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The Zoo

A challenging drive back home

added A year ago A BM

Nothing in this world is designed for takes, you lament in frustration. Even getting into your own car is troublesome, and you probably have to figure out a solution on your own.

Could resting your lower torso on the folded-down driver seat work, since your legs are so long they could easily reach the pedals from that point anyway? Anything's worth a try at this point, the risk of permanent spine injury be damned.

You first open the driver-side back door, leaning your upper torso inside, then carefully engaging the folding mechanism on the driver seat until it lies nearly completely flat. Then you exit and close the door and maneuver yourself to the passenger side, opening the back door, bending down (or you're hitting your head on the roof) and entering the back seats from there, surprised that the backseat area could fit your whole body. If someone else were driving, you could squeeze your hindquarters through the pass-through into the trunk, but since you know have to occupy the driver's seat, you bend towards the driving wheel, and grab the driver's panel tight, using it as an anchor; then your forelegs step over the laid-flat drivers seat, stretching to touch the pedals, and your lower torso scoots onto the seat, eventually laying itself flat over the whole seat, the belly resting neatly on it. To sum up, now your upper torso and forelegs are placed like a sitting human driver would, though you have to duck a bit to avoid hitting the ceiling, while your lower torso and hindquarters lay neatly on the laid-flat drivers seat, the hind legs hanging off the seat. You try to press on the brake pedal, and it is successfully engaged. Confident, you press on the gas pedal, and start to drive back home, your muscle memory fortunately intact, though you have to be a little more careful with traffic lights.

Once you park your car in the driveway, you open the driver side front door, then try to exit like you normally would, only that the hind legs are hooked to the laid-flat drivers seat, stopping you from exiting. This caboose is getting more and more annoying. You try to force your upper torso and front legs out the door, hoping that the hooked hind legs would fold the seat back up and free your hindquarters, but your backside just won't budge. Dismayed, you lean forwards to unhook your back legs, allowing them to step on the cushion of the drivers seat; now your front body can exit as you've always used to, your back half trailing behind. Once your entire body is outside of the car, you make a U-turn on the spot ("turning around" doesn't really apply to a taur) to face your car, fold the drivers seat back up, and close the door. That's the hardest part sorted.


What do you do now?


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