Bweeeeeee. The harsh sounds of the couch’s whistle echoed across the gymnasium and everyone trying out for the basketball team stopped what they were doing as Mr Muller cried, “Christopher?! What in the hell is it you think you’re doing?”
“Just trying to help everyone trying out. Give them some encouragement,” Chris called out, which got him a number of sniggers.
Coach Muller glared at him and retorted, “No. What you’re doing if playing basketball like a girl. This isn’t the girl’s team. You want to act like some like that, you can go try out for the girl’s team. Now, I want to see some hustle. I want to see some action. Stop prancing around and get with the programme. Do I make myself clear?” and with another blow on his whistle, he started to bark out commands, insulting and berating them as he did.
Displeased with the way couch treated them, but even more with himself and for the way he’d acted, Chris tried to focus on what he doing, but found it difficult to do so. Since he’d used the Amulet of Zulo to turn himself back into a guy, it seemed as if there was still something about the girl he’d been that lingered. He couldn’t figure out why, but could see it in some of his actions, with the way he’d had been practicing for a place on the basketball team the latest.
There had been any number of incidents over the last month. He’d tried to use the girl’s bathroom on a number of occasions, and had caught and stopped himself at the last moment. Several times he’d almost gone up to girls to ask about outfits they had on, thinking them cute, to talk to them about boys, the music they were listening to, what they did over the summer, or something or other. And the one or two times he’d gone over to the mall, he’d almost gone into stores aimed at teenage girls. But what scared him the most was the feelings he had, the beliefs, that he should be a girl.
Troubled by all this, he’d tried to get ahold of Lee to see if he was experiencing any side-effects, but so far had had no luck. When he’d spoken to Tanya about it a couple times, after she’d gotten over her surprise that he’d found a way to turn himself back into a guy, she reassured him that it would pass and things would go back to normal each time.
But things hadn’t. Thinking that, if he didn’t know any better, things were getting worse, he passed the ball, and unaware he was doing so, clapped his hands and called out, “All right. We can do this,” which got him a number of looks.
He had thought, shortly after he’d become aware of the issues he was experiencing, that how Lee solved his problem might be the answer. But after trying the amulet on a number of shirts, all in his size, he was disappointed when it seemed not to work. Frustrated that it seemed so, he was at a loss as to what else he could do, which was when he’d started trying to get ahold of Lee, then asking Tanya for her advice.
With a sharp sound from his whistle, couch Miller signalled the end of try-outs. Worried that what he’d hoped would take his mind off his problems hadn’t worked, Chris listened as the couch belted out, “All right ladies, line up,” and falling in with the other guys, he listened as the couch said, “That was by far the sloppiest ball play I have ever seen in my career. Michael! Don’t you know what your hands are for? Doyle! The ball goes in the basket, not next to it, ya’ numpty. Ryan, you may be the tallest to apply for the team, but you’re as clumsy as an oxen, and possibly as stupid to boot. Tobias, start exercising. Regularly. And Chris. Jesus, what the hell are you doing out there?! Are you a girl? Are you trying out for the girl’s basketball team? Cause you’re sure the hell acting like it.
“The rest of you, whilst not bad, aren’t good. Not by a long shot. What all of you need is practice, discipline. And lots of it. You keep at it, and when I list who makes the cut for the team, you may find yourself listed. And the same goes for you five. You need the rigours of practice and discipline the worse. In fact, I want to see you give it your best, starting now. Fifty laps each, then hit the showers,” and blowing his whistle, he belted out, “Now get out of my sight, all of you,” before he turned and marched toward locker room with most of the boys following.
Coated in a thick sheen of sweat, Chris found all he wanted was a shower, a change of clothes, and to go home and forget the fiasco practice had been. But knowing that coach Miller would accept no excuses, would only berate and verbally abuse him some more, he began the fifty laps expected of him.
Lost in thought, he listened as his trainers struck the hard wood floor of the gymnasium, and ignored the others, with Tobias making the most noise as he puffed along. He wanted an answer that would rid him of the stupid feelings, behaviour, that had plagued him since he’d returned to being male. But he feared that either his sister was right, and it would take time, or that he was right, and that in turning himself back, something about his reality had shifted and now he was a boy who wanted to be a girl.
“I don’t want to be a girl,” he thought to himself, and was disturbed to find he hadn’t really meant it.
Wanting nothing more than for it to be true, to mean it, he continued to think that he didn’t want to be female as he tried to convince himself he was happy as a male. Finishing his laps ahead of the other four, he headed for the locker room, where he showered, wrapped a towel around his torso, realised what he’d done, tore it off, and began to dry himself off as he headed for the lockers. Dressed before the others appeared in the locker room, he collected his backpack, crammed his gym clothes in a bag and into the pack, and stalked out of the locker room. Collecting his bike, he rode home.
Still without a solution to his problem by the time he got home, he dumped his backpack near the front door, took out his dirty clothes, which his mom would be upset if he left in his bag, deposited them in the laundry room, and went to give Lee a call.
For not the first time, a woman answered the phone. When he asked for Lee, she apologised and said, “I’m sorry, but you just missed him. He’s out with one of his friends and should be back in a couple hours.” Thanking her, Chris again asked for her to pass on the message that Chris had called before he hung up.
At a loss what to do next, he was startled when a female voice told him, “You ever stop to think that, maybe, just maybe, the reason he doesn’t return your calls is because he doesn’t know who you are? That in using the Amulet of Zulo, you changed reality in ways beyond what you thought?” and looking over his shoulder as Tanya, Chris found himself flabbergasted that he hadn’t even considered this.
Mad at himself that he hadn’t considered this, Chris spat out, “Dammit,” then added, “Well, if you have any other ideas, I’d like to hear them,” before he started to walk away.
Only having gone a step or two, he stopped when his sister stated, “I did have an idea as to how to solve your problem. But, you’re probably not going to like it,” and turning to look at her, Chris crossed his arms across his chest and glared at his sister.
She wanted to point out that, the way her brother was standing was how a girl would stand when mad. But she held her tongue and instead waited until he asked, “So? What’s your idea?” and in as serious a tone as she could muster, Tanya explained, “I think it’s obvious. Becoming a girl in the first place awoke something within you that you didn’t know was there. So, why don’t you just use the Amulet of Zulo to become a girl? This time, for good.”
“I do not want to be a girl,” Chris tried to holler, but was dismayed when his remark came out in a feeble whimper as something within him rebelled against the comment.
With a shrug, even as she heard the subtly in what he brother told her, and Tanya offered, “Okay. If that’s the way you feel about it. But, if you ever change your mind, I’ll be glad to help in any way I can.”
Temper getting the best of him, Chris almost told her where she could take her help and shove it. But, at the last minute, he gave a curt nod, turned and stalked upstairs to his room. Shutting his bedroom door, he retrieved the Amulet of Zulo from where he’d hidden it and flopped down on his bed. Peering intently at the twisted image on one side, the name of necklace printed on the other, he asked himself, “Is Tanya right? Is the answer to my problem that I always wanted to be a girl? That I didn’t know it until she turned me into one last month?” but having no answer to any of these questions, or any of the others eating at him, Chris huffed aloud, “No. I do not want to be female,” and was dismayed to find he still didn’t sound like he meant it.