You were at home watching TV... when a signal popped right in the middle of your favorite show, revealing something that looked like a teddy bear with antenna.
It waved at the camera with a huge smile on its face.
"Greetings people of Earth! I am Prince Commander Gold-Star Huggles! I thought I should just tell you we're about to invade your planet, and convert you into more of our kind, meaning us living ('alien' as you'd call us) sapient plushies! Foxes, squirrels, chipmunks, we come in all cute and furry forms!"
The plush animal shrugged. "I could go into a long boring speech about us 'saving you from yourself' and stuff, or 'being a plushie is the bestest evar; (which it is), but we know you humans don't like being what to do, and we know how you humans love being badass and lecturing people! But I don't really wanna give a lecture. But our space ships are now beginning to hover over the cities and towns around the planet we've determined at the most unhappy and are in most priority of being being plushified! For me, here's Princess Commander Silver-Star Snuggles!"
The camera turned from the golden brown teddy bear to a neon pink plushie kitty. "Hiiiii everyone! Now I know what you're thinking 'our big super bombs will save us from those cutsey wutsey so adorable invader right?" She wink in a way that threaten to make your brain melt from the adorableness. "And... well. No. We have big bombs too, that can cutiefy your planet in minutes!" Then she paced around, the camera keeping up with her. "But I'm sure your big tough army bosses are thinking 'they're fibbing! They'd use the cutify bombs right away!' And well... We don't wanna. Ya see, our cutifying process only works on sapient beings, and has side effects on anything that ISN'T sapient!"
She pressed a heart shaped button on the wall, and four tubes rose up. One contained a burly man in green pants and a blond buzz cut. The next was a short man with slick black hair. And in the other two tubes was a cat and a dog, both obviously strays.
The big guy was banging against the wall. "WE'LL RIPE YA TO SHREDS! WE'LL TEAR YER HEADS OFF AND MAKE YA EAT IT! WE'RE INVINCIBLE!"
And the short shot poisonous looks at Princess Commander Silver-Star Snuggles, and stabbed his finger at her through the tube. "You should be ashamed! Every single thing you're doing is wrong, and you should all beg for forgiveness, and maybe we humans can help you become a proper civilization!"
The animals just meowed and barked.
A sparkling colorful beam shot down in the tubes.
The clothes of the humans vanished. They shrank down to be about the same size, and their bodies lost any outward sexual traits, looking like animate stuffed animals.
The burly guy became a green monkey, who hopped up and down in his tube. "OH YEAH! I'M GONNA HUG AND SHUGGLE EVERYBODY I CAN BABY!"
The other was now a blue fox plushie with a pleasant smile. "I feel happier than I've ever been in my life... I've never felt so LOVED! This is actually very pleasant. I take back everything I said!"
In the other two tubes however... was a life sized mechanical tin dog and cat with wind-up keys in their backs.
"Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark."
"Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow."
The wind-up robots said in monotones.
"As you can see, non-sapient beings are turned into wind-up toys without much life to them. And we really don't want to be forced to do that. And please, don't do anything foolish, we don't want you to join the zombie aliens."
A fizzle on the screen, and showed a collection of rotting corpses chanting "BRAISN! BRAINS! BRAINS! BRAINS!" As they pounded their fists on a dining table with plates.
A fizzle and back to Princess Commander Silver-Star Snuggles. "Or the ghost aliens."
"WhOOOOoOOOO! WoooOOOOooOOOOO!" the screen changed a collection of transparent floating bedsheets with blinking button eyes.
Zst! "They say they don't mind having new friends. Oh, and don't try to obliterate your planet just to spite us please, we REALLY don't want you to join the nothingness aliens!"
Zst! The screen showed floating darkness within the darkness, eyes that did not so much shine light and draw in light around them, holding up a sign that read: "Everything is worth nothing. Nothing is everything."
Zst! "And the tube was just for show by the way," she took out what looked like what could have been a ray gun if they were designed for a pre-schooler. "We don't need it!" She then bowed. "Now I'm sure you're all grumpy and angry! But we promise we'll help find new jobs for all the people who for a living helped make bombs you blow each other up with! We'll have free candy and hugs for everyone as you're assimilated! What was that last part again?" She checked a sheet of paper written in pink sparkle pen as she put on a pair of heart shaped glasses. "Ahem, 'resistance is futile, puny earthling.' Did I say that part right?"
"I think you said it great sis!" said the prince.
"Thanks big brother!" Princess Commander Silver-Star Snuggles nodded with smile. Then looked at the camera, closed her eyes cutely and waved. "Okay everybody! Bye bye for now! But we'll be land shortly near you!"
The screen turned back to your show.