Steph was gone.
He was alone.
Adam stood in the rain next to her grave. It had been nearly a year since he held her cancer-ridden body in his arms, a year since she simply stopped breathing. In many ways he died with her in that moment.
He could not imagine loving someone the way he loved her. And in that moment of exquisitely profound loss, he could not imagine life without her. She had done something no one else had… she had captured his heart and valued him as a human being, someone worthy of love and respect. She had even started to convince him that maybe - just maybe - he was worth loving.
But now she was gone. And since that time, he felt as though he too was gone. Somehow, he existed constantly in that one moment of acute loss… he could not find his way out of it, nor could he move past it. He simply existed in that moment, his last moments with her, unable to let go of her, afraid of what would become of him if he did.
It had been a year, but it felt as fresh as if it had happened only a few seconds ago.
He slumped to the wet ground, rain hiding the tears that streaked his face.
He saw some mud on his pants and hand, and felt strangely numb. She remembered the last time she was on her knees in mud, it seemed so long ago. She felt a long-dormant deep longing stir. She suddenly found herself wishing Kyle was here with her… maybe she could bring some pleasure to him, some healing… she had learned more gentleness an kindness since the last time she had seen him… and knowing his woundedness, she wanted only to comfort him in whatever ways she was able. The need to replace the unbearable emptiness was so strong. And Kyle knew who she really was deep down inside. He knew the real her, and accepted her. Not a surfer, not even a man really… just a fat, dumb sow who liked to suck cock and please her master. She wondered if there was still any hope for that… and wished she could talk to him.
A small grunt escaped her lips, and there was no denying… it was right.