The side door is a sliding one, though currently locked (keep in mind that you just directly entered your lawn without going through the front door or a locked gate, so this is a necessary security measure). You unlock it and slide it open, step inside, and turn your upper torso around to slide the door shut — only to see your lower torso being clamped between the door and the wall. You have to slid e the door back open such that your back half is freed and you can step forward. Now you find yourself having to stretch a bit to reach the door with your upper torso turned around, even if you then leaned forwards (towards your tail, as you then face your hindquarters), so you find it easier to make a U-turn on the spot to slam the door tightly shut, then make a U-turn again to reorient yourself, even if it takes a few more steps. It's been hours and you are still not accustomed to the presence of the caboose, you blame yourself. At least you're now familiar with most types of doors. (Therefore, descriptions of opening and closing doors will be henceforth omitted.)
Nature calls, so you head to the washroom, turning left near the door to the kitchen. Seeing the toilet bowl, you try to turn your lower body around with a similar muscle memory to when you were a human, only to feel your hindquarters smashing into the wall. Turning it around in the other direction works, only to feel your butt colliding with the side of your toilet bowl. You turn your upper torso around, and with the back half in sight, you hoist it up and set it on the toilet seat, only to find that your entire body now tried to lean forward (away from the toilet seat). You fold your hind legs up until they touch your lower belly, and your butt is not connected to the toilet seat. The current setup, with the upper torso and front legs resembling a standing human and your hindquarters resembling a lain dog, is fine, but you worry that your pee would wet your backside this way, when a footstool enters your sight. Turning back forwards and extending a front leg forward, you manage to drag the footstool to yourself. You then step your forelegs on the stool, such that your lower torso is sloped, i.e. your posterior resembles a sitting dog. Satisfied, you relieve yourself. And to think that you would have let yourself go in your lawn, like an uncivilized animal and in the sight of your old pet-averse neighbour, with the trouble of picking up after yourself afterwards! Instead, you simply step forwards down the stool, your back half standing itself back on the floor, make another steady U-turn, and press the button to flush away your stool and urine, wiping your arse be damned (you'd have to bend your upper torso very far backwards to reach there anyway).
Goodness gracious, you smell musky. Maybe it's time to shower yourself. You step your forelegs and then your hindlegs into the bathtub, open the faucet, and begin to wonder how you would clean your whole body. Especially the underbelly, and by extension your back half (since U-turns are challenging as the walls of the bathtub will restrict your hindquarters' movement), which cannot be reached by the steam of water from the shower if you leave it on the holder, meaning you have to manually grab the shower head and reach behind.
With your plan ready, you aim your muzzle towards the water stream, with your eyes shut and ears flopped down (water entering the ear canals can easily cause inflammation) and only then realize why dogs don't like showers: the fur would mat together, though that doesn't defeat the sensation of hot water on your skin. You the raise your arms and tilt your upper torso to allow the jet stream to hit your arms, followed by the armpits. Afterwards you step back slightly (dogs can walk backwards; not all quadrupeds can) and tilt the shower holder downwards to let the water fall on the front of your upper torso, then your upper waist and finally the front legs.
After that you have to grab the shower head for the remainder of your body. You aim it at the back of your head, then your upper torso, surprised to find that the water now runs down the sides of the lower torso where it connects to the front legs (instead of your buttocks when you were human). Afterwards, you aim it at the top of your lower torso, and then the sides.
Here comes the most difficult part: your underbelly and rump. You fold your upper torso forwards until you can reach between your forelegs and by extension your lower belly with your handpaws and your head can see your underbelly, then aim the shower head there, followed by the back and bottom of your forelegs and the front and bottom of your hindlegs (to clean the bottom of the legs (i.e. the paws), you have to lift them one by one, but you find it easier to balance yourself, making this the only step that is easier to manage with four legs). Then your torso rebounds and stretches towards your rump, until your hand can touch it, and aim your showerhead at the arse, the tail, and finally the baclk of your hindlegs.
That's your entire body covered. You step your forelegs then your handles out of the bathtub, then head to the hairdryer next to your sofa. Drying yourself with the hairdryer follows a similar procedure as with showering yourself. Both procedures combined took you a whopping fifty minutes. Whew.
At least you're clean now. You're not sure what to do next, but in any case it won't involve leaving your house.