Hmph. "Not ambitious enough," they said when they pressured you out of the organization. They sounded just like your parents, and your teachers, and your coach, and even your last sex partner. If you don't want more money, more responsibility, more power, a longer title, riskier plays, hotter sex, bigger cars, and less free time, then you might as well fall off the face of the Earth as far as some people are concerned.
Well, guess what? You aren't ambitious! As long as you're getting by, you don't care who has more, who's is bigger, who's a better team player, who you have to answer to, or what decisions you don't get to take credit for (and don't have to worry about). Everyone needs a chance to live a little, but does everyone have to live large? If you have everything you need and most of what you want, how much more do you have to reach for?
Well, if that's not good enough for a fun-loving man or woman on the young side of middle age, then maybe you'd be better of as something else. Nobody expects their pets to spend every waking moment climbing the ladder! You think you could be perfectly happy as a dog looking forward to your next walk in the park, or a goldfish cozying up in a little fishbowl castle. Who needs to run the rat race when they can play on a hamster wheel? You've got a lot of companionship and contentment to offer if people would take a minute to notice rather than fretting over why you aren't married with two houses and a six-figure salary and a full slate of business trips. Maybe, after you swear off human achievements forever, somebody finally will take notice.
The pet animal options, besides being your favorite, are a beautifully ironic choice on your part. Even for species reassignment, they're essential the least ambitious option. You aren't going to be saving an endangered species or setting off on some dangerous but self-sufficient new life in the wilderness. You're going to lounge around in someone's house, getting fed and pampered, in exchange for just making them happy and giving them a chance to take care of something. What will all of the nagging voices that "just want what's best for you" say, when they found out you've tuned them all out for good to go cuddle up in somebody's lap somewhere? You're parents are gonna flip!
Well, they can all kiss your behind. (You might go sniff behinds, hee hee). You stroll up to the receptionist's desk and proudly ask for a form, sit down to fill it out. At least nobody can every say again that you don't seem to know what you want in life. You pass the paperwork back across the desk and sit down to wait until you get called back for your injection.