Just as I began wondering how to alter the size of my dick, the text on the pages changed.
"Jason Grays penis percentile statistics in relation to all human _______
(Please input desired comparison demographic, eg. men, blonde men, farmers, etc.)"
Percentiles? So that means if I wanted to be in the top 1% I'd be in the 1st percentile, which would put Larry in the 99th right?
I quickly scribbled down "men" and more script started appearing one word at a time.
"Name: Jason Gray"
Penis size percentile (flaccid): 20th
Penis size percentile (erect): 60th"
Hang on a second. I knew I was a grower and above average. Shouldn't that mean my erect percentage would be less than 50?...Oh that's right, with percentiles the bigger number means your at the top. Lucky I caught that, it could've turned out really embarrassing for me.
I scribble out the two numbers and change them both to the 99th.
Now I just need to change my landlord's dick.
No sooner had I thought that did more words appear.
"Larry Douglas's penis percentile statistics in relation to all human _______
(Please inpu-"
I was ready this time and wrote down "men" before the input prompt even had time to form.
"Name: Larry Douglas"
Penis size percentile (flaccid): 80th
Penis size percentile (erect): 83rd"
Damn no wonder he's such an arrogant bastard. This ought to take him down a peg. I scratched over both values and replace them with 1%. I was already starting to feel my cock tingle as I scrambled to position myself so any intruders would get an eyeful of my giant dick on full display as soon as my apartment door opened.