Diane rolled the dice and her piece moved five spaces, landing on a red square. The card turned over and read:
When you wish upon a star
your fondest wish will go too far.
"I get a wish?" Diane asked.
"That goes too far," Joy added.
Diane said "Well, I really wish I didn't have a tail, but I don't want to lose my ass."
"I don't think that's what's happening," Cyndi said, "look."
Diane didn't have to look. She felt it as her usually flat chest inflated, her hips expanded, her waist narrowed, and all around her curves exaggerated as she got more and more feminine until at last she ended up looking like Porn Star Barbie. With a lion tail.
Jerri said, "I think I remember your fondest wish. You told me your first year here."
"What was that?" Diane asked, looking at her exaggerated cartoonish features.
Jerry quoted, mimicking her voice perfectly, "My high school year book had a vote for 'Most Feminine' and 'Most Masculine.' My fondest wish was that I'd be voted 'Most Feminine' and my boyfriend Chaz would be 'Most Masculine.'"
"Chaz?" snorted Sue with her pig-snout. "That little runt?"
Diane pursed her beestung lips. "Not anymore. Not if my wish was granted."
"Too far," Joy added.
Diane took out her cell phone and called Chaz, who she thankfully still had on speed dial. "Uh, hi, Chaz?" she asked.
She was not quite expecting the gruff rumble on the other end of the line. "Uh...yeah?"
There was a call in the background, "Dude! You've turned into a fucking monster!"
"Um..." Diane said, "Uh, Chaz, did you just suddenly get, all, um, masculine?"
There was a pause on the line, then the deep voice rumbled, "I'm seven feet tall, covered with hair and muscles, with a dick down to my knees. And oh fuck, I've gone bald too!"
"Uh..." Diane said, "Try to deal with it, okay? I'll try to see what I can do."
She hung up the phone. "Let's play, see if we can get this over." She lashed her lion tail with aggitation.