part of the section, because barely any kids were even in it! Colin hung up the last few water bottles only to have two women in track gear grab onto him.
“Hey, get off me!” Colin yelled.
“We just wanna talk, cutie.” One of them smiled as she squeezed his huge bulge.
“Let’s meet up somewhere else.” The other said as she slipped her hand in his pants and started stroking his member.
Colin grumbled “I said LET ME GOOOOO-oooohhhhhh shiiiiiiiiii-“
*CRAAAAAAAASH!*
***********************************
Colin had gotten to go home early after he regained consciousness from the shelf falling on him. His eye was bruised and he had a big nose bleed. He didn’t need to go to the hospital (thank god), but it still lingered with him as he went to get lunch.
“What’s going on today?” Colin asked as he sat down.
Sitting down right at his table, there she was...