“This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy,” Mark clutches the sides of his head, staring at the cow that was his wife in disbelief. It didn’t make sense. People don’t just turn into animals, that wasn’t a thing that happened.
He stepped closer to her as she lay in the grass, peacefully dozing. If he didn’t know better, he’s swear she was just another one of their cows, just another...
That cowbell. That’s what caused this. She put it on for some reason and then she’s a cow. Coincidence be dammed. Maybe if he took it off, she’d turn back. It wasn’t like he had anything else to go on. He quickly moved around to her neck and reached around to unbuckle the strap holding it on when her eyes snapped open. She may have been a cow, but those eyes... still the same bright green they had been as a human.
“Noooooo,” the cow lowed. “Dooooon’t.”
“What do you mean, ‘don’t’? Honey, this thing - wait, you can still talk?!” his eyes went wide as he stumbled back, falling onto his butt as Jade propped herself up a bit.
“Talk like hooooooooman,” she said, her voice now a deep baritone, yet somehow still feminine.
“This is crazy,” he said again, his breath rapidly speeding up. “Jade, what the hell?”
“Feels goooooooood,” she said, approximating a smile as best as she could.
“But you’re a... a cow,” was all Mark could say. “How can...”
“Like cows. Am cow. Feels gooooood. Hungry,” her speech was simple, but Mark couldn’t tell if that meant her mind was simple too. It could just be harder to talk as a cow.
“Uh... should I... get you some feed?” Mark felt like an idiot asking that, but again, didn’t know what else to say.
“Noooooo. Feed smell grooooooooss. Eat yummy grass. Love mooooy Mark,” she leaned her big cow head towards him and before he realized what was happening, licked up his entire head with one single lick.
“Uh... uh... love... you... too?” He was in shock. She just licked him. His cow wife just licked his entire head. And there she was, pushing herself up to a standing position to munch at the grass.