I came here with a broken heart that no one else could see
I drew a smile on my face to paper over me
"You really don't have to come with, Curt. I appreciate it, but I can meet up with you after." Ollie smiled as they walked past the Great Lawn towards the Athletic Center.
"You've been busy all day. I'll just work on homework or something. It's no problem!" Curtis gave his sheep a friendly bump on the shoulder as they held hands. "Aren't there chairs or bleachers I can sit on?"
Ollie shrugged, "I think so. I'm just gonna be runnin though. You don't have to come just for me."
"That's fine. Seriously. I've got stuff to work on, Olls. You do you." Curtis hope his wagging tail would help convince his sheep. He'd been spending so much time running lately that it was clearly important to him and the dog wanted to be supportive. Maybe it would help him to open up a bit, though that might just be wishful thinking. Either way it would be fun to watch Ollie do what he loved.
They kissed and Curtis set up his laptop at a small table near the wall with a good view of the indoor track as Ollie headed to the locker room to change. He returned shortly afterwards and dropped off his bag then stepped onto the synthetic rubber tracks and stood for a moment with his eyes closed and his hooved hands on his stomach. It looked almost like he was trying to psyche himself up, but it was hard to tell for sure. Ollie finally began to run and shook his head as Curtis cheered supportively.
Curtis watched Ollie run for a lap or two as he smiled. The sheep was surprisingly graceful despite how much he'd grown in the last couple of days. He wasn't quite to Milo levels, but he'd definitely bulked up and Curtis loved the way his growing fur accented his muscles. He also loved the soft gut that the sheep had grown as well, though he had always been into bigger guys anyway. Not that it really mattered--he'd fallen for Ollie the first night when he was still skinny. He just wanted his sheep to be happy. And not the 'I'm happy when I'm with you' lip-service he kept getting whenever he asked.
I'm standin' on top of the world, right where I wanna be
So how can this dark cloud keep raining over me?
Did Ollie not trust him? He trusted the sheep implicitly--he told him things he'd never told anyone, some things he'd never even admitted to himself before CVU. They'd only known each other for a week or so, but he'd already given himself completely. But it was obvious that Ollie was struggling with something. Curtis didn't blame him at all--everything was changing. He just wished he could help. Wasn't that his job as his boyfriend?
Let's go back to simplicity
I feel like I've been missin' me
Was not who I'm supposed to be
I felt this darkness over me
Maybe Linus was right. He and Shro seemed happy, though maybe he was just more patient than Curtis was? He'd have to be, though, with fur like that. Curtis shuddered at the thought of maintaining such long, dreadlocked white fur.
We all get there eventually
Ollie ran by again as he started another lap. He was pushing himself pretty hard and he was running fast as he panted. No wonder he'd been the star of his long distance team in high school. Curtis had definitely gotten a boost to his stamina and agility, which he noticed playing frisbee the other night, but he couldn't imagine running that fast for that long. It was impressive.
Curtis turned his attention to his laptop and opened his recent save. He played through the chord progression he'd been working on and frowned. It was close but didn't feel quite right yet, like he was forcing it. And it had to be perfect. It couldn't be the basic I–V–vi–IV nonsense that was so common in popular music. He wanted something special. Music had been such an important part of his recent acceptance; he thought that maybe he could write something for Ollie to help him, too. He growled and deleted the whole thing.
A sudden shout echoed through room, followed by thudding and a crash. Curtis looked up just in time to see Ollie trip and go tumbling into the barrier wall. He was on his feet in a flash, leaving his stuff behind as he sprinted to help. The sheep lay dazed against the wall and Curtis quickly kneeled beside him in a panic. "Ollie! Ollie what happened? Are you OK?"
Ollie blinked at him from the ground. "I tripped on somethin." Curtis looked back to where the sheep had come from and only saw a discarded shoe. He looked back to Ollie and found what was likely the cause, as his right leg now ended in a digitigrade hock complete with a cloven hoof. "It's a good thing I have these horns. They're like a built-in helmet." Of course he'd try to make light of the situation as he grimaced.
"You've got a bloody nose," Curtis said, looking around for a nearby bathroom or paper towels or something before he pulled off his shirt. He held it to Ollie's muzzle to staunch the bleeding and used the edges to blot some of the blood out of the fur. "Are you hurt?" He began to check Ollie's limbs, but the sheep stopped him.
"I'm fine, Curtis. Stop worryin about me."
"But what if you broke something? We should take you to the nurse."
"Curtis! I said I'll be fine." Ollie sounded agitated.
"Ollie, but what if--?"
"Stop fuckin tryin to fix me, Curtis! Just leave me the fuck alone." He said it with a surprising venom that shocked them both.
You're not good enough, and you never will be.
Ollie looked like he regretted it immediately, but it was too late as tears welled in Curtis' eyes. The dog stood and turned before leaving the room and the facility. He sprinted back to his dorm, too distracted to be embarrassed about being shirtless, even if most of the Anthro students walked around without shirts anyway. He didn't even realize that he had left his laptop and headphones behind until he slammed his door shut and collapsed against it. But there was no way he could go back there. He buried his face in his paws.
Curtis jumped as Shro crouched down and placed a paw on his shoulder. "Are you OK?" He shook his head and whimpered. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head again as he hid his face from his roommate. The cat resorted to sitting next to him against the door. They leaned against each other and sat in silence for a bit.
A sharp knock came at the door. "Curtis, are you there?" Ollie sounded out of breath and worried. "Curtis? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean that...Curtis?"
"Do you want me to tell him to go away?" Shro asked quietly. Curtis shook his head and sniffled.
"Curtis? Come on. You left yer stuff at the track. Can I please at least give it back to you?" Ollie sounded emotional. "Curtis...? I'm so sorry..." The door shifted with the sound of horns bumping against wood. That was followed by a scratching sound as Ollie lowered himself to sit against the other side of the door.
Curtis could hear the sheep sobbing and his heart broke. He stood and Shro moved out of the way as he opened the door. Ollie looked up at them from the floor where he cradled Curtis' laptop, headphones, phone, and bloody shirt in his arms. The dog reached out a paw and helped him up. The sheep had tears streaming down his cheeks as he limped into the room.
It's not an easy road
But now I'm not alone
"I'm going to go grab us some food. Text me if you need anything, OK?" Shro patted Curtis on the shoulder and gave him a look. The dog nodded in thanks as the cat left the two of them alone.
Ollie gently set Curtis' equipment on the desk and sighed. He avoided looking him in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Curtis. I just..." Curtis cut him off with a hug and they stood there for a moment.
Everyone trips, everyone falls
So don't be so hard on yourself, no
"I know." Curtis kissed Ollie's forehead and his nose. "You didn't mean it. But something's up. What's going on, really?"
They sat on the bed and held each other.
"I just can't handle it. Everythin. It's just too much. I can handle turnin into a fat sheep, but not forgettin my family."
Curtis shook his head. "First of all, you're not fat. In fact, I think you look incredibly sexy." Ollie scoffed. "I'm serious! I promise I'm not just saying that."
"Thanks..."
"And I totally get the mental stuff. It's so fucking confusing. Scary, even. I don't know how the family thing works, but you don't have to go through it alone. The guys are here for you. I'm here for you. It's my job." Curtis grabbed onto Ollie's hand to emphasize his point. The sheep nodded slowly. "We'll get through this together, OK? But I can't read your mind. I don't know what you're thinking unless you tell me."
"I'll try." Ollie seemed overwhelmed at the thought.
"That's all I ask." Curtis smiled reassuringly and kissed his sheep. "How's your foot?"
"Sore."
"Did you limp all of the way here?"'
"...Yes." The sheep looked sheepish.
"Olls."
"Sorry."
"Can we at least have Felix or Percy look at it? The RAs know more than I do about stuff like this."
Ollie nodded and they stood up. Curtis pulled him into another hug before they walked into the hall together.
Won't let my heart, my heart turn into stone
So don't be so hard on yourself, no