The gods’ ultimate decision would be determined by way of lottery raffle. Three words would be drawn from a hat, and those three words would determine their path. In the end, those three words wound up being “fat”, “Cerberus”, and “babes”.
“How utterly ridiculous,” one said, “Only a perverted fool would go through with this idea! It’s disgusting! Depraved! Deviant! Degenerate! ... Let’s put it into motion right away!”
So the terms of the virus were deliberated and decided upon through a series of debates. First they debated on the word “babes”. Surely they couldn’t turn them all female, for with no seed they would surely die out. One suggested that they all need only appear like women, and their actual genitalia could be left well enough alone. The other gods agreed to that idea, and moved on to the word “fat”. Obesity came with a myriad of horrible health problems, which none of them wished to deal with. Thus, they decided that their virus would eliminate most of these problems wholesale, such as heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, and anything else considered “not fun”. The gods then deliberated on the final word remaining, “Cerberus”. Surely they couldn’t turn the humans into feral animals, much less a mythical one. Anthropomorphism was quickly agreed upon for the fulfillment of the requirements.
In the end, the gods decided that the virus would transform the infected humans into overweight anthropomorphic three-headed canine creatures. They would all appear female and use female pronouns, but only half of them would actually be female and the only real way to tell the difference would be whether they had a dick or a pussy. They would all have conventionally beautiful faces, and each head would have a different personality with the middle head being the one in charge. The average weight would be around 450 pounds and they would have bottomless appetites to match their new girth. It was also decided that the virus would affect both dogs and humans, and would be transmitted through both saliva and sexual fluids.
Their work finished, they sent the virus to Earth, sat back, and waited.