The big henchling, whose name was actually Bob--though everyone in the mob called him Robbie the Crusher--was not stupid. His usual method of dealing with things was just to intimidate people while crushing soda-cans one-handed, but he wasn't stupid, and strongly suspected that this would would not work with the singing, flying, plant growing giant, who everyone on the news was calling Paladin, even though he seemed like the love child of Snow White and the Jolly Green Giant. At least to judge from the size, the friendly animals and the growing plants.
Rather than go deal directly with Paladin, who according to the live news feed had currently grown into a five hundred foot tall giant and had saved a bunch of idiot gawkers standing on a bridge in the middle of a flooding river by the simple expedient of sitting in the riverbed and diverting the flood with his ass, Bob decided to do a bit of investigation, impersonating an insurance investigator and obtaining the security tapes from the chemical plant.
After a while of careful review, during which time Paladin finally got the stupid people on the bridge to leave so he could stop sitting in the river, Bob picked up a couple of important things from the security tapes: “Ty and Peter said I have the power to do anything my heart is sure to be a noble cause…”
Hmm. Ty and Peter. That was intriguing.
Bob had also noticed, since it was also rather hard not to, that for as gigantic and muscular as Paladin was, he'd obviously never sprouted a beard before. Which either meant he had a gland condition (a definite possibility) but more likely meant that he was a very young giant flying superhero...who could do anything he was sure was a noble cause....
A trip to the library yielded high school and junior high school yearbooks, which included a Peter, a Ty and a Kent, all with the same last names. And Kent's face was a dead ringer for Paladin's, though obviously much smaller.
So a call to the school attendance office was in order: "Kent? Oh yes, he's a student here. Lovely boy, very kind. Used to be picked on so much, but had a massive growth spurt this past year. I swear, he must be nearly seven feet tall now. Are you a basketball coach? We've been getting inquiries."
Bob smiled. "Why yes. Yes I am. College scout, actually. Was wanting to check out new prospects while they're still in high school. Could I set up a time to come in, while school's in session, possibly speak with Kent privately?"
"Oh, certainly. Which university, did you say?"
"Notre Dame," Bob lied. Not as if the biddy would check. "Yes? Oh, thank you. I owe you one."
He grinned. All it took was convincing this kid of a noble cause? Like taking candy from a baby...
Baby superhero, but same thing.