Kevin let out a low whistle as he walked through the gleaming hallway, looking around. This place was SWANK he admitted to himself as he pulled unsuccessfully at the top of the banana. He tugged harder, grunting in frustration until the top fifth came off. The yellowish white fruit was mangled, but he peeled and bit into it anyway as he looked around.
To say that the décor was heavy handed, though, would have been an understatement as they had leaned heavily into the jungle theme. Indoor palm and mangrove trees lined the walkways; rope ladders and swings dangled from just about anywhere they could fit one. And where the walls weren't covered, they proudly displayed environmental facts and achievements the company was obviously proud of. The wall immediately across from the entrance proudly displayed at least 10 Environmental Building Certifications: LEED, Energy Star, you name it. All at what Kevin assumed was the highest level of achievement.
"We get it! Jesus! Get over yourselves." He scoffed, continuing to gnaw at the banana as he followed signage towards the "Blockchain Living Quarters" God, these people didn't know the word subtle. He rolled his eyes again.
He passed by a number of closed doors before stopping before the entrance to what looked like a massive gym, complete with all of the equipment he might need, a trampoline, and more than one jungle-gym. And did he see trapeze swings hooked to the ceiling? What the fuck?
He whistled to himself after he finished the banana, tossing it unceremoniously over his shoulder onto the floor, not even close to the nearest garbage can. All inclusive janitorial services, right? He had to stop for a moment as he was hit with a brief but intense headache. He just hadn't had any caffeine today, he figured, so he shrugged it off and kept walking.
From here the building opened up as he noticed an open second floor, complete with more vegetation and dangling pieces of wood and rope. Ok, their interior decorator needed to be fired. This was just excessive at this point.
He froze, hearing the boisterous sound of laughter somewhere nearby as he followed it curiously. It was coming from the direction he was headed, anyway, and he soon came up on what must be the facility's commissary as he peaked inside. A troop of guys about his age lounged in a sitting area, chatting and sipping on drinks in thick plastic cups.
He felt mixed about this revelation--on the one hand, he was relieved he hadn't been the only sucker to fall for this place's promises. Despite having fallen for this obvious bait-and-switch, Kevin wasn't stupid--just impulsive, with a bit of an obsessive personality. On the other hand, what if they were diehard fans of this ridiculous place? Ugh, maybe it'd be better if he was here alone.
Before he could slink away to continue on his self-guided tour, one of the guys looked up and caught sight of him. "Hey dude! Welcome! Come take a seat and grab some grub." The other guys, at least 10 of them, all looked over at the newcomer. Fuck. He couldn't sneak away now without looking like a total asshole. Gritting his teeth, he resolved to be cordial and excuse himself as quickly as possible so he could go hide in his room.
As he approached, he passed a salad bar: plates and silverware on either side, with various salad dressings neatly set next to more bowls of fruit. Again, more bananas. And mangoes. This place had better not be vegetarian only, God.. He hoped his grimace counted as a smile as he sat in a chair while everyone watched.
"Welcome, my dude! I'm Marcus." The jock grinned at him, reaching out with a fistbump, which Kevin awkwardly returned. He had a bright smile with thick brown mutton chops framing his square face and deep brown eyes. His spikey brown hair jutted out from the hole in the green baseball cap he was wearing. He sported a simple white t-shirt under an open green Letterman's Jacket with Greek letters artfully stitched into the shoulder and back with gold lettering.
ΩΩΚ
"Kevin. Hi." He sat stiffly as he was introduced to the parade of names and faces he didn't have any intention of remembering. He relaxed a little when one of them shoved a cup into his open hands, which he peered into curiously. Beer! In what was obviously a dishwasher-safe stein. He sniffed at it curiously before taking a sip. Ah, a Lager. It had a sweet note to it that he couldn't quite place, but he found it potable as he brought it to his lips.
He looked around curiously for the bar, which he fully intended to take advantage of during his inconvenient stay. If I'm being forced to stay, I'm going to make sure they lose money on me this week. He snickered internally. His eyes scanned over a pool table and a beer-pong table, realizing that he'd seen this location in the video. Continuing, his eyes finally landed on the bar on the opposite side of the room next to...
"Hey, that's my NFT! I didn't give them permission to use that!" He pointed to the fireplace across the room above which he saw the image he created, proudly displayed along with 15 others. He stood up angrily to get a better look and surely enough, there was his Monkey grinning dopily back at him. Underneath, he saw his name embossed in bold capital letters.
KEV
A sharp clap on his back had him coughing up his beer as Marcus joined him in front of the wall. "Isn't it dope? They put us all up. Look, there's mine." He pointed, obviously proud of himself. How had he managed to get his Monkey to have a matching Letterman? Kevin couldn't even recall seeing that option, and he'd been pretty thorough. He rolled his eyes. At least he knew that the place wasn't a complete bait and switch.
He allowed himself to relax after that, though the beer had definitely played its part in that. A lot of the guys, it turns out, had been in a pretty similar situation to him. At least he was in like company here. He lost himself in conversation and drink as they laughed together, playing Billiards and even Beer Pong, and he even found himself eagerly introducing himself in turn as a couple of late-comers arrived.
The occasional headaches would bother him only momentarily, before being quickly forgotten as he laughed stupidly while eating another banana and listening to a heated conversation about which GPU was best for mining bitcoin. He didn't even care as the voices of those yelling over each other seemed to get more and more shrill and screechy as the night wore on.
----
Kevin stumbled to his room, drunk and horny, and rubbing his tailbone. He must've bumped it at some point in the night, though in his current state he couldn't remember what might've caused it. Still, the dull throbbing concerned him. He'd have to investigate it further in the morning--a problem for Future Kevin.
He immediately knew which room was his, as it had his NFT Monkey framed above the door, and the door was labeled with his name. Actually kind of handy, if you think about it. He trudged into the room, closing the door clumsily behind him before stripping off his clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor. Naked and exhausted, he collapsed on the small bed and pulled out his phone with the intention of texting Samantha to give her an update.
Upon opening their text conversation, however, he was quickly distracted by a picture she'd recently sent him of her tits and he soon found himself rolling onto his back, hand between his legs as he quickly grew aroused. Squeezing and shaking his balls for a moment, he rubbed his forefinger up and down the shaft before wagging his cock up and down by the base as it hardened.
His eyes traced the outline of his girlfriend's tits, admiring the cleavage and their pert shape.
He readjusted, bending his legs slightly as he pulled the pillow behind his head to get more comfortable. He pulled on the head of his cock as he moaned softly, his breathing deepening. "Ahhhhhhh yeah...."
He focused on her tits, their wide areolas surrounding thick nipples that stuck out, erect and teasing him. The eyes of the breasts.
He breathed in and out as he began to pump, making sure to position his thumb in a way that it would continuously bump against the frenulum of his dick--he knew what he liked as he expertly teased himself. "Ahhhhh. Ahhhh fuck yeah."
He looked up to her face as she made a sexy expression in the photo, her beautiful hazel eyes staring back at him in the darkness from the bright screen.
He moaned, tossing his phone onto the bed as he adjusted again, bending his legs further, his feet coming to meet each other in the middle as he flexed and unflexed them. He'd been on his feet all day and they were pretty sore. He continued to pump as his other hand circled his balls, pulling at them a bit. "Aahhhhh. Fuck yeah. Aahhhhh FUCK yeah!"
You know who had nice eyes? Marcus. Those deep pools of chocolate...
He cleared his throat. That was a little weird, but OK? He readjusted again and continued to flex his feet, his toes curling and uncurling as he tried to recapture the rising feeling in his loins. He slapped his cock up and down on his belly a couple of times and licked his thumb, rubbing it across the sensitive head. "Aaahhhhh....Oooohhhhh yeahh..... Ooooooh yeahhh..... Fuck."
His eyes weren't his only nice features. He had a great smile, and those mutton chops...
He started to get there, his breath heaving in and out and starting to get ragged. He yawned, stretching his jaw for a moment before continuing to moan. "Ooohh, oooohhhhh....ooohhhhh..."
...and those muscles. He looked great in that Letterman.
"Ooohhh. Oohh, oooh..."
How good would he look in only that Letterman?
"Ooh ooh, oo ook."
...with his long dick jutting out proudly.
Wait, what?
Kevin saw stars as he unloaded all over his stomach, a thick white glob hitting him in the chin as he panted. His dick continued to spurt thick ropes of cum onto his hairy belly before it slowed down and drooled lazily into his bellybutton. He struggled to catch his breath as he felt his entire body tingle from the increased blood pressure. That had been one of the most intense orgasms he had ever experienced! God damn!
He wiped himself off with the sheets and rolled over, wondering idly why he'd imagined Marcus at the end there, but found himself quickly losing consciousness.
That would be a problem for Future Kevin.
----
Kevin stirred and moaned pathetically. He was absolutely hung over. He slapped his cheeks and rubbed his eyes as his hands rubbed by thick ears. He tried to recall the previous night's events, but found himself struggling to think clearly, as though he were trying to focus through a glass barrier. He sighed, realizing he was tangled in the crusty bedsheets. And he'd forgotten to text Samantha!
He rolled over and began to search for his phone as he dug through the sheets unsuccessfully. He groaned and willed himself to get out of bed so he could search better before he stopped, suddenly realizing his room no longer had a door!
In a panic, he dashed out of potential view of people in the hall as he frantically scanned the ground for his clothes, again coming up short. Where the FUCK was his stuff?
He turned to the armoire, hoping against hope that he'd somehow stashed his stuff out of sight in his drunken stupor. A dry, shocked laugh escaped him as he opened it, unbelieving. The only things inside were a blue-and-white Hawaiian shirt, a blue-and-white baseball cap which proudly bore the familiar Greek lettering across the front:
ΩΩΚ
Har Har Har, VERY Funny.
Oh, and of course a pair of reflective blue Ray-Ban Sunglasses.
Incensed and embarrassed now, he started to tear the room apart looking for his shit before he caught sight of himself in the mirror on the wall. And he screamed.