"Hi there, I'm Harvey Mainz and this is Kendra Tykes."
"And we're here to welcome you to the official start of the Year of the Tiger and the beginning of Animalia's Lunar New Year Festival," said Kendra. Normally these two wouldn't be opening the Animalia Ambassadoria show like this, but it seemed appropriate for the big cats on the crew to do this. True, Harvey and Kendra weren't tigers, being an African lion and a mountain lion respectively, but they were close enough. They also painted black stripes on themselves for the occasion.
"Now, because this is the Year of the Tiger and not the Year of the Cat, there are less competitors for this year's title of Mister and Miss Zodiac than in previous years," said Harvey.
"There's no Year of the Cat?" asked Kendra in faux surprise.
"Not unless you're Vietnamese," said Harvey, "The Cat might have earned its place in the Chinese zodiac, but it got cheated out of it by the Rat."
"Ah, so that's why cats are always chasing rats," said Kendra. Here, several short clips of Tom chasing Jerry were shown.
"Anyhow, less tiger competitors means that the events will be shorter but fiercer," said Harvey, "It's really going to be a fight to the finish this time."
"And now, we bring you two of the tigresses who are most favored to win. Say hello to Tuxing of the Five Elements and her apprentice, Liao," said Kendra. There was a round of applause as both Tuxing and Liao walked in front of the camera. Considering Liao was nearly fully-grown, she and Tuxing did look a lot alike. However, there were several things that made it easy to tell them apart. Tuxing was wearing her longer hair up in an oriental bun and was wearing a curve-hugging red Chinese dress. Liao wore her shorter hair loose and was wearing a red sports bra and matching jogging pants.
"Nice to have you ladies on the show," said Harvey, his gaze briefly lingering on the tigers' sizeable breasts. Of course, that was just played up for comedy. Harvey wasn't about to leer at other ladies, especially in front of his girlfriend.
"It's great to be here," said Liao.
"So, what do you think makes you two the likeliest choices for winning this year?" asked Kendra.
"Well, I would like to say that it would be because of our extensive training and our dedication, and not just because we are famous," said Tuxing, "This shouldn't be a popularity contest."
"Hmm, and yet it's quite surprising that such famous and popular ladies such as you are still single," said Harvey.
"Excuse me, what?" asked Tuxing.
"Well, I'm pretty sure there are plenty of tigers around who would be more than happy to take them out on dates," said Kendra.
Tuxing glared at Liao and asked, "Liao, how much did you pay them to say this?"
"You know, I think doing well in the competition would increase a guy's chance with us," said Liao, "Anyone who ends up being Mister Year of the Tiger would be quite lucky with pairing up with Miss Year of the Tiger. Of course, that would be me."
"LIAO!" snapped Tuxing.
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"Welllll... while things settle down, let's have a look at some of the unique parts of this year's competition," said Betsy.
"We've seen five of these zodiac competitions so far," said Tom, "What makes this one different?"
"Well, for starters, we have the swimsuit competition," said Betsy.
"Like we haven't seen that before," said Tom.
"Followed immediately by the swimming race," said Betsy, indicating the pool behind them.
Tom gave her a flat look, "Cats...swimming?"
"Not just cats, tigers," said Betsy, "Tigers are one of the few species of cats who are not hydrophobic. In fact, they like to take regular swims."
"For the records, cats don't really fear water," said Tom, "It just takes forever to get our fur dry and we hate getting wet against our will."
"Well, it's the year of the Water Tiger," said Betsy, "Honestly, this was unavoidable."
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"And of course, because that's what all the boys have been clamoring for, we have the cat fight arena," said Grace.
"How literally are we supposed to be taking these cat fights?" asked Fred.
"They're not going to be just for show, like some tasteless versions of female boxing," said Grace, "Tigers are well-revered in Asian culture for their combative power. There's going to be some actual fighting."
"Hmm...it seems like it may be a bit one-sided, considering there are at least two accomplished martial artists in this competition," said Fred.
"I'm sure the match-ups will try to be more even," said Grace.
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"So, is everything going to be settled at the Mountain of the Zodiac?" asked Miles.
"Not necessarily," said Jen-Jen, "With so relatively few tigers, this isn't an elimination competition. This is more about getting the most points. Granted, the Mountain of the Zodiac is worth a lot of points and could be the decider. But there are other ways that this could unfold."
"Still, it looks like it's going to be a particularly exciting competition this year," said Miles.
"Oh, I don't doubt it," said Jen-Jen.