“Ah! We’re approaching the city limits now,” your chauffeur noticed as the van approached a stately looking sign. It read:
Welcome to Hamilton, USA
Home of GainMor Supplements
Population: Growing!
“The heck does ‘population: growing’ mean?” you ask aloud, “Like, are a lot of people moving in?”
“Well, yes and no,” the chauffeur started explaining, “It’s true that plenty of folks are moving to Hamilton, but that’s not exactly what the sign means.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is the founding city of GainMor Supplements,” she continued, “Maybe you’ve heard about them?”
“Aren’t they the people behind those semi-addictive multivitamins and muscle supplements that are all the rage?” you ask.
“Exactly,” the chauffeur nodded, “Well they also have a line of weight gain supplements for beauty applications. Stuff to make your butt plumper or your breasts bigger if you’re into that sort of thing. They work by converting the food you eat directly into adipose tissue and applying it to wherever you want it to go. Of course, they’re semi-addictive, as you put it, and all that weight also tends to settle elsewhere around the body. As a result…”
Your jaw became agape as you took in the sights of the town. Almost everyone here was morbidly, jiggling-ly obese in one way or another, like something out of a fetish comic or a parody of American life. The sidewalks were almost as wide as the roads, and the benches looked triple reinforced. Another thing of note was that most of the citizens he saw were all women whose boobs and butts alone seemed to dwarf anything he’d ever seen before. Any men he saw ran the gamut between wiry beanpoles, chad bodybuilders, and the occasional fluffy dude. It was mostly the girls who were ham planets, so much so that they had to have their bellies and butts propped up on wheels! Most of the advertisements in town you saw were for restaurants, snack foods, GainMor Supplements, and these apparent “Standup Scooters”.
“After a few generations of girls popping fat pills,” the chauffeur continued, “it created a localized culture that romanticizes female obesity. Hamilton has the highest body mass index per capita of any other city in the United States. They even made it so that you don’t suffer muscular atrophy or cardiovascular problems either!”
“Why’d the company transfer me here?” you ask your chauffeur, “Some kind of sick joke?”
“Can’t say for sure,” she shrugged, “but on the bright side you’ll also be receiving a hefty raise, so there’s that.”
“A fatter paycheck for a fatter town,” you sighed, “What a life.”
“I should mention another thing,” the chauffeur continued, “You’ll be living with a roommate or two, both locals, and both female. They can probably answer your questions about this town better than I can.”