pretend to be her genie. I will grant her wishes and twist them. Now to surprise her.
"I wish there was a puff of blue smoke and then she'll see me. I wish I had a booming voice for my introduction."
A small puff of blue smoke appears in the living room, Wanda gasps and then she sees me.
I smile. "You have summoned me here. I shall now grant your every wish!" I say with a dark and booming voice.
Wanda looks ready to have a heart attack, her mouth wide agape she just stares trying to make sense of the guy who suddenly appeared in her living room. "Fuck you!" She yells and grabs her phone. "I'll call the police!"
"I wish that phone was a banana." I whisper.
She tries to dial 911, but quickly finds her phone replaced by a bright yellow banana. "How are you doing this?!" She gets up from her couch and grabs a lamp.
"I told you I am a mighty genie here to fulfill your every wish." I intone in the dark and booming voice.
She yanks the lamp from the socket and comes at me swinging.
"I wish the lamp was back on the side table."
She swung her empty hand at me accomplishing nothing.
She looks at her empty hand and then at the side table. "Okay! Okay! This can't be happening! Magic doesn't exist."
"Yes it does! Now tell me your wishes!" I feel a bit silly standing there waving my arms around, hopefully you'll get some wishes out of her soon.
She looks at me. "Okay, fine if magic exists and you can grant me any wish then prove it! I wish for a million dollars!"
I whisper softly. "I wish a million dollars disappeared from a bank and appeared on her couch in a puff of green smoke."
I flail your arms around like a magician and with a puff of green smoke a large stack of bills appears on her couch.
Dumbfounded she inspects the bills. "They...appear real?" She stammers.
"I am a genie! Tell me your deepest desires!"
"Okay...okay..so..maybe this is real?" She sits down on her couch next to her stack of bills. "I wish I had a cup of tea?"
I silently wish for her to have a cup of cinnamon tea, reading her mind I find that was her favorite.
A cup of tea appears in her pudgy hands. "Ohmygod, it's even my favorite."
She takes sip and seems to relax.
"Fine. So you appear to be a real genie. So how did I 'summon' you? And what are the rules? There's always rules with genies in stories. And are you one of those genies who twists wishes?"
Crap, I hadn't thought about that yet. "Err, I was...summoned by your...intense desires! There are no rules!"
"And what about that last part? Do you twist wishes? Are these bills stolen?"
Right, as a principal she's apparently well versed in stories. "You haven't stolen those bills! I don't twist wishes!"
That first one was half truth and the second one was a lie, I was totally going to twist her wishes.
She seems to consider my answers. "Okay, I want to make a wish."
"Just say it!"
"Please stop shouting and can you stop your voice from booming? It's like a bloody thunderstorm in here."
"Yes I can. Your wish please."
"I wish....