You were camping in the Pine Barrens with your friend Emma, of course hunting for the Jersey Devil. Being a bit boyish, you always had more of an interest in monster hunting and cryptozoology than all of the softball and dance classes all the other girls had grown up doing. However, this difference made it hard to find friends that would indulge you in this interest and you barely managed to get Emma to come along at the last second before school let out for spring break. She wasn't super adventurous, but this camping trip was only supposed to be three days and she thought it would be a nice change of pace from her dorm life.
"I still can't believe we slept in until noon out in the middle of nowhere," Emma said while you walked from the campsite.
"I'm glad we did," you answered. "Those tents ate up my entire month's paycheck, so they better be worth it." The two of you didn't have any goal in mind of where to go and what to look for-- obviously, there's no way the Jersey Devil could be real, but there were at least some old monuments and ruins to look for and take pictures at.
"You wouldn't have had to spend so much on tents if we just got a hotel room nearby," Emma insisted for the thousandth time. She began to walk ahead of you because you were approaching a hill.
You yelled to her, smirking, "That sounds like bitchass Pennsylvania talking!"
Emma groaned. "Shut up, Debbie! You grew up in a big city too, you know!" Then she tripped.
In true "blink and you'll miss it" fashion, Emma had faceplanted on the forest floor in no time at all, apparently kicking something metallic judging by the sound her foot made when she went down. You knelt down and helped her up.
"Damn, you okay?" you asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She whimpered. "You got any beer in your bag?"
"Left them all at the campsite, sorry," you told her. After a spectacular fall like that, you hardly thought she needed intoxication. As you helped pull leaves out of her dirty blonde hair, you remarked, "Good thing we were going uphill because there wasn't a whole lot of distance between you and the ground."
"What the hell did I even trip on?" Emma asked, getting a bit annoyed. She brushed your hands away and you both looked to the ground where she had tripped. From your perspective higher up on the hill, you could see the object reflecting the sunlight shining through the trees, whereas before it was blocked by the unkempt grass and weeds. It was a weird brass tube, and it seemed strangely clean for being out in the woods for god-knows-how-long. You reached down and picked it up.
Emma, still fixing her clothes, asked the obvious question. "What is it?"
You twirled and rotated the faintly glowing object in your hands until you saw the carving on one of the sides. "Uhhh, rectum?"
Suddenly, the object burst into a ball of orange light, tearing the clothes from both of your bodies and absolutely destroying your bags and all the cameras, water, and granola bars inside them. All the ambient noise in the woods seemed to be drowned out by the deafening silence of the light, but you knew you weren't deafened because Emma started shrieking. She was shielding her eyes from the light while you had simply shut them as you instinctually covered your lady bits with your arms.
You wanted to scream "What the fuck is happening?" but you didn't. How the fuck was Emma supposed to know? In the chaos, you could feel a shifting sensation under your right palm, the hand covering your vagina. The feeling in your palm seemed to be moving towards the ground. Then suddenly you were stricken with pleasure as you could feel your clitoris brushing past the top of your palm (also known as the MCP joints). You buckled thanks to the pleasure, a strange sensitivity that almost made you cum just from that brush. The buckling movement then made you sick, distracting you from the pleasure. It felt like you had overeaten, or that your insides were moving around. When that pain had subsided, you noticed that you couldn't feel anything under your hand anymore. Trepedaciously, you opened your eyes, finding the light was not actually that blinding and lifted your hand to see what was going on down there.
Nothing, apparently, was going on. Between your legs was nothing but a flat valley. You joined Emma in screaming, frantically trying to find some opening to finger, and came up empty. It looked like some artist had drawn sketches of character poses and didn't include any features on the body. Oh god, was your face suddenly missing?
You didn't have time to think about that, as you had new sensations to worry about. Internally, a bunch of tubes were connecting, fusing, and overall sticking together. Your asscrack also felt smoother, like it was hairless. Another wave of pleasure radiating from your clitoris washed over you debilitating your ability to move. How is that possible? Your clit wasn't there anymore. As the orange light finally faded, you were getting a strange feeling coming from your asshole, or was it your vagina? Why was it so hard to distinguish the two? After a few minutes of panic, both you and Emma stopped screaming, and she opened her eyes as you swung around to look at her. The twisting of your hips sent another shock of pleasure through your clitoris, and you finally fell from your crumpled position induced by all the other twinges of orgasm. Emma was hyperventilating nearby, so in your exasperated state, you looked up at her and found her staring wide-eyed at a giant, red, prehensile penis attached to her crotch.