Madame Illusia was bombarded with transformation suggestions from the audience: "Make him a girl!", "Turn him into a frog!", "Give him wings!", "Make him wear diapers!", and so on and so on. She held up her hands to quiet the crowd.
"Okay, okay!" she says. "I see you have so many ideas, and our-less-than-sober friend here is open to anything, so we need a fair way to decide. I think it's time for us to spin the Wheel of Change!"
Stephan wheeled out a large gambling wheel that was magically updating itself with ideas the audience members had called out. Madame told James to spin the wheel, and of course he tripped and fell on the way there. Giggling along with the audience, he got back up and yanked the wheel around in a circle as hard as he could. It was spinning and spinning, until it finally slowed down and landed on: "Give him a donkey penis."
The audience saw James's clothes vanish and reappear, folded neatly, on the front of the stage. James didn't seem to notice. Then they saw his penis unfurl into a long black hose that looked as thick as his arm. Then it got pulled back up into a fleshy pocket that had formed on his abdomen. Then his balls ballooned up into melons, and he was left with comically large and awkwardly shaped genitals, naked in front of everybody on the stage. James laughed and tickled his equine sheath a little bit and then accidentally let his dick out after a second or two, after which the urethra stretched open and spewed some rank grayish-yellow liquid onto the stage. The audience guffawed.
James's donkey dick resheathed itself, and the Madame had to remind him to get his clothes on the way offstage lest he leave the show naked in his drunken stupor. The pants were somewhat uncomfortable over his new arrangement, but he ignored them and watched the rest of the show, not that he would remember most of it. When he thought it was over, he stumbled back home and collapsed onto his bed to sleep it off.
When James awoke the next morning, his head was aching, his eyes were red, and he felt he might vomit at any moment. It was mornings like these that made him wonder why he even drank alcohol, but somehow that question never seemed to occur to him when he was popping open a beer can. His bed was soaked, and already he felt like his bladder was about to burst. He hauled himself over to the toilet and started fumbling with his pants. It would be good to get them off, because they were much more uncomfortable than they had been the day before. Of course, everything was uncomfortable with a hangover like this.
James gasped when he saw his balls and dick. At first, he thought he was still drunk. It took him a while to understand that the oversized scrotum and tucked-up sheath were really his own. Not sure how he was going to pee out of this, but realizing he must have done so at least once last night, he cleared his mind and let his body figure it out. The wrinkly tube that worked its way out was obscenely hideous, but it got the job done! Then he felt it tuck itself back up inside him and screamed.