Well, time to get up and get some breakfast. You don't even think twice about raising yourself off the dog bed onto all fours, plodding into the kitchen like a dog, and taking some face-first bites from the crunchy staleness in the dog bowl. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Glurg, glurg, glurg: you roll out your tongue to lap from the water bowl like it's second nature by now. You look up from your breakfast and lick your lips. Hm, your tongue seems longer somehow. No worries. But why exactly this morning feel odd to you for some reason?
Oh, right. Because normally you'd be sitting up in the chair, eating milky cereal with a spoon out of a bowl on the kitchen table. Because after you found that pet owner paraphernalia you decided it would be fun to act like you were the pet. And you haven't stopped since.
But hey, don't you deserve a little break from your normal everyday life? After all, your family did go on vacation without you. This dog business is like your own little vacation for one! You love animals, and there obviously going to get you one anyway, so why not go ahead and get some enjoyment out of all this stuff now? It can be like you're your own dog until they get you your real one. What's so weird about that?
After yet another valiant effort to convince yourself that this is all perfectly logical for you, you once again realize that it doesn't need to be logical anyway. It just needs to be fun. And you're still having too much fun to care.
After working yourself up into a frenzy with a squeaky toy in the living room which you didn't notice yesterday, you jump up on the couch, panting, and realize you've also worked up a powerful itch behind your left ear. You shake your head again, once again hoping it'll just go away. You really don't want to bring your hands up and scratch the itch like a human. You're tired of breaking character for little things like this just because you aren't as flexible as a dog is. You sigh and give the dog way one more try. You lift your left leg up in the air (your left HIND leg, as you want to think of it), crane your neck out sideways until it almost gets uncomfortable, reach your left food forward as far as it will go ...
... and make contact. It's finally happened! Your FOOT is touching the back of your HEAD! With a couple more tries, you manage to get a few of your toenails up against the itchy spot. Scratch scratch scratch--ah! sweet relief.
Now that you've discovered how it's done, you really don't want to quit until you get a little more practice. You've got some other itches you've been dreading to take care of, and you're going to put your new technique to use. You're like a student who just couldn't make sense of your homework no matter how you tried to go about it, until right before the due date it all just clicked, and suddenly it seemed like the easiest thing in hindsight. Why couldn't you do this before? You find your right leg can scratch your head just as easily on its side, and both your feet can help you reach some other spots as well. You can scratch your belly or your side, all without picking your hands up from in front of you.
In fact, your newfound flexibility works the other way, too. A really persistent itch on your lower back gives you a chance to discover you can curl yourself all the way around in a circle to give the spot a soothing nibble. If your face was a bit longer, you could probably reach your teeth even farther down your spine if you wanted. You can even run yourself around in circles with your face near your butt. It almost looks like your chasing your tail, hee, hee, hee!
Speaking of which, your almost disappointed that you don't have even a nub to wag back there, since your so thrilled at the fruits of your self-exploration. You settle for letting out a joyful yelp before roaming back into the kitchen for another round at that dog bowl.