Yes, it was embarrassing. Yes, you should feel ashamed. No, you've never told anyone.
But you would actually PREFER the life the animal that most people feel insulted to be compared to. Or at least you think you would. And feels great to let it all out to the mechanical box that just took your last quarter. You close your eyes, cross your fingers, and force yourself to imagine that it's really about to happen. No more angry bosses wanting you out by the end of the day. No more landlords expecting the rent by Monday. No more bystanders judging the you on your careless choice of clothes. No more parents questioning you about why they don't have grandkids and a daughter-in-law yet. No more stern cops breathing down your neck and waiting for you to make their day. No more entitled girlfriends expecting you to be some knight in shining armor with money and abs and a muscle car. Just you, a steady supply of food and water, and a farmer. One boss, one person to please, and only expected to be as strong as you would be naturally and smart enough to obey simple commands.
You open your eyes, sigh, and walk back toward your single-room apartment, deciding which fast food restaurant you'll have to apply to next and which of your prescriptions you're going to have to sell this time. You don't even notice how uncomfortable your jeans are getting, at least not at first. But by the time you're back in your cheap mini-flat that you can barely afford, you are ready to get out of the tight denim prison. It's then that you notice that the sense of relief and freedom seems concentrated in your lower spine, where something has started to ... flop around in the free air?
That's when you look back and see the shortish grey tail with the longish brown tassel swish around over your bottom. You gasp, drop the jeans to the ground and grab it, shocked to feel your trembling hands around it. You know what it is--you've seen it on the animal you've envied, hundreds of times. You just can't believe you have one now!
Legs shaking, you hobble your way over to your dilapidated bed to sit down, careful not to trip on your abandoned pants. Hopefully this will keep going and you'll never need to put on pants again. You are extra careful not to sit on your new appendage! You let go and thwack it against the ragged bare mattress, amazed that your starting to see more of its gray fur starting to sprout up from butt cheeks and your lower back.
A weird rubbery feeling from your crotch makes you look forward again, only to find a dark, wrinkly hose hanging out from a weird pocket of skin on your abdomen and dangling down almost to between your knees. Oh, right, donkeys have much bigger cocks than the meager nub your girlfriends giggle at--yet another perk of being a certain long-eared beast of burden. It seems to get even longer as you watch more of it unsheathe itself. The weird, flat tip of it looks a little gross, but you don't mind. What's good enough for a donkey is good enough for you.
Your eyes wander down from your two-foot foal-maker and down to the feet you walked in on. They sure don't look the same anymore! They've fused and lengthened, leaving you with a single toe on each foot and a thick, round toenail to adorn it. If the nail gets any thicker, you' can to walk on it. Hah! No more silly no-shoes-no-service rules for you. If you even bother with shoes anymore, it'll be four metal arches hammered into your new hoofs.
The thought makes you check your hands again. If you don't get out soon, you'll be a huge donkey stuck in a tiny room! Of course, if you run out carelessly, someone might see you changing. You swish your new tail again, feeling it slide across the mattress you can't afford sheets for and never bothered to clean. You've been ready to leave this all behind for a very long time. Might as well get out while you can still operate a door knob...