You pause. This was a hard decision. And you can’t help but think it was unfair that you had to make it withthe King’s powerful alluring scent making the choice even harder.
Every person just had to lose a small part of their free will, and there would be no war, no suffering, just beastly happiness.
This was the choice, would you choose free will over all, no matter how much pain and chaos that freedom would cause, or would you choose to give in and live in a utopia of lust with Yuriv.
The King was waiting, you could tell he was growing impatient but the look in his eye told you he knew this was a decision that wasn’t best rushed.
Which choice? What was best for not just you, but everyone? You didn’t know, you were torn and no matter what option you chose, you’d always feel conflicted, possibly for the rest of your life.
You reflect one everything thats happened so far. Being captured by the knights, being saved by Yuriv, being taken to the rebellion camp, converting your first human… were those things all choices you made or were you pushed into doing them, whether by the curse or someone else? Have you ever truly been free? Was your love for Yuriv love that you had chosen or was it forced onto you, regardless if the feelings were legitimate or not.
Right now you knew that you weren’t choosing between staying in the kingdom or leaving. You were choosing whether you wanted to stay by Yuriv’s side or be alone. It was frustrating.
Every choice given to you was limited, constrained, yes or no, stay or go, resist or give in, but since when did the world have to exist in such a binary state of being? Couldn’t you choose neither? Couldn’t you just not choose at all? Would that be a valid answer?
Yes of course it would. The love between you and Yuriv was complicated, full of questions and doubts. You hadn’t even known each other that long, it has only been what, a day? Maybe two? Could a genuine love really been forged in such a short time? No it couldn’t, it was rushed, rushed by carnal desire and this stupid curse.
You love Yuriv, and Yuriv loves you. You know thats true, but it was a forced love thag neither of you chose. And if thats the case doesn’t that mean it was never meant to be? If no matter what side you choose you’d always be torn, looking back at the past with regret? What if you choose love, but a love you could truly trust in. A love you know would be genuine, a love that you made and nurtured with another person, a person that wasn’t Yuriv?
You look up at the King then immediately stared down at his feet. Looking him in the eye had caused your legs to tremble before him near instantly, and you didn’t want to feel more ashamed and conflicted than you already were.
“I’m leaving, I need time to think, not just about this, but about where I want to see myself in the future. Please give Yuriv my regards.”
You heard Riefclaw sigh, you could’t bare to look at him. Partly because looking at his regal body would’ve made you instantly want to rethink your choice, but also because you didn’t want to look at his dsiappointed face and then think what Yuriv’s would look like when he hears the news.
You left the castle without another word, no one stopped you although several of the guards gave you a look, split between pity and disappointment.
Even when you reached the edge of the town, none of the partolling guardsmen told you to stop as you entered the outskirts of the town. Entering the forest, you trekked through plants and underbrush until you found a small spring to rest at.
You were exactly tired, your new body caused exhaustion to almost be a thing of the past, but your mind felt worn out as you looked up at the clouded sky.
You were going to find someone. You’d meet them, become their friend and companion, and maybe, if the connection was there, fall in love with them, spend the rest of your life with them, and you’d do everything in your power to ensure that love would be a true genuine love that would blossom over time, not be rushed by some stupid curse. And even if you didn’t find someone you felt as close to as you did with Yuriv, they would still be your friend. They’d still be someone by your side.
Feeling determined, you stood up, looking at the sun. The flow of time had felt distorted to you. The past day or so had felt more like a lifetime. You weren’t quite sure how much time you had spent resting at this spring, but the sun was beginning to set soon within a couple hours.
It’d best be your time to leave.