“Let’s load up you apes!” Coach Chase shouted over the rowdy pack of teens as the charter bus for the away game pulled up to the curb.
The jocks at the front of the pack began loading their bulging duffle bags into the undercarriage of the bus before heading inside to grab a seat, and the rest of the group slowly lurched forward to fill the void. Seth and Max were at the back of the line talking strategy, even though the game was bound to be a cinch to win, they still found the banter really enjoyable.
“All I’m saying is, he’d better use the rushing opportunity and hand off to his receiver tonight.”
“Exactly! But whenever things get tight, he forgets to create space for his offensive linemen and split the sweep!”
“Hey Bro!” Brian called out as he joined his younger brother and Max at the back of the line.
The boys exchanged fist bumps and Seth told his brother about all his and Max's new classes. Seth was clearly overjoyed, but Max couldn't help but grimace slightly at the reminder.
“That’s awesome…” Brian said, seeming distracted as he pawed through his duffle. ” You guys really got screwed over with your schedules this year… School’s never supposed to be THAT hard… It’s about time they put things right…”
“Whatcha lookin’ for Bri?”
“I can’t find my mouthguard. I always keep it clipped to my helmet, but it isn’t there… Shit… Coach isn’t gonna let me play without it… Imma go search my locker, don’t let them leave without me!”
Without waiting for a response, Brian turned and ran back into the school. Seth closed up Brian's duffle and foisted it onto his other shoulder as he and Max continued to inch ahead in line. He knew there wasn’t anything they could do to delay the bus, they just had to hope he’d make it back in time.
“He’ll make it… He’s got time.” Seth said with an uncertain nod.
—---------------------------------------------------
Brian dashed straight to the locker room and effortlessly slid past the janitor as he was pulling his cart out of the entryway. When he reached his locker he frantically entered his padlock combination while eagerly peering through the thick metal mesh, searching for any hint of his mouthgard’s neon rubber body. At once he threw the door open and exclaimed “BINGO!” as his eyes immediately landed on the sad little mouthguard sitting forgotten in the corner, its broken silicone strap still partly attached.
As he excitedly reached inside to grab the guard, he suddenly felt himself being seized from behind! A strong smelling, purple, cotton cloth was being forced over his nose. He struggled to break free but whoever was behind him was getting stronger and stronger, or perhaps he was getting weaker. His head began to feel light and airy as dizziness set in. He tried to scream but the cloth was more than enough to muffle his cries over the sound of the janitor’s Spanish music that was now blaring from the adjacent boy’s locker room. Before Brian even had time to process what was happening, tunnel vision gave way to darkness.
—----------------------------------------------------
“Wake up coach…” A raspy voice whispered in Brian's ear. “LETS SEE SOME HUSTLE!”
A solid, heavy object plowed into the side of Brian's head sending his entire body lurching in an arch. The startling jolt brought him painfully back to reality. He glanced around the dim room, still dazed, he could make out enough to know he was in some sort of basement or boiler room. By craning his neck he was able to make out a purple, graphic t-shirt that had been freshly thrown into the rear corner. He could smell a sweet aroma of hospital disinfectant emanating from it even from where he was sitting, or perhaps it had left some sort of residue on his face...
Out of the corner of his eye he could barely make out the textbook that had struck him in the head. It was poised at his right side, ready for a follow-up strike.
“Wha…” He began weakly, pausing to moisten his mouth… “What’s going on? Where am I?”
Brian struggled to stand, to move his arms, but he found he was tied to a chair.
“Look Coach Danton, we don’t need to draw this out any longer than necessary.” The raspy voice replied from somewhere behind Brian, lost in the shadows. “Just tell me where the Jacket is.”
“Coach Danton?.. You mean my dad? He’s on a business trip, scouting in Texas. I-”
“I SAID WAKE UP!” The voice screamed again.
Brian was startled and shaken when the book struck again from his left side, he must have lost track of where it was.
“You know what I’m talking about Coach Danton. Or did that jacket already do more of a number on your brain than I thought? Whoever that is in Texas, isn’t your Dad, if there even is anyone there at all… You ARE Coach Danton. I know everything, there’s no point in pretending… Just tell me where the jacket is, you’ve already had your fun with it anyway. Now it’s my turn.”
It took a moment for Brian to piece everything back together. He wasn’t sure if it was the magic of the jacket that had convinced him he was his own son, or just a momentary lapse from having been unconscious.
“How… How could you know I was Coach Danton? Everyone seemed to forget way before I did. All of reality changed… I’m not even sure I remembered myself any more… Not without really trying.”
“I’m not touched by the reality warping effects of the jacket; I have this!”
A gloved hand reached around Brian's face presenting a large, vintage button in its open palm. Brian was entranced by its pearly gleam, but he couldn’t begin to guess what made it significant.
“A button?”
“A button from the Jacket, Coach. I tore it off some wannabe sportsman at the start of his change to jockhood, and I’ve kept it with me ever since. As long as I have this piece of the jacket, I’m immune to its magic; I remember the REAL world… I’m the only one who does.”
“But the jacket isn’t button-up, it has a zipp-”
The book came again without warning, bashing into the back of Brian's head, rocking him forward, almost tipping him to the ground, but he was able to shift his weight backward to catch himself in time.
“I wanted to make this easy, Coach. All you had to do was tell me where the jacket was, and I would have let you go, but you wanted to be curious. FINE. I’ll give you what you want, I’ll fill you in on the story, but you’re going to pay for being difficult…”
“... Like I said, some little nerd had found the jacket and was starting to get a taste for jock superiority, but he flew too high too fast. He picked a fight with me and I came away from it with the button. I was pissed, and there was no way I was going to give it back. His precious little vintage jacket would never be whole again, or so I thought. The next time I saw him it had changed; HE had changed. The jacket had a zipper, no buttons at all, and the nerd was starting to actually look kind of imposing. Over the next few months I noticed so many changes that nobody else seemed to pick up on. People were changing overnight, friend groups were shifting, sports clubs were expanding, people with natural talent were being outcompeted by the jacket-minted fakes, and yeah, coaches were turning into pretty, little golden-boys…
“... I’ve seen enough of the magic to know I want some for myself. I want to be the one in control of the changes for once, not merely observing them. I’ve got plans for that jacket, you don’t need to know more than that…”
“Control it?" Brian scoffed. "You can’t control it. It does whatever it wants, man. All you can do is choose who wears it.”
“No. YOU can’t control it because YOU don’t understand it.” The voice gnarled in annoyance. “I’ve been studying that jacket longer than you realize, and by now I’ve learned enough to make very good use of it, trust me… But why should you take my word for it, let's have a demonstration…”
Brian could hear some light metallic clattering sounds behind him when suddenly the glove returned to his view holding what looked like a lump of ratty, canvas fabric covered in dozens of pinback buttons, each displaying some nerdy picture or slogan.
“Recognize this?”
“Isn’t that that weird kid’s bag? That nerdy kid who graduated early… Something Mullins… Alvin Mullins? Yeah, Alvin.” Brian replied.
“That’s right…” The voice entoned eerily. “They say he sewed it himself out of recycled Boy Scout tents to practice his sci-fi costume making skills... He wore it religiously ever since the fifth grade when a bunch of jocks pierced a can of aerosol cheese in his roller-luggage bag… Remember.”
Brian had to focus on his teenager memories to try to recall, but it did sound right…
“Yeah, that’s what they say… That crappy backpack was probably the coolest thing about him… So what?”
“Well, I’ve long understood that the magic of the jock jacket can be divided but never diminished. All the power of the jacket is contained within all of its parts. That means this button is like a seed, that if planted, could give rise to an entirely new magical item of clothing.”
“Then why do you even need the original jacket at all? Just plant your seed and use the new one for your plans.” Brian said, growing impatient himself.
“It doesn’t work like that, Coach. Magic doesn’t like to repeat itself. If I want to plant this seed in truly ‘fertile soil’ it’ll have to be in the clothes of a totally different social group.” The gloved hand shook the backpack for emphasis, drawing Brian’s frantic gaze as it dawned on him what the voice was talking about.
“No way! You’re going to make a ‘Nerd Bag’? Nobody wants to be a nerd!” Brian shouted.
“I’m glad to hear you say that. Perhaps that will give me all the leverage I need to convince you to tell me where the jacket is...” The voice said.
Without another word, the second hand moved into the light, bearing the pearly button. The hand gently placed it in the center of a large bare spot on the left shoulder strap between the “A Cute Angle” and “Science Explains Cool Stuff” buttons. As it neared the fabric, it suddenly seemed to jump out of the gloved hand and stick itself to the strap where it began to lose its intricate, pearly patterning, growing bulbous and shiny, a garish shade of bright, eye-catching yellow filling its borders. Big bold text then plastered itself across the newly minted pinback button.
[NERD 4 LIFE]
“Last chance Coach. A brand new magical item like this needs to be used… It won’t let itself sit around without claiming its first victim… I’d really prefer that victim not be you. Where’s the JACKET!?”
“I don’t know! I don’t have it. I gave it to my brother, uh… Son… He put it on his boyfriend, I mean friend… He was-”
“Max has it?” The voice said, drawing the backpack nearer to Brian's face threateningly.
“Yeah, I guess so! He’s at the away game, at Baycliff.”
“Whatever, just get it for me.” The voice said flatly.
“Wha-”
“GET IT FOR ME, or you and your brother and his little friend will be playing dungeons and dragons and picking your noses in front of girls for the rest of your lives!... Or, if you’re not going to be of any use to me anyway, I can send you straight to geeksville right now.”
The hands popped the plastic buckles at the bottom of the shoulder straps and extended them out over Brian's head menacingly, and slowly began to lower them onto his shoulders.
"Lets' get this strapped on..."
“ALRIGHT!” Brian screamed. “I can get it. I’ll get it. It’s not a problem. Fuck. We don’t even want it anymore! Just tell me where to stash it, and promise you’ll leave us alone.”
“Drop it off behind the softball field equipment shed before noon on Monday, and I’ll leave you alone. If not, I hope you enjoy snorting when you laugh.”
Brian breathed out a sigh of relief as the bag withdrew from just above the tops of his shoulders.
“Unfortunately…” The raspy voice continued unexpectedly. “You still need to pay for making this more difficult than it had to be…”
Brian was confused and scared by that statement and watched intently as the eerie, gloved hands reappeared, holding his neon blue mouthguard.
“Let this remind you how serious I am.” The voice said before the unknown figure clamped his arms around Brian’s head and wrestled the mouthguard into position. He kept one hand over Brian’s mouth to keep the guard from falling out while he retrieved the floppy backpack from the shadows. Then he rubbed the worn canvas fabric up against the mouthguard in Brian’s mouth a few times before letting go of his head.
Brian tried to spit the mouthguard out but it was stuck. It felt like the back was melting and being plastered into the roof of his mouth while the front was growing thin and wiry, insinuating itself neatly against the front of Brian’s top teeth. The melted rubber on the roof of his mouth filled in tight against the backs of his teeth and hardened in place.
“What da floop?! Is this a.. A Retainer?!” Brian exclaimed in angry confusion. It was hard for him to speak with the new appliance in his mouth.
“It’s YOUR retainer, Coach. A little taste of nerd in your mouth to keep you on task… Now, get me what I want.”
“You’re gonna have do undie me if you wand my help…” Brian's said with a smile, knowing he could probably overpower the mystery person once he was set free.
“Oh I intend to.” The voice replied smugly.
Brian’s eyes darted quickly back to the rear corner where the purple t-shirt no longer was. But It wasn’t long before he caught sight of it again, pressed tight around his breathing holes.