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The Magic Shop

A tip for the pizza dude

added by Buzzbuzz 18 years ago BM O

You get a couple sodas out of the fridge and give one to Stephanie. "Don't have much to eat, but let's order out for pizza."

"What's pizza?" asked Stephanie, now about three feet tall and sipping her soda with both hands.

"It's... It's what people who can't cook order. But it's good."

I got the phone and ordered a large pepperoni, which seemed a safe enough bet, then got to chatting with Stephanie, who mentioned, "I gave ye the power to change all sorts of things. Why don't you change the person who brings the pizza? It will be a good prank."

I raised my eyebrows. "Well, it'll probably be Jack, and he's a nice enough guy. Kind of a loser, but I wouldn't want to mess him up."

She grinned, mischief dancing in each green eye. "Well then, why not grant him his hearts desire, whatever that is? Just say 'May you gain your heart's desire' as a way of blessing when he leaves?"

That seemed like a reasonable plan, though I think I also followed her mischief: most folk aren't prepared to deal with their heart's desire.

In any case, Jack showed up with the pizza and I paid him, giving him a smallish tip mostly because I'm broke, but told him, 'May you gain your heart's desire' as instructed.

At once, Jack froze, then he suddenly swelled up and turned into Conan. And not Conan O'Brian, but a twenty-something Arnold Schwarzenagger with black hair, a sword and a loin cloth.

"Where is the Temple of the Snake People?" he demanded, leveling his huge glistening sword at my throat.

"Uh..." I said, then said the first thing that came into my head. "Uh, three blocks down, on the left. Big temple, can't miss it."

"Blessings of Krom, bondsman," Conan, the former Jack said, hefting his sword then turned and strode away.

I shut the door and turned to Stephanie. "I just sicced Conan on the Jehovah's Witnesses." I gulped. "Want pizza?"


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