Ugh, this is why I decided to go to a small, private college! My name’s Connor Winthrop-Bradforshire, and despite the pretentious sounding last name, I’m actually a really nice guy. I’m upset right now because my college, Deere State, just sent a email stating that the college would be closing soon if they didn’t get more revenue streams. Of course, they planned to introduce athletic. Pretty much the only reason why I picked Deere in the first place was that their only athletic team of any sort was cross-country, but we all know that doesn’t bring in the big bucks at all.
And I knew I would be asked to try out for the football team. You see, I’m very fit, built like a linebacker, people say. But football never interested me, English did. I guess I have a really easy ability to build muscle, as even though I do workout, it’s not to the levels of those lug nuts I see in the gym sometimes. And not to mention that I’m ace. Both girls and guys fawn over me, but I’m content to just jacking off to thinking about Shakespeare and how in many of his plays… . I’m actually boring myself now, so let’s move on, shall we?
As I expected, I got an email from the head of athletics requesting that I try out for football. I told him that I would, as we were a no-name school in the middle of nowhere who would be sharing a field with a local high school. That all meant the college would find out athletics wasn’t really the best approach. The director seemed happy, and told me that they had partnered with a local sporting goods store, and we could get equipment for more than half-off there. I was a bit excited, as I knew equipment for pretty much every sport besides running cost a pretty penny, and even some running shoes were a bit expensive.
So, I went and drove down to the shop one day in July to get my gear. I knew I wouldn’t be entering a store like Dick’s, but I almost passed it walking down Main Street. I entered and looked around.