"Genie", you say, "I wish to become a very sexy anthropomorphic amoeba!"
"Your wish is my command, master!", the Genie answers, waving his cigar at you and blowing the smoke into your face. You cough at him, but as you try to protest, you notice that your mouth is gone.
Excited, you take off all your clothes. Your body has become transparent and shows a large nucleus in its centre. Little cilia start to grow out of your skin. You feel incredibly aroused by this and would masturbate vigorously if you could still identify the appropriate body parts. The hare observes your change with interest, clearly satisfied with the results of his efforts, and if you still had ears, you would hear him mention in passing how incredibly sexy your new amoeba body looks.
But alas, you have neither ears nor eyes nor any other traces of a nervous system, and thus are trapped in a stimulus-response circle. Suddently, you become even more aroused than before, and in an orgasmic feeling, your nucleus splits in two. Soon after, your body follows, making two of you.
This practical exercise in schizophrenia finally makes you realize in the anthropomorphic part of your cytoplasm that maybe, just maybe, your wish was not such a bright move after all. How are the two of you going to thell the genie you would like to turn back? And if you succeeded, which one of you should return into your body?
"I reckon this might take a while", the genie mutters to himself, pulls a new cigar out of thin air and turns on the TV.