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The Jock-Strapped

Dysphoria and Depression

added by theFoxx02 2 years ago O
Author note:
this is the first thing I have ever written for CYOC. I'm sorry if its not all that great, but I got a bit personal, as I suffer from both gender dysphoria and depression. I'm MtF, but I cant imagine the pain that FtM individuals face. If your FtM reading this, you go king!)

You look over the field. The schoolyard. As far as you can see, you can see most of town from this height. Your exhausted from the climb up, but, more than anything, your exhausted from your body. This body which is not yours. This body that stole yours away from you. From the everpresent weight on your chest, to the breeze flowing under your skirt. The cuts you carved into your flesh, stinging against the cold breeze. Your secret pride being your penis, which was taken from you and replaced with these lips between your legs. You would never be able to live like this. And you decided you won't. You were never, and could never be "Susie" How you would never be able to back off somebody who wanted to rape you, as you were much too weak to be able to defend yourself. You shuddered, remembering what happened with Bash, and how he almost ended up knocking you up. If Michael wasn't there...
Your sister hitting you finally broke the camel's back, as you realized how nobody noticed, nor would comfort you. How meaningless you are. No, that's untrue, you have Trina. But, she's part of the reason your suffering like this. And Michael, but that's only because you have known each other for so long... They are only two people. Two people in this whole town. "Are they worth staying behind for?" you asked yourself.
"No, they aren't. They would honestly be much better off without me bothering them. Without me being such a problem"
you whispered to yourself. "Who would want to be with a worthless, fragile, little freak that will never belong here?"
and with that, just after hearing the doors behind you open.
You took a step.
And fell.


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