It's a pair of binoculars. You pick up the clam-shell packaging it's contained in to get a closer look. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't have a lot of weight to it. The actual packaging is probably about half of it. "Moo'NOCULARS!" it says in bold letters on a cheap, red paper label. Indeed, the pair of binoculars juts out of the package-- about a forty-five degree angle-- just enough to make it impossible to hang more than one on a hook at a time. You flip it over it one hand.
"The Moo'NOCULARS!", once again in bright red label paper, "indulge in a more direct approach to domestication! Start your own herd by just doing the following:
1. Remove The Moo'NOCULARS from it's safety-ensured packaging.
2. Look at any promising candidate through The Moo'NOCULARS with both eyes!
3. Observe their growth into a more natural being, naturally inclined to help you further your goals!
4. Whatever you want! It's your life, and YOUR set of The Moo'NOCULARS!
Should you need any additional assistance in reaching the very best version of you possible, be sure to observe yourself using the Moo'NOCULARS through the mirror! It's guaranteed to give you a leg-up on the competition!"
The entire pitch only took up the upper third of the back. Below the back of the binoculars, small and barely legible text filled the rest of the crimson label, as if the company had trouble in the past and were covering all their bases. Not willing to read any of it, you flip the package back over, repeating a few times to get an eyeful of the dull plastic binoculars. You hold one eye-piece up to your right eye. It's pitch black. You try to find the focus of the lens for a few seconds before sighing a bit and bringing the the full thing to both your eyes. As you mash the clam-shell against your forehead, you look over at the label saying 'take a preview' with an arrow pointing where you're about to gaze through.
Immediately, the other side of the store comes into focus. It's a surprisingly decent pair of sight-seeing lenses, and you start perusing the other random items on the top shelves in the back of the store with them. Someone is stomping out of the back-room door behind the counter. You drag your gaze over, reading the labels of merchandise behind the counter. Hesitating, an unfocused pair of white horns takes up the bottom view of the binoculars. Naturally, you drop your gaze.
You move back, startled. You press the binoculars into your chest. That was a cow! Staring you dead in the face! Or at least so you thought. Looking forward now, all you see is the store clerk himself, also staring dead at you.
"Like what you see?" he asks you plainly. He leans over the counter glass, visibly entertained at your reaction. He smirks as you give him a confused expression and leans back again. Breaking eye contact, he moves over to a shelf and begins facing the merchandise, as if you were never there. You hold your gaze a few more seconds, before letting it slowly fall back down to the binoculars at your chest. With deliberate movement, you raise the binoculars back up to your eyes and once again push the clam-shell packaging against your forehead.
Inhaling sharply, you almost can't believe what you're witnessing. Still looking at the store clerk-- at least you think you are-- instead of seeing a man in a plain-looking uniform, you're watching what you can only really describe as, well, a cow-person. Not only that, but a nude cow-person, which means you can clearly see that it's female. Almost automatically you gaze at the cow-person's free bosom, moving very naturally as she mimics the actions of the store-clerk. You cause the clam-shell to crinkle as you tilt the binoculars enough to where you can see underneath them. Plain clothed chest of a man. Another crinkle, and you're once again privy to the odd furry hide of a cow with human-like breasts. Looking down even more, it's also clear that she has the version more expected of her species below the abdomen.
"If you open the packaging, you've bought the product." You quickly jerk the binoculars back up and see the side-profile of a cow clearly eying you. It isn't really a cow's head you realize, not completely at least. There's a clear facial expression of slight annoyance as she continues to look at you. Can a cow show that emotion? You pull the binoculars away to see the same expression on the store clerk. He's in the same position as the cow-person. You realize suddenly that he isn't going to break eye contact this time.
"Sorry," you say, "um-- how much?" You hold the binoculars up to him. He stares at it for a few seconds before simply indicating back to it towards the top. You pull it back to scan it. Around where he pointed, you see a red pricing label, barely paler than the packaging. A bit taken aback, you see that it's only twenty dollars. It's not as shocking as the cow-lady, but still-- something like this for twenty bucks? I mean, you know it feels cheap, but is it really okay?
Perhaps unwittingly, you find yourself walking towards the cash register. The clerk picks up on your intentions and meets you on the other side. You say nothing as he stretches his arm out and you let him take the binoculars from you. He scans the bar code wedged between the legalese on the back a few times before sliding it back to you. This all suddenly feels so surreal. Is something this powerful okay to be sold for less than a good Steak? The thought of the word "steak" immediately sticks with you as the clerk gives you back the price with tax.
"Are you sure that will be all?" the clerk asks you plainly. He leans over the counter glass, visibly entertained at you looking down at the binoculars that let's you see cow-people. Are you actually getting this? Is this all?