“Why don’t we have a last name?” I asked.
“A what?” I squinted in response… not that you’d see it, but I’m sure you felt it, “What’s a ‘last’ name? Is it like a nickname or something?”
“Not… really?” I replied, “It’s a name that comes after your given name that you share with your parents and siblings, and sometimes cousins and aunts and uncles. Like a family name!”
“Oh! A family name!” I realized, “Yeah, that’s not how things roll on this planet. A family name is different from a person’s name here. For example, my name is Toshio, and my family name is Higashkita. Word of advice, family names are only ever used if you’re being formal. In formal terms I would be called Toshio of the Higashkita Family, or of Family Higashkita… both are correct. Just don’t go around introducing yourself or greeting others like that, or else you’ll sound like a stuffy, uppity ass-hole.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I supposed, “but what if I called myself Toshio Higashkita? What if I worded it like that?”
“See, to me that just sounds like I have two names,” I explained, “I only have the one, and I come from the Higashkita Family. Just the one name! Just the one!”
“So… like Madonna?”
“Like pretty much most people.”
“Hang on, is there a singer called Madonna in this world?”
With a sigh, I answered your question with a yes. That bit of news was certainly pleasing to hear. It at least meant that most of the music would be recognizable in this world.
“Let me interrupt your train of thought for a quick moment,” I cut in, “because I just realized that there’s something else you should oughta know about the people here!”
“What’s this extra thing I oughta know?”
“Okay,” I began, “First, I’m just gonna assume you know what humans are because… come on. I’m also going to assume that you understand that there are three different sexes, and that sexes and genders are two different things.”
“Wait, three sexes?! I thought there were only two?!?!”
“Ohmygodyourekillingmesmalls… Okay. There are three basic sexes, and too many genders to count. The sexes are male, female, and futa. Which did you not have back in your old world?”
“Futa?”
“Okay so you come from a world without futas? That’s lame. Futas have both a dick and a pussy, see? Also whether they got boobs or not doesn’t matter! Okay, are we good? Does that straighten things out for you? Yes? Good.
“Okay so back to where I was with the people of this planet… besides humans there’s two other groups. They’re called animen and programs. Animen are human animal hybrids that started showing up only one generation after Paraphore-Kame landed on Earth. They’re usually mammals, birds, reptiles, and amphibians. You don’t see a lot of fish or invertebrate animen. Programs are sentient clusters of computer code taken humanoid form. They’re made of a kind of hard light that tricks your eyes into thinking they’re two dimensional. They have some crazy looks to them, too, all multicolored and stuff.
“By the way, yes all three can fuck and make babies. The less you think about it the better.”
“Three species… wow,” I drank in Old Toshio’s explanation, “That sounds a lot more fun than back home, but the thought of… well having babies with other species is… like just on a biology standpoint it shouldn’t be feasible! It’s the Paraphore’s genetic manipulation, right?”
“Absolutely,” I nodded, “You pick up fast, me!”
“Oh! Thanks!” I blushed, “Okay, next question!”