You gingerly touch your nose; it’s perfectly round and feels almost rubbery. “No, this can’t be real, he he ya ha, I must be dreaming. Or stoned. I must have gotten high before getting on the plane, he he ya ha.” Without thinking you squeeze your nose. HONK!
“It’s no dream, he he ya ha,” your chauffer says. Honk! “And you're not high either, he he ya ha." Honk! "I suggest you take off your shoes he he ya ha; otherwise it’s gonna get painful.” Honk! Honk!
You do as she says; to your utter shock almost as soon as the shoes and socks are off your feet expand right before your eyes into a size twenty while your skin fades in color, getting paler by the second until it’s as white as snow.
“Figures,, he he ya ha.” Behind the two-way mirror you hear your chauffer giggle and honk her nose again. “High level executive types like you always become whitefaces, he he ya ha. Then those in the middle are auguste like me, he he ya ha, and at the very bottom are the hoboes, tramps, and bag ladies doing all the lowly messy work, he he ya ha.” Honk! Honk!
“That’s- that’s terrible, he he ya ha.” Despite how aghast you feel, you still giggle-and now notice the jolly lilt in your voice. “It’s like, he he ya ha, some kind of caste system with no upward mobility.” Again on impulse you honk your nose.
“It’s not so bad, he he ya ha.” Honk! “Those of us who came from outside like you were already in that kind of state, he he ya ha. And the kids here who were born as clowns, they don’t know any different, he he ya ha.” Honk! Honk! “Besides, here we have no crime, or poverty-yeah, the hoboe and others dress in rags but they’re clothes are designed to be ragged, he he ya ha.” Honk! Honk! “Everyone here has full bellies and a roof over their heads, he he ya ha.” Honk! Honk! “Compared to the rest of the country, we’re a great place to live, he he ya ha.” Honk!
Suddenly you realize the limo has turned into a curve and stopped. “Alright, we’ve arrived at your new home, he he ya ha, “she says and honks her nose. “Before getting out and meeting your new housemates, he he ya ha, have a look at the new and greatly improved you.” Honk! Honk!
You stare at your reflection in the two-way mirror. Your ‘make-up’ is rather simple, aside from your nose. Your lips are bright red and stretched into a wide smile, although you don’t feel like you are smiling. A softer red colors your cheeks like blush, and your eyes are outlined in black with tiny black triangles at the bottom. Your eyebrows have become wide black arches that stretch up to your forehead.
The biggest change is your hair, it has gone from brown/blonde to a yell/orange mass wavy mass that stretches halfway across your shoulders. But on top-.
YOU”RE BALD!