The beat up old Camaro rolled into the parking lot in a puff of smoke.
“That’s the last time I agree to carpool with you!” Ronnie coughed.
“Ah come on, I just need to tune her up.” Oscar said as the car sputtered and sprayed smog.
Ronnie grabbed his lunch pack and started walking “Yeah, I should’ve just asked Tina, her van has real AC and... Wendy?”
He watched the pink haired Asian slip out the backseat and start walking with the goth and her gamer boyfriend.
“Oh yeah, I’d like ridin’ with a nice fat ass like that.” Oscar chuckled to himself.
Ronnie was watching as Colin places his hand right on Wendy’s “nice fat ass”, his other hand cupping Tina’s butt as the girls nuzzled his neck.
Then Wendy noticed him and they split up and rushed in the door.
“Something fishy’s going on....” Ronnie said.
**********************************
Ronnie did his rounds sweeping the aisles with a mechanical sort of rhythm. He paused as he passed a toy aisle and overhead and exchanging of words.
“So which one of us will be with you tonight, baby?” Wendy adoringly asked.
“Well, Christy wanted to go see that new Pixar thing, but Lucy wanted to see that Shadows of the Valley thing.” Colin said, oblivious to his listener. “So I was thinking Sam could drive Lucy over while Christy and I watch our movie, then the three of us will watch our movie while she goes home.”
“And the lucky girl getting in bed?” Wendy asked.
“I blew off Jamie yesterday when I ran into you, so it’s her and Sam.” Colin said.
Ronnie quickly swept down the aisle and bumped into Oscar.
“What’s up with-?!” The black man asked as the janitor covered his mouth.
“Meet me in the break room.” Ronnie gestured.
“Hold up, y’all think Colin, our Colin, Mr. Colin Barfed-On-Mina-at-the-Halloween-party Greys, has how many girlfriends?” Oscar asked with a look of mock skepticism.
“I wouldn’t be saying it if I didn’t hear it straight from the guy himself!” Ronnie said, “I overheard him talking with Wendy.”
“How do I know this ain’t a prank?” Oscar said.
“We follow him to the theatre tonight.” Ronnie said.
“Follow who to the theatre tonight?” Tina asked as they jumped.
“Nobody!” Ronnie said as he ran off.
**********************************
“You notice anything?” Ronnie said as he scanned around for his coworker.
“Oh yeah... damn girl, y’all packin’ the whole wagon.” Oscar smiles.
The janitor sighed as he watched his friend eye up a ginger in a sweater with broad hips and a huge butt.
“Stop creeping on the redhead and look for- Colin!” Ronnie gasped quietly.
Colin kissed Christy gently and wrapped his arm around her waist.
“Daaaaaaaayum! Colin’s got Wendy, Tina, and that stacked hottie?” Oscar asked.
“Focus!” Ronnie said.
“On the fact that dopey ass Colin Greys gets more pussy on the regular than I do in a month?” Oscar asked.
“The point is that there’s no way ‘dopey ass Colin Greys’ won them over without hypnosis or something... Wendy wouldn’t just go from hating Tina’s guts to letting him grab their asses!” Ronnie said.
“Hypnosis? Really?” Oscar said with an eyebrow raised. “Y’all just jealous, man.”
“Jealous? Of what?” Ronnie asked.
“Oh come on man, you know as good as I do that you caught the feelings for Wendy the minute you met her!” Oscar said, “You had your chance and you missed it!”
“Lemme go get our drinks.” Colin smiles as Christy walks to her seat.
He turned to see a fist fight breaking out in front of the snack stand.
“Hey, knock it off, knock it off!” Colin yelled, “What’s going on?!”
“I could ask you the same thing, Greys!” Ronnie said, “Or am I gonna have to tell Christy about Wendy?!”
“Dude, for real, get over it, she’s not into you!” Oscar said.
“No, we’re getting to the bottom of this right now.” Ronnie said, “How come all the girls are suddenly into you? You brainwash them?”
“I would NEVER do something like that!” Colin said. “If any girl goes out with me, it’s because that’s what she wants!”
“Bullshit!” Ronnie shouted as a crowd began to gather “The only way some dumbass screw up like you could land anybody is by messing with their minds.”
“Okay man, this has gone too damn far, man.” Oscar said as he got between them.
“Get out my way, we need to-“ Ronnie started.
“I did NOT miss the big playoffs to watch you go crazy over your little crush!” Oscar said as the crowd grew and security approached.
“Crush this!” Ronnie said as he threw a punch.
Oscar swerved out of the way, watching as Ronnie’s fist collided with Colin’s junk.
“Oh damn man, you okay?” Oscar said.
A bright pink glow spread across his skin as a blinding flash filled the air.
“Colin, the movie’s starting, where is our... oh my!” Christy gasped.