"That friend I mentioned, Rosa?" Jenny's texting continued, "we were out having drinks and she was curious, so..."
You sighed, pondering a drink yourself.
"OK so we were both kinda plastered, and she got kinda hands-y, and it just kinda.. went off. So... that was really a thing, and I was distracted, and didn't notice her popping it on after, so... she has it now. But I'll get it back."
You did your best to calm down and have something to eat, when your phone buzzed again.
"Update: Rosa doesn't have it, Sharon does."
"Oh Sharon DID but... hang on. Really makes you think huh? Like those old ads about AIDS, kinda?"
You sat down to watch another movie, this was clearly going to be a while.
Another buzz from your phone, a good hour later. "OK sorry, so, your uh... part's had a busy weekend? There's a bit of a language barrier. Pretty sure it was last spotted in Chinatown so... this might take a while. Do you still want to do the hand-off in person? I could just... stuff it in your mail slot or something?"
You texted back "NO" faster than anything in your life, then clarified that that was to the mail slot plan, but the long and short of it was that you did not, in fact, reunite with your favorite appendage on Sunday.
Nor on Monday. Or Tuesday. Jenny was still giving you updates as she could, but the more time that passed here, the less likely it seemed you were going to get it back at all. Work was damn rough all week, more people calling out sick, people getting weird about... this whole thing all over. Best plan you were able to think of was to act like nothing was wrong, you still had your dick, and hopefully you could properly hunt it down over the weekend. Or work something out.
By Thursday though you really were starting to get a bit on edge about those rumors you'd heard about long term effects. About two weeks in now there was still no official talk anywhere about all this, but late night talk shows were full of innuendo, shady internet sites were really bugging out, and eventually you couldn't help but check back with the first... sort of reliable sources and... oh yeah, finding some before and after shots of guys who'd lost their junk when this first started and never got it back, they absolutely looked like women. And spending all this time on porn sites confirming that was having kind of an effect on you that you really weren't comfortable with, so you quickly closed those out and tried to think about baseball or something.
You definitely needed to deal with this situation this weekend.